Today signifies 2 years since Sissy Mouse first entered the doors of the House of Deelight. He is all over the place at the moment. His journey is taking him on an emotional and psychological roller coaster that has got him into a bit of a state. There are often times when you want the fantasy of something so bad, that when it becomes a reality or potential reality the actuality of the situation can be somewhat scary. This is where you slaves really should be very careful about what you wish for and what indeed, you ask for! It’s a good thing that Sissy Mouse has me as a Mistress because he could have found himself in such a situation that he really did find himself totally ruined. The very fear of the fact that I COULD ruin him if I choose to is proving too much for him to bear. When training a slave and owning a slave, all my moves are carefully planned and I know your limits and how far to push them better than you do yourselves. The only thing you need to concern yourselves with is trust. You put your trust in me and let me do the driving. I will use you as ammunition against yourself and will take you to places you never thought you’d go. Once I am inside your mind and have total control over you, the only thing you can do in reality is buckle up and enjoy the ride and trust that I will bring you home safely. Sissy Mouse has been placed on a ban from the House of Deelight playground for 2 weeks to allow himself some time to catch up with himself.
Distance control journal week 21
Sunday January 3rd
This week starts with my morning message to Mistress to thank her for my nipple clip task yesterday and to wish her a nice day. Mistress replies a little later to enquire what I am doing today. I reply that I am writing my week 19 and 20 journal and some admin. Mistress then replies with my task which is to kneel every hour and chant a mantra that Mistress gives me which is “I live to serve my Mistress; my place is at her feet. I am a true submissive regardless of what my bumbling brain tries to tell me”. I am to do this 3 times every hour. I thank Mistress for my task and go about my day watching the clock.
I know why Mistress has given me this because I have recently been feeling very un-submissive. My gym visits and pushing myself have left me very testosterone filled and far from submissive. The break from the gym over Christmas has helped but I am nowhere near where I was.
Mistress messages me later in the day to ask if I am enjoying my task and tells me that all her distance slaves are doing their own chant today. I reply that it is indeed getting me a good submissive place and that it also reminded me of my first meeting with Mistress, kneeling in the gloom of her dungeon room, waiting for her to return and the anticipation that it brought.
Monday January 4th
My morning message to Mistress today was to thank her for the kneeling and chanting and to ask permission to carry this out everyday to remind me of my place. Mistress replies later that she does indeed grant permission and that I am to return to wearing my small chastity device with the small ring during the day. Mistress requires that I fit my device then say my chant and before bed do the opposite. I thank Mistress and tell her that the small cage and tight ring will keep me very focused on her control.
Mistress also gives me a small task of writing a chant for all newbie slaves to learn before they visit Mistress for the first time.
Tuesday January 5th
My day starts with the new regime of fitting chastity device and saying my chant. I send Mistress my morning message and also inform her that I am returning to the gym for the first time since before Christmas.
My gym visit goes better than I thought it would be but I am still behind where I was before Christmas. Running with the chastity device helps me remember who and what I am because with our very important session in a couple of days I don’t want to lose my submissive side.
Later in the day Mistress messages me to tell me that her gym visit resulted in an easy 6k run. I don’t think I will ever have an easy 6k run. Mistress also enquired if I have any requests for our session on Thursday adding “squeak now or forever hold your peace” I come up with a couple of ideas and then a few hours later the idea of interrogation and torture flashes into my mind and I message Mistress.
Wednesday January 6th
I message Mistress after carrying out my new routine. I hear nothing from Mistress today and my nerves are beginning to build for tomorrow’s session.
Thursday January 7th
I awake bright and early and do my routine. My session with Mistress begins at 11am so need to be ready to leave at around 10am.
Our session has already been posted on Mistress’s blog so I don’t need to bore you again with it here only to say it was very intense and as the next few days turned out very turbulent.
Friday January 8th
I awake from a very sleepless night. After yesterday’s session I am incredibly horny after being teased whilst locked in very tight chastity so tight that Mistress had to remove the cage before I did myself damage.
I message Mistress to inform her about my lack of sleep wish her a great day and already I am having doubts about what I have let myself in for. Mistress replies later in the day asking how my come down from the session was. I replied that it was not good that morning and that I was still having major doubts about the 3 months financial domination. I hear nothing more from Mistress.
