Slave Taquin – Chastity/Distance Control Week 16 Diary

While I have been away, chastity Slave, Taquin has been suffering immeasurably with the situation he found himself in; locked and without his Mistress to guide him.  Mistress made sure, however, that in my absence, he slave would suffer on a daily basis even without my being there.  You see, my pets and those of you who read this hoping to one day join my collection of Chaste slaves, I make sure that I get inside in your head and find out what makes you tick and then I use that information in ways that twist your mind as you find yourself wrapped around my little finger with blue balls and a throbbing cock.  The longer our relationship develops, the deeper inside I go until you are helplessly and hopelessly horny under my control.  The following update from Slave Taquin tells of his time locked up away from Mistress, I may also publish his Journal at a later date.  For now enjoy the read and note the comment at the end of his write-up.  A comment that he will be punished for!

Although titled ‘Week 16’ this blog is a short summary of the last 3 weeks. It started with me looking forward to a session that I had booked with Mistress, who was going to be joined on this occasion by Mistress Jessy. And how I was looking forward to it! Unfortunately it wasn’t to be. It soon became clear that Mistress would need to be away for a couple of weeks. My session was a casualty of this. I was really disappointed of course but the needs of my Mistress are certainly more important than mine. It did lead to a real dilemma however. And for once I did, initially at least, have some say in the outcome. The dilemma was whether or not I would remain in the chastity device in Mistress’s absence. I had by this time been locked in Chastity 24/7 for more than 2 weeks. It had not been an easy process. In particular I had experienced some problems with the device causing chafing. I was now getting used to the device and I thought it would be a shame not to continue. (I also thought to myself that it should be quite easy without Mistress being around to torment me – how wrong I was). In discussion with Mistress we therefore agreed that I should remain locked up throughout her absence.

Having made the decision Mistress informed me that there was no going back on it. She instructed me to write a daily journal for her that was to include detailed descriptions of any fantasies that I had. It was at this point that my torment kicked off. I started to think about the fantasies that I was going to record for Mistress. There was one overwhelming thought that I had not yet confessed to her but that had been in my mind for the last 5 days. It came from a lighthearted exchange between Mistress and myself where I had joked about taking the device off and masturbating. She had responded ‘that I had better mind my tongue or the next time we met she would replace the plastic lock with a steel one’. Now if there is one thing that I hate it is the ability to free myself. I am sure that Mistress knows this and she had therefore ‘sown the seed’ in my mind about the possibility of being locked up in a way that would leave me totally and completely at her mercy. In my final text to Mistress before her time away I told her that I was ready to take this next step. 

The thought of all opportunity to free myself being taken away from me sent me into something of a tailspin. In the immortal words of Sissy Mouse ‘I will be totally fucked’! I could think of nothing else for days. It is that contradiction that I am having to live with daily now. I think of Mistress being really tough with me and refusing to release me despite my desperation and pleading. It makes me so scared and yet so incredibly excited at the same time. The thing that scares and excites me most is the fact that I know she is capable of breaking  slaves much tougher than me. I guess it comes down to the trust that a sub puts in his dom. I have absolute trust in Miss Deelight.

Writing my journal has been an interesting but incredibly tormenting experience. Interesting because it maps my progression from being ‘Strong Taquin’ (those who have been reading this blog previously will understand) in the first few days to being ‘Desperate Taquin’ by the end. This progression was partly driven by the increasing time since my last orgasm.

A status summary might be useful at this point:
The last time I had a proper orgasm (ie not a ruin) given by Mistress was 19 weeks ago.
The last time I was allowed to provide myself an orgasm was 8 weeks ago.
I was locked in Chastity 5 weeks ago.

No wonder I am feeling so desperate today! I am aware that this amount of time is nothing compared to some of her Slaves but Mistress has now pushed me further than I would ever have thought possible. She has previously told me that she will decide when I can be pushed further than is comfortable for me. She is most certainly doing that.

My desperation is also driven by the requirement to record and send Mistress my fantasies. In writing each fantasy I become more and more horny. To make matters worse I now read back over what I have written and worry that I have said too much. I have however promised not to re-write my journal as the days go by. If I were to do so it would not be the truthful account that I was instructed to provide.

As the days have passed I have become more and more desperate. On a couple of occasions I have seriously considered taking off the device and giving myself the release that my body is screaming out for. However in doing so I have considered what the consequences might be. (I will always be honest with Mistress and would therefore have to tell her on her return.)
1) Mistress will be disappointed and angry with me.
2) I will be disappointed in myself.
3) I would have no chance of receiving an orgasm from Mistress at my next session.
4) I would probably be punished when we next met.
5) My next period of Chastity might be increased by several weeks.
6) Mistress might tell me that our agreement is over.
Even when faced with the above possibilities I was still so close to removing it. I do enjoy being denied but only to a point. This point was crossed about half way through the period of Mistresses absence. Since then it has been so very difficult.

I know that I wont be alone in having missed Mistress terribly. I had been in daily contact with her for almost 4 months before her absence and have come to really look forward to our communication. Whilst it is in some ways an unusual relationship it is a still a relationship. Mistress is the only person who I can talk with about this aspect of my life. The nature of the relationship also allows me to be more honest about other aspects of my life as well. Her absence has therefore created a void. To make matters worse the chastity device that I now wear to preserve her property reminds me of Mistress throughout every day, and for most of every night. I need to see her soon. Not just for the sexual relief that I desperately hope that she will provide me this time, but because I enjoy being with her. Goodness knows why when she is so cruel to me!

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