For the past 12 months I have been talking online with a self proclaimed ‘pathetic loser bitch’ of a slave, who has been toying with the idea of Chastity and the total relinquish of control for the entire time. Eventually through tease, encouragement and nurturing my slave added yet another lock to my collection of slaves in Chastity. I asked him to keep a diary of his experience and he has done so for me. Chastity is not an easy thing for a man to go through, especially for a man who thinks about sex regularly (like most men!), so to relinquish the control of his cock is a very challenging and testing experience, as I have mentioned many times before. For those of you considering Chastity and the amazing possibility of giving yourself to me, having me own your cock and decide when you can and can’t cum….please read this slaves diary….
Diary of a Patheticchastityloser
It has taken me a long time to get to this stage – almost 12 months of communication with Miss Deelight, where She has lured alot (almost too much) of my personal information and desires out of me, cajoling and enticingly leading me to the point i am at right now.
Miss Deelight has wanted me to show some sort of commitment for Her time, teasing me that once She has me locked in to chastity that i will be Hers for the taking and Hers to destroy. These threats and promises have done nothing but bolster my obsession with Her and i finally conceded to buying a BON4M chastity cage in order to undergo my first ever enforced abstinence for a period of 1 week. It wasn’t until this point that i realised just how many times i have an erection during 24 hours. I haven’t counted, but it is a lot! I thought that 7 days without masturbation would be easy, and i still insist that that is the case; a little bit of will power is all that is required. But having a cage? Now that is an entirely different thing altogether. Those times when i get a semi will be punished by the cage. Even when i am asleep and my natural body functions take over, i will be punished by the cage. It is because of this that i have asked Mistress, if i can forgo the plastic numbered tags as a way of locking the cage on – these would be far too easy for me to break off in a moment of weakness and/or frustration – in favour of a brass combination padlock that i can reset on camera for Mistress whilst i am wearing a blindfold and then lock in place so that only She knows the combination. This will put my life well and truly in Her hands and under Her ultimate control. For once i will not be able to run away and i will have to face the music.
Miss Delight has already begun to tease me in anticipation of being locked up by creating a sound file and placing it on Her AW profile for me to listen to, detailing how She intends to let me come to terms with my captivity and inevitable servitude, then She is going to raise the stakes by having me at Her beck and call for torturous teasing.
I have to admit that i have never felt as nervous or as excited about anything as i do about this. I still have doubts about committing – once i have put it on, i will officially be a chastity slave instead of a normal guy with an interest in a few fetishes. It is a big step, but one i intend to take, embrace and relish.
23 Mar. 14
In the build up to my being locked up, i have had an enforced absence from the internet (work related, noting to do with Miss Deelight) and it is amazing how my focus has altered from my impending chastity, which i was thinking of every minute of the day, back to more mundane things like work and general chores. Who knew that the internet had such an influence over human reaction? Certainly, with the temptation of online domination removed i seem to have diverted my energies back toward real life situations and given a better account of myself in those. I am sure that without any internet connection or interaction what-so-ever, i could be a very good person, useful and productive.
02 Apr 14
The BON4M arrived today and first impressions – it’s heavy! You certainly know that you’ve got it on! But once in place, it is relatively comfortable (relative to what exactly, i don’t know as i have no point of reference! The point is, that it’s not Uncomfortable). I couldn’t wait to try it, even if only to see how it fits.
03 Apr. 14
I wore my chastity device to work for the first time today. What an experience! Clearly i imagined everybody could tell exactly what was going on and i acted just a little on the paranoid side but it all played out ok. 3hours at work with it and no issues – but the constant reminder that i will be under someone-else’s control. One thing that did surprise me was, when i removed the stainless steel device, just how warm it was!
07 Apr. 14
The big day has arrived! Except, it hasn’t really as Miss Deelight is unable to see me lock myself in to my device today and i will have to exercise control, lock myself up and hand over control to Her tomorrow. I am disappointed and relieved at the same time but still locked myself at lunch time with the intention of not releasing myself until Sunday morning at the earliest.
