Sissy Mouse has returned from his spell in the quiet corner after he had a total meltdown the other week. His fantasies had gotten so involved with his reality that he turned into an absolute mess. Not through any fault of mine. He literally asked for everything he got and even then he was still given the toned down version. So I made him take a breather for 2 weeks in order to regather himself and his focus. As it happens he came back when I was chock full busy so it wont hurt for him to stay there a little longer!
Distance control journal week 23 and 24
My two weeks in the quiet room:
My week starts as always on a Sunday which also marked 2 years since I first met and sessioned with Mistress. Later that day I read Mistress’s blog and saw that Mistress had published my week 21 and 22 journal and her words that preceded it. Everything in those few lines summed up perfectly what’s going on in my head.
I have been very fortunate over the past week to receive messages from other current and past financially dominated subs. Helping me understand that it is a very difficult journey and that I am indeed lucky that Mistress is very understanding of my current messed up situation and has sent me away for a breather. I would like to add that I would never have even contemplated this with anyone who I didn’t know and trust so well. I may be a bumbling buffoon but I am not THAT stupid.
I wrote the above words over a week ago and that was as far as I got. Since then I have had many quiet days to contemplate things and also to just get on with my work. I explained to Mistress in an email a few days ago the break had made me realise that the distance control had been taking over my life and I had lost my work focus. I spent so much time waiting for my phone to go off and not enough on doing what I should be doing. I would just do the minimum and then go off and look at the internet and twitter. I have now become much more work focused and the addiction of waiting for what’s coming next on my phone has subsided. Mistress has now put in place new procedures to ensure that this does not happen again. I have no desire to give up the distance control (if that were even possible) it’s just been tweaked slightly.
During the first week Mistress sent me a message to inform me that her shiny new iMac had arrived and how very pleased she was with the hard work all her slaves that had contributed had put in. I replied that I was very honoured, as I’m sure everyone else who contributed are to have been able to help her achieve her goal. Mistress also enquired after my general wellbeing which at the time was still up and down.
The rest of week 23 past by with nothing much more to report.
The start of week 24 brought some amusement to me. I saw a tweet from Mistress of a cupcake and that some of her distance slaves had a task. I couldn’t be sure but I guessed it involved giving the cupcake a special salty topping. I am sure we will read what the task actually was in their respective journals but its simple things like this that remind you what fun it is to be part of Mistress’s stable. Mistress also tweeted later that day that she had run a massive 10 miles for her marathon training. I had to message Mistress on the Monday morning to congratulate her on such an amazing achievement. Her reply left me in no doubt she thought the same.
On Tuesday evening Mistress messaged me to ask why I had not joined the forum on her new updated shiny website. I had not joined because I didn’t know it was there. I went and joined and was met by some familiar names already there. I also saw that Mistress had posted a video clip about financial domination and clicked on it to find Mistress looking fabulous sitting on a new office chair (gifted by another slave) in front of her new iMac. I don’t know what it was about this clip, maybe the angle it was filmed from or maybe it was the subject but it mesmerised me. Mistress also very kindly mentioned me in the clip and this touched me very much. When we had a chat about me funding the remainder of the iMac I didn’t want anyone to know because I was doing this for Mistress and not for any praise or recognition. Mistress I guess wanted people to know how much I am devoted to her, which is true because I will do anything for Mistress as long as it’s legal and moral.
I would also like to say a big thank you for the messages I have received from fellow slaves asking after my wellbeing. Whatever we do in life there will always be ups and downs it’s just sometimes they all collide and take you to a place you don’t want to be. I am still not my usual shiny self but the break has helped me to understand some of my self induced short comings.
Friday arrives and my first morning message to Mistress. Mistress informs me she has a busy day and I hear nothing more from her.
I message Mistress on Saturday and once again hear nothing from her. I am not sure if my neediness is being tested or whether she is just indulging me in another of my interests “Being ignored” as always with Mistress one never knows!