I command complete honesty from my pets at all times, otherwise the relationships are pointless. Slave Taquin decided to unburden himself with some interesting confessions this week which resulted in an expensive purchase to make up for it. Of course, it wasn’t really a punishment because he enjoyed shopping for the lingerie I’d requested and he certainly enjoyed how I used it to weaken him. With that in mind, and as always, I have taken notes and filed them away for the future when I decide that a real punishment is due.
I have been a bad slave! Mistress had emerged from a period of illness and I had realised that I had been doing things that I have never done in all the time that I had been her slave.
Through the Google app on my phone I had enjoyed free access to Twitter and all of the other internet pleasures during her absence. Google was the only way that I could access such things. All other apps had restrictions on them and my PC was locked down as tight as a drum. I was therefore pretty sure that I wasn’t meant to be on the fetish sites, but I went ahead anyway. Once I knew that Mistress was feeling better I had replied to one of her tweets in order to gauge whether or not my access was actually a kind concession from her whilst she was away. Her immediate question ‘what are you doing on Twitter slave?’ confirmed to me that it was not. I replied to her that I had believed that she had allowed my access. That was, as you know, a lie.
I had stepped over a line and I was not happy about it. The problem was that I knew that, having taken that first step into disobedience (by accessing Twitter) I had taken another, and then another. I decided I had to confess. Below is the start of my email to Mistress:
I mentioned in a text this morning that I wanted to make a confession. I can assure you that I am not doing this as a result of any new found desire to be punished! It is just that one of the many joys of our relationship is that I have always been 100% honest with you. This morning when you asked about Twitter access I was not totally honest. I am sorry for that Mistress.
I was pretty sure that you had not allowed me access to Twitter, or your website, or all the other joys that the internet has to offer. But a little while ago I found myself feeling a little down (and frankly a little bloody minded! Lol). I noticed that I could still access things like mobile Twitter through google. In the past I would have asked if I was allowed to. For the first time ever I decided to see if you would notice. And you didn’t. (It was a few days after this that I realised that you were not well. But it was too late by then).
I then went on to confess two subsequent sins. Firstly that I had taken the opportunity to ‘follow’ a Findom on Twitter. She was someone who had frequently appeared when I did one of my favourite hashtag searches; #blackmail. Now, many very dangerous profiles appear when you do such a search. 95% are probably from the ‘fuck you pay me’ instadomme camp. But this particular Findom appeared to have perfected her craft and had long term pets totally under her control using her undoubted femdom skills supported by all that technology has to offer. Her style is tough and particularly strict and I would imagine her victims fear her and love her in equal measure. (Much as I do Mistress!). Mistress does allow me to follow other dommes but I would always ask her permission to do so. I continued my descent into the world of disobedience by sending the domme in question a small gift and telling her how much I enjoyed her twitter feed. I was very clear in my note that I was already owned by Miss Deelight and the domme in question was kind enough to reply to my note and was respectful of the fact that my only intention was to thank her.
My second sin was to have enjoyed an exchange of emails with Princess on the subject of a forthcoming wrestling session she had planned. I had previously told her that I would be very happy for her to pick my slave brain if she ever wished to. Her forthcoming session was with someone who’s ‘needs’ appeared very similar to my own and she asked for my feedback on a couple of things. I have always enjoyed being able to help the young ladies who I have come to like who have dominated me over the years. It does give me pleasure to know that our relationships are more than just a financial transaction. I happily provided the feedback that she had asked for and thoroughly enjoyed the email exchange that ensued. Again it was all done with the mutual understanding that I am 100% the property of Miss Deelight. But I had not asked Mistresses permission to enter into such an exchange and so I knew that I had done wrong.
I have really appreciated the reaction from Mistress. Yes she has told me that I have done wrong. But she has not tried to make me feel bad about it, or myself.
(she did however publish the following warning to her slaves shortly after my misdemeanours became known: ‘Better watch out because when I’m out the other side of this I’m going to unleash hell and fury onto you all! No more soft Miss Deelight. It’s going to be ruthless bitch Deelight!)
Her response has been to firstly to close any loopholes that existed in my phone access. And she has been totally successful in that. I now find that I am blocked from any use of the internet on my phone whatsoever. I have even tried one of my favourite tricks and downloaded other browsers such as bing and firefox only to find that they too are blocked. I have now given up trying to escape. I prefer it this way in all honesty. I don’t actually enjoy being a bad slave, it is just that I always have to try to escape to check that I can’t.
And secondly Mistress has punished me, but in her own unique style. Mistress told me that I would be required to buy for her some expensive white lingerie. The twist was that I was required to research the possible options, and that I was to send them to her in order that she could choose what she liked the look of. Mistress was very clear that I was to provide pictures and internet links for each recommendation. Mistress was also very clear that the cost involved would be over and above any previous discussions or commitments made. The impact of receiving this punishment was instant and profound. It marked the beginning of several days of intense horniness, interrupted sleep and discomfort! The device really did its job over those days. I think I now begin to understand the appeal of Findom. The fact that Mistress could make me spend my money on her as a way of proving her power over me was a real turn on. As indeed was the act of choosing lingerie for her! I have never actually bought lingerie for anyone before. I found the whole process of trawling through all that the internet had to offer; looking for something that I felt might be good enough for Mistress, to be torturous in the extreme. The fact that I might be lucky enough to see her wearing what I was going to buy for her just made the whole thing so intense. After much time in front of my pc and much dribbling I sent Mistress my suggestions. Isn’t nice lingerie expensive! I knew that whichever option was chosen that my misdemeanours in Mistresses absence were going to set me back the best part of £200. Mistress quickly confirmed her choices together with the sizes that would be required to be ordered. I did as instructed, placed the orders and ensured that they were despatched directly to her gift address.