6 hours in and i am confident i can make it and make Miss Deelight proud.
08 Apr. 14
My first night in the device was not too bad at all. I woke around 4am in immense pain having gained an erection during my sleep and the stainless steel device put a stop to that! Once awake, it did not take long for my penis to become flaccid again and sleep soon beckoned again. 18 hours in to my week long challenge and i am quietly confident that i will be a good chastity slave, however, i still have a modicum of control as i still have access to the keys and could remove the device if i wanted/needed to. I expect my view will change slightly once Miss Deelight takes control of the keys. She has already promised that She intends to make my life hell right from the off! That will be in around 5 ½ hours. I am excited and wary at the same time but it is too late now to back out even if i wanted to. I have taken the first step and my life will never be the same again, i am sure.
1230; It’s happened! Mistress watched me, on cam, lock the steel chastity device, place the keys in to a small plastic tub and then put the tub in to a metal toolbox. She then had me change the combination of a lock on camera, whilst She looked on and i looked away, before using the combination lock to lock the toolbox. Now SHE knows the combination to get the key to my device and i don’t! I am effectively Hers – owned and controlled!!
The afternoon since being locked has been a strange one. Physically i am in no different a situation than i was yesterday – the device is on and occasionally uncomfortable – but mentally it is a completely new ball game. I have lost control.
09 Apr. 14
I woke at 0400 this morning in a lot of pain – if i had been able to take the device off there and then, i would have, i have no doubt. But i can’t. It stays on until Miss Deelight gives me the combination to the lock. I feel really quite helpless this morning. And i can’t seem to make myself comfortable either, the steel chastity cage either digging in or pinching every time i move. Even when i don’t!
10 Apr. 14
The best day by far so far! The device has been comfortable all day – not to the extent that i ever forgot it was there, but definitely not painful in any way (except for the usual 4am “Oh my God what’s going on” moment).
I am sure that people are starting to notice my “John Wayne” walk though, or the way i shake my legs and stamp my feet when i stand up after sitting down for a while, or even the way that i lower myself in to a sitting position now. I know i am just being paranoid, and even if they have noticed they won’t make the connection to me wearing a stainless steel chastity cage!
11 Apr. 14
Here comes the weekend and i am over half way there now! Only two more nights of torment to go, but the time seems to be dragging now. The thing is, i have been adding to the torment myself by continuously watching porn on the internet. And not normal porn, but fetish porn, heavy rubber and bondage. I have been reading fetish erotica about Mistresses taking over a slaves life, PC invasion and control, leading to real life Mistress/slave activity. Certainly not conventional porn and an indication of what i am becoming?
As the day wears on i am becoming more anxious over release – both being released and not being released. Obviously i am concerned about being released in time for things to get “back to normal” for the rest of my family, but i am also concerned about removing the device and not feeling special any more. Miss Deelight told me i would miss it and i didn’t initially believe Her, but i think She has a point.
One more night to go. And i can’t wait. I’m sure that, if i needed to, i could go for longer being caged, but knowing that tomorrow is the final day has set a mental target in my head and i feel almost like it’s Christmas Eve with tomorrow not coming fast enough!!
13 Apr. 14
The day of reckoning – i tried to get hold of Miss Deelight and, for once, She had had a lie in! Starting to panic in case i couldn’t be released in time, i emailed Mistress and She replied, with a laugh, saying She would meet me online after She had got a coffee. After a quick chat, She asked if i was ready to be released and gave me the combination to the lock. Except it didn’t work! The photograph that had been taken was blurred and it was very difficult to see the numbers. After a panic of trying to decipher the numbers, lock finally opened i could get to the lock for my cage. I’m not sure who was more relieved! Then it was time to remove the cage and Miss Deelight gave me a countdown to the most incredible orgasm!
I can’t thank Miss Deelight enough for taking care of me, nurturing and encouraging me as needed and teasing and tormenting me as often as She could. It has been an unbelievable experience.