I have deliberately given Taquin a breather this week to ensure that he wears his device for as long as possible however I didn’t miss the opportunity to remind him exactly how easy it is for me to switch with his emotions and state of arousal in just a few brief moments.
On Sunday I found myself thinking about the future. I had the previous week enjoyed the last of my paid up sessions and needed to provide Mistress a request for future sessions. I had some time previously, in a rash moment of submission, committed to Mistress for distance control until January 2017. Today I needed to consider doing the same for sessions. This would constitute a significant commitment from both a time and money perspective of course. But by far the largest commitment was that of being owned by Miss Deelight for at least the next 8 months. I have been in this situation for long enough now to know that this will inevitably result in some incredible highs, and some unbearable lows. It is this contrast, sometimes deliberately created by Mistress and sometimes just as the result of circumstances, that adds so much to my normal life. In previous femdom relationships I have always taken it a session at a time. I knew that by signing up to the next 8 sessions now that there would be no turning back. Mistress will not allow it. Once we had agreed the terms of my forthcoming servitude and I had transferred money into Miss Delights account she took the opportunity to wind me up about the situation that I now found myself in with texts such as ‘you are well and truly at my mercy for the rest of this year’ and ‘what a shame you cant remove that device for a celebratory wank, lol’. I had as the day progressed been led into a deep pit of horny frustration. These texts just about finished me off. I went to bed that night with all sorts of emotions swirling around in my head. I was relieved about having finally made a decision about something that I had been debating in my mind for some time, I was excited about the experiences that lay ahead and I was scared by the finality of what I had done.
Monday morning dawned and I recited my mantra as I knew must. (I am meant to recite it when going to bed and when getting up in the morning but have to confess that I do sometimes forget at bed time). I will continue to try to rectify this. Mistress started to discuss how she is going to install parental controls on my I Phone. It was something that I knew would happen at some point. Mistress has already taken control of my viewing on my PC. The fact that I can still access porn on my phone has been uncomfortable for me. I always crave absolute control with no possible escape. I don’t like it when I have a potential opportunity to cheat (it is why I always feel most comfortable when locked in a chastity device). Mistress has informed me that she is looking into how best to remove this last temptation from me. She did come up with one alternative solution later in the week. She sent me a video of a slave being whipped on the thighs and explained to me that this would be my fate if she ever caught me watching porn without her permission. This is an effective temporary solution!
Following on from what was a pretty desperate weekend for me Mistress seemed to ease off for the next few days. She did ask one morning how her property was and I replied that it was relaxed due to something of a break from its normal torments. Mistress replied by informing me that she was deliberately allowing me time to acclimatise to the new device. To me it felt rather like Mistress had put the stabilisers back onto my push bike to prevent me falling off and hurting myself. I know that it has been done with my best long term interests in mind, but it didn’t feel like as much fun. The reality is that Mistress now has me for at least 8 months. I do love the fact that she is totally in control. I also love the fact that she is trying to ensure that she is able to increase my tolerance of the device in order that she can keep me locked up for longer periods.
It was Friday when Mistress illustrated once again how she is able to turn me on or off like a light switch. All it took was a series of 3 or 4 texts from her to get her property fighting with the device once again. I went to bed that night horny once again. On Saturday morning I woke to find a message left for me on my laptop. Mistress reminded me that if I have to ask her for the code to unlock myself from the chastity device I will face another 6 agonising strokes of the cane the next time I visit the HOD. But if I get sore and don’t ask for the code to release myself I will be given 18 strokes of the cane when I next attend. The phrase damned if I do and damned if I don’t comes to mind. Mistress has made absolutely certain that I wont chicken out of asking to be released if I am becoming sore. I couldn’t possibly risk having to endure 18 strokes.’
And then later in the day I was given a task that is causing me much angst. Mistress has told me that I must come up with a list of 50 humiliation tasks suitable to be given to distance control slaves. I will apologise here and now if this list results in discomfort to any of my fellow Slaves! In my defense I would like to say that a) I can’t imagine that I will include anything that Mistress has not already incorporated or considered in her domination of her subjects and b) that I doubt I have the imagination to suggest anything particularly devious. My angst is caused in particular by the fact that it could be used against me. Coming up with a list of 50 is really difficult ( I am up to about 30 so far) and doesn’t allow me the luxury of picking and choosing what to include and exclude. There are many things on there that are way outside of my personal limits. As always I will have to trust Mistress to use her best judgment. Of course the thinking process and accompanying fear has created the situation that Mistress will have hoped for. I can think of little else but this task and therefore her. I am as horny as hell again. I just wonder what the next 8 months holds for me.