Fast forward to yesterday at the House of Deelight. I had arrived as agreed at 9am armed with a cup of coffee for Mistress. Mistress was in her vanilla attire but looked stunning as always despite the relatively early start. I was secured to the bed upstairs and was told to stay quiet and keep my eyes shut. This was to be another ‘first’ for Taquin. Normally Mistress would secure me for an hour and leave me alone whilst preparing herself for my session and her day ahead; but not today. Mistress began to speak in soft reassuring tones. I listened as she took me step by slow step to a place of physical and mental peace and tranquillity. This wasn’t hypnosis (I am one of those people who doesn’t believe that he can ever be hypnotised) but it was a very effective approach to making me feel very calm and very relaxed. Once Mistress had ensured that every ounce of tension had left my body her next objective became clear. She told me that she was going to count down from 20 during which time her property would become harder and harder. Up until this point Mistresses property had remained as relaxed as the rest of my body. A moment of worry crossed my mind. It is very rare for Mistresses property to spring to life without some form of physical stimulation. Just for a moment I became self conscious and feared failure. But it was only momentary. Mistress said ’19, you may begin to think about what is going to happen to you in the next couple of hours’. And so I did, and so Mistresses property began to stir from its slumbers. And to my great surprise as Mistress counted down from 19 to zero I became more and more aroused by the time she had got to 10 I was rock hard and desperate for her touch. Mistress didn’t have to place any erotic thoughts in my mind. All that she did was to count down in that wonderful soft, commanding, and controlled voice of hers whilst giving me permission to become aroused and congratulating me as I did. By the time Mistress reached zero I was as horny as hell. Happy in her work Mistress told me that she was now going to leave me and that I was to keep my eyes shut until she told me that I was allowed to open them on her return. And so that is how I stayed for the next 40 minutes; secured to the bed, eyes closed and body relaxed but with Mistresses property hard and dribbling and desperate for her return.
Mistress re-entered the room and mocked her dribbling property. Mistress so clearly understands, and seems to relish, the effect that she has on me. It is one of the things that makes me feel so helpless around her. All it takes is a word, a look or a momentary touch and I am lost. I was told that I could open my eyes. I was met with the sight of Mistress looking lovely wrapped as she was in a light coloured robe with a material belt holding it closed. She went to the drawers at the foot of the bed and retrieved some silk scarves. One by one she released my wrists and ankles from the restraints that had been applied for the previous hour and replaced them with a silk scarf that was then tied to the bed head or the foot of the bed. And it felt magically sensual as each was applied. Mistress allowed each scarf to caress her property as she tied me to the bed. The feeling as a scarf was placed around each limb and drawn tight was divine. And when Mistress needed to secure the wrist and ankle on the far side of the bed she had to reach across me allowing her body to lightly touch my own as she did it. I gasped at the slightest touch. Once secured Mistress walked to the bottom of the bed and admired her work. She removed her robe and to my absolute joy revealed the fact that she was wearing the white lacy lingerie that I had been made to buy for her. And it was absolutely divine! It fitted perfectly and was so, so feminine and so, so hot! Mistress took two more scarves from the drawer and climbed onto the bed placing one leg either side of my chest. I looked up and realised that I really was in heaven. Mistress took one scarf and used it to gag me. She then looked over her shoulder and used one hand to allow the remaining scarf to gently touch her property and my thighs whilst using her other hand to provide the gentlest of touches to my nipples. By now my head was swimming in a sea of pleasure. For the next hour or so Mistress teased and tormented me with her body and the scarf. She took great pleasure in telling me of what she was capable of doing to me and how weak I was in comparison to her. And she is absolutely correct. I was a total whimpering mess. And it felt so good. Mistress also took great pleasure in telling me that up until that point she hadn’t actually taken hold of her property. She had just used words, visions, thoughts, and the gentlest of touches from a silk scarf and I was in bits. When Mistress did eventually wrap the scarf around her property and take hold of it I was on the very edge of orgasm (I had been there for some time). Mistress edged me mercilessly for a little while until I was begging her to allow me to cum. I was terrified of being taken over the edge and cumming without permission. Eventually Mistress gave me her permission and with the immense relief of a slave who had been taken to breaking point I let go. And it was huge and intense! Mistress continued to work away on her property as I orgasmed uncontrollably. I didn’t know if what I was experiencing was pleasure or pain, I just knew that I had more to cum. In the end it most certainly became post orgasm torture. I writhed unable to escape her grip as Mistress continued to work on her, now hyper sensitive, property. Eventually Mistress stopped, and in a moment of intense silence I began to come to my senses. I felt satisfied, elated and exhausted. Thank you Mistress.