Saturday January 9th
My message to Mistress today to wish her a good day was responded too by Mistress asking how I was feeling and if I was still having doubts. Mistress also added “it’s tough if you are because you will be having them for 3 months lol” and checking that I had said my mantra. I replied that I have said my mantra and that the doubts seem to have gone and I believed it was part of my come down from our session.
Mistress then tells me she will visit my pc later to order coffee (well I am still her coffee bitch) and have I got my chastity device back on after Thursday. I reply that I have and I will try to get my session write-up done today as well.
I go about my busy day with my need to finish and get my session write-up done whilst it is still fresh in my mind. So I am rushing to close up put my car in my workshop and take a customers car home as they will be collecting it in the evening. I get home and write my session blog and send it to Mistress. Mistress replies and praises me on my write-up and also says “Welcome to totally fuckeddom lol”
What I don’t realise until later is I have left my device keys at my workshop. I message Mistress that I have been my usual buffoon self which amuses Mistress and of course replies with “only you!!” and whilst Mistress is more than happy for me to suffer this cage and ring are not for sleeping in and much as I try I end up leaving the house at 3am to go and get the keys which is not a joy in winter.
This however is nothing compared to what happens in next weeks journal.
Distance control journal week 22
This week has been a bit of a roller coaster.
On Sunday I awake after a poor night sleep due to leaving my chastity keys at my workshop and going to retrieve them at 3am. I message Mistress to inform her of this and wish her a nice Sunday.
Mistress replies that she is very amused at the thought of me sneaking around at 3am collecting the keys. However as it is another chastity fail Mistress gives me a 100 lines as she sees this as a schoolboy error and I must have a schoolboy punishment. Mistress also asks if I am near my pc because she didn’t go shopping yesterday. I thank Mistress for her task and confirm I am by my pc and will be writing lines.
Mistress has instructed I write my lines whilst wearing the girliest panties I have and stockings. I have until 9pm that day and my lines are “This bumbling buffoon must always remember to keep his chastity keys close to him.” I find what I need to wear and begin I get to about line 5 and for some reason start to have a panic that I will never get them finished. Then the teamviewer box opens on my pc along with note pad and Mistress enquired if I am there and then switches on my web cam. She then instructs me to show her what I am wearing. I duly do this and she just replies “you look pathetic” yes Mistress is all I can reply. Mistress enquired how I am feeling from our session and I reply that I had a really hard drop from it on the Friday but I am feeling a lot better now (or so I thought). With that Mistress signs into my Amazon account and tells me to start stroking my cock which I can’t do because I am in chastity. Aww no touching says Mistress I bet its hard though isn’t it? I reply it’s been almost constantly hard since our session and it is now trying to burst out of its tiny cage. “That’s how I like you” replies Mistress and then starts shopping firstly adds her coffee to the basket and then informs me that she is going to buy something extra as a fine for being a dufus and forgetting my device keys. Mistress really plays with my mind going up and down her wish list and finally chooses some wax melts and adds them to the basket. Whilst doing this Mistress keeps a running commentary in the WordPad box and tells me that she hasn’t gone OTT adding just after “This time”. With that Mistress wishes me a nice day and is gone.
This is when it all starts to go weird for me. I have been buying Mistress Coffee for about 6 months and gifts since before I even met her but today was different, because even though this is one of the things that has been discussed well before our session and agreed the actual first time it happened really freaked me out. At the time I read our WordPad conversation to say I’m going to ruin you, I’m going to bankrupt you. Which was nothing like the actual conversation (which I have saved so I defiantly know it said none of those things) What our conversation actually said was I wont bankrupt you, I wont ruin you ok both added with a teasing “YET” but I know that Mistress would not do this because as she has said what is the point of that but at the time I had it firmly on my head that is what she was going to do. So I have a total flap and text Mistress to say I can see why slaves who claim to want Financial domination run away and I don’t think I can deal with the mentally. To which Mistress replies “I only bought coffee and some wax melts” which is very true.
