Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Feeling Wonderful

Slave Taquin has, to his surprise, been feeling all warm and fuzzy like all contented and accomplished slaves should feel.  I left him for a few days post-session to come down from the high and to process what he’d endured, knowing full well that he would enjoy every single moment of his memories from the day. Mistress always knows best.

Last Saturday I had enjoyed (yes I can use that word now!) my first ever ‘punishment session’. I did of course blog about it on Sunday morning. I am still not sure that I enjoyed the sensation whilst it happened but I certainly felt the benefit of it afterwards. Having submitted my blog I realised that I felt incredibly aroused. To feel as I did the day after a session where Mistress had been kind enough to give me an orgasm was unheard of previously. It was the result of Mistress doing exactly as she wanted to me. She had hurt me and yet I had felt her care and compassion as she had done it. In doing so she had proved to me that I had no control or influence over my fetish world. She had given me a reward for what I had endured and then locked me up again. Mistress has ensured that she maintains complete control whilst I am away from her. On that Sunday afternoon I felt (and still do) totally, helplessly, owned. It is a wonderful feeling.

Later on that day Mistress sent me a YouTube video of the very sexy Rihanna performing the song S&M. It contains some great imagery. This was soon followed by a picture of the implements that Mistress had used on my backside the day before together with a picture of the effect that they had on it. Whilst it didn’t rival many ‘post punishment’ pictures I had seen previously it certainly explained to me why it was so difficult for me to sit comfortably that day.
I think it was on the Monday that Mistress tweeted a picture of a Leather journal that she had fallen in love with. In my state of feeling huge gratitude to Mistress I bought it for her immediately. It seemed to make her happy which made me happy too. Later in the day I sensed that my vanilla lady friend needed some cheering up, and so I sent her the pictures of my bum that Mistress had kindly let me have. This might not be the sort of thing that you would ordinarily do to cheer up a friend. But there again my vanilla lady friend is no ‘ordinary’ friend. She is extraordinary; she found them hilarious and requested a video of my beating! I think Mistress has sent it to her but I am not sure. Unfortunately both of my very special female friends have had problems to deal with this week. Mistress has taken a bit of time away from her slaves to cope with hers and I have spent a fair bit of time trying to support my vanilla lady friend through some difficult times.

I did feel the grip of my Mistress tighten at one point as my access to Twitter and was blocked. I sent a note to Mistress thanking her for her generosity in allowing me access to them for so long. Of course a slave does still need some stimulation and so I found myself spending time on my pc searching for mixed wrestling content on YouTube and Vimeo in particular. It doesn’t make up for my normal fetish pleasures but is exciting nonetheless.
It did in part lead to an enjoyable couple of days exchanging emails with the female wrestler who is based in South Wales who I know as Princess. Before I met Mistress I enjoyed the pleasures of mixed wrestling with a young lady from Guilford (by pleasures I mean being physically overpowered and made to suffer at the hands of a beautiful young woman). If the woman concerned is young, fit and skilful then this becomes very ‘real’ as far as I am concerned. The reality comes from two things. Firstly that my days of being able to leap nimbly around on a set of wrestling mats have long passed and secondly from the fact that I could never ever try to overpower or hurt a lady. This means that the most I can do is to try to defend myself, and I am pretty rubbish at that as well!

Mistress had given her permission for me to spend an hour being softened up by Princess immediately before a session at the HOD once last year, but unfortunately that had to be cancelled. This week Mistress gave me her permission to try again and so my emails to Princess were to try to organise an hour in advance of my March session. As we have never met before I have done my best to explain a bit about me. I do still find it slightly uncomfortable to do this. I have explained that I would like to be naked whilst wrestling (with the exception of a chastity device!) and I have tried to explain what for me are the best bits of such an experience and given her an insight into my fetish mind. It is a difficult balance for me as I never want to try to ‘script’ anything in my fetish life. But I do recognise the need to communicate my motivations effectively. Princess has made it so very easy for me to do this which I have really appreciated. I think that she understands.

The other thing that happened this week that was fun was that I found myself exchanging Facebook messages with a couple of Mistresses other long term pets. The Facebook group has provided a nice ‘safe space’ for us to be our fetish selves. I even found it rather hot when one pet suggested setting up a suggestion box of what Mistress should do to me. (I hesitated a long time before including that confession in this blog). I did play out in my mind the concept of such a thing where all of the outcomes would be strictly enforced by Mistress. Eventually I came to the conclusion that my fetish is about submitting to the will and power of my Mistress and it is only her who should determine my fate. I also concluded that a suggestion box from her other pets would very quickly descend into outcomes far too extreme for me to be able to cope with.
However it did make me cast my mind back more than a year to a journey over to the HOD for a session. I have never really understood why but 9 times out of ten such a journey is surprisingly calm and collected. I always look forward to a session but somehow I go into a vanilla zone on the morning itself. It is only once I am parked outside the HOD and I receive my entry instructions that things start to stir down below. But on the morning in question over a year ago I can still vividly remember driving along the M4 with Mistresses property trying to burst out of its cage. I felt so totally desperate and wondered how I would possibly cope once I got to Newport. I had never felt like that before (or since) on my way to a session. The thing that drove me nuts that morning was that Mistress had asked her followers whether or not I was to be allowed a full orgasm that day or whether it should be ruined. I felt so out of control as I drove along listening to the ‘pings’ as the responses came back in over twitter. (I do still remember how some of you voted! But you are totally forgiven now x). I did know that Mistress would ultimately make up her own mind up on the subject but I also suspected that she was enjoying playing with me in front of her pets and followers. I feared therefore that she would accept the result of the poll and go with ‘ruin’. In all honesty I can’t actually remember how my session finished but I do still remember the drive over there.

Anyway I politely turned down the kind offer of a ‘suggestion box’ but did conclude that in Mistresses absence we all played together very nicely!

The best bit of the week for me was last night. First of all Mistress posted some pictures on the pets Facebook page of the things we had bought for her recently. Included within this were two tantalising pictures of Mistress in the silk dressing gown I bought for her. Mistress looks absolutely stunning in it. And then she posted a very teasing video of her wearing it and thanking us for her gifts. It ensured that I went to bed a dribbling mess and then spent some time awake from 2.30am desperate for an orgasm that was an impossibility whilst locked in the device. Sigh….

Today I have woken to discover that I am locked out of my PC until midnight tonight. My balls have tightened up accordingly. Today for me will be about trying to discover some ‘wriggle room’ on my phone. I suspect I will also be revisiting pictures and videos of Mistress wearing figure hugging silk. Gorgeous!