Mistress then replies and tells me to remove my chastity device and wait at my pc. A few minutes later the teamviewer box opens and my screen goes blank. When it comes back on Mistress has loaded the clip of me licking her muddy boots in a field and reminds me that this is where I belong and not to forget it. She then instructed me to watch it and masturbate. Mistress gives me permission to cum because as she says “Your full balls are clouding your judgement”. I enjoy the relief I am given although once again feeling grubby because this time Mistress is watching me on web cam. “Does that feel better slave?” which of course it does as it has been a few months. Mistress then tells me to put my device back on and say my chant and adds as you have cum early you now have to run 6k instead of 5k before your next orgasm. I thank Mistress and apologise for taking up her time and for being a Muppet. Mistress replies that she didn’t have anything on and it was amusing for her to see me in this state and it’s only the beginning!
Mistress leaves me once again and I look at my pc screen and our conversation and all I want to do is run away. Next I start pacing up and down like a caged animal with “What have I done?” going around my head and then go and remove my panties and stockings. I then spend the next hour thinking I am going to pack it in regardless of the consequences. For some reason I then go and re read our WordPad conversation and take in what Mistress actually wrote and that she was only teasing me and playing with my mind. I then go and put my device, panties and stockings back on say my chant and carry on with my lines. I finish the lines and email Mistress a picture of them finished. Being the buffoon that I am I actually did 115 lines because I forget to count when I got to the last page.
I messaged Mistress to tell her I had done my lines and also of my major wobble. Mistress replies that she thinks I should take some time to think about things and also whether fantasy and reality is playing a part.
As today has really taken it out of me and I have not slept for a few days I head to bed early and miss a message from Mistress asking how I was. (This was very nice of her).
Monday arrives and after a really good nights sleep (maybe helped by empty balls). I awake to Mistress’s message from the night before. I reply and apologise for not replying but that I went to bed early. Later in the day Mistress replies and gives me a task to write about my journey into financial domination and financial blackmail and that once it is written and she has approved it, I am to post it on a financial domination group on fetlife. I thank Mistress for my task and enquire how long I have to write it? “Sunday Midday this will give you plenty of time to think about it” replies Mistress. So my mind starts whirring about how I got to where I am today.
On Tuesday I message Mistress and receive a reply asking if I have calmed down yet?. I reply that I have and I still think it was the intensity of our session still coming out. I also thanked Mistress for the photos she took during our session as they really helped me see myself from the outside and I looked how I felt.
My message from Mistress on Wednesday was to inform me that she was ordering her iMac and that if I had any doubts then this would be my last chance to back out. I replied that I had no doubts at all. Regardless of what else has been going on in my mind I am 100% committed to my agreement to fund the remaining balance. A little later Mistress confirms the iMac has been ordered and that I am now caught in her web for 2 years so I best make myself comfortable adding until I choose to make you uncomfortable!!
Thursday and Mistress replies to my message enquiring if I have said my mantra and that I am locked up. I reply that I have said my mantra but being so cold my balls are hiding with very little chance of getting them out. Mistress asks about my working plans for the day and I reply that I have a very busy day. I hear nothing more from Mistress today.
Friday arrives and I awake to a “Good morning slave” message from Mistress. I reply about 30 mins later apologising for not replying sooner and wish her a good day. Mistress’s reply catches me out somewhat because I thought I had been hiding this well. Mistress asks I am struggling with my submission at the moment? Which I am and confirm this. I have also not been to the gym this week in case whatever shred of submission is left gets lost again.
Mistress takes a little while to respond and when she does she tells me that I am to have a 2 week break and return to vanilla land and to contact her on Friday January 29th adding if I can last that long. I thank Mistress for the break and go about my day a little sad that this has happened again and wondering if indeed I can last that long.
Saturday is very weird because it’s the first day for so long that I have not been attached to my phone and check it all the time to see if I have missed a message. I get on with my day and achieve a great deal.
The not contacting Mistress only lasted 2 days however because I am writing this on Sunday 17th which coincides with the 2nd anniversary of my first visit to Mistress which I will always remember walking through the front door of the HOD to be met by a smiling, shiny, pvc, cat suited vision of loveliness. However it is now back to the quiet room for me until Jan 29th.
I think my next journal will be a very mixed bag of emotions.
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