As slave Taquin prepares himself for a vanilla date with someone he has a crush on, I am making sure that I post his blog entry in just enough time for a picture to send him into a frenzy and for my words to put thoughts in his head that will ensure that I remain on his mind and at the forefront of his focus. I have entitled this blog ‘Fort Knox’ because this week, I have added extra security to my control over Taquin. You can read more about this in his write up below. And to quote Jennifer L. Armentrout,
“That’s the funny thing about trying to escape. You never really can. Maybe temporarily, but not completely.”
My pet has learned that even if granted an escape route, he will always wind up at a dead end; No where to turn, no going back. Trapped ever more in the confines of mental and physical chastity and servitude.
I have been a slave of Miss Deelight for 18 months now. For most of that time I have been lucky enough to be controlled by her on a daily basis as one of her distance control slaves. Just occasionally I have wondered if the degree of excitement that I felt in the early days will be able to be maintained in the long term. I have sometimes feared that I might become too comfortable in the familiarity of our relationship. All I can say is that it hasn’t happened yet! I find myself as excited today as I did when I first plucked up the courage to contact Miss Deelight. The difference now is that she has steadily stripped me of any choices in this relationship. There has been a genuine power exchange over this time and this week has been a testament to this.
Sunday followed the normal routine of getting up extra early to complete the weeks blog before emailing it to Mistress, and texting her to let her know that it was there. We exchanged a couple of texts later in the day but it was primarily a vanilla day. That was until I went out to my workshop at 10.30pm to turn out the lights. I checked my pc one last time only to discover that I had missed a visit from Mistress via TeamViewer earlier in the evening. She had left me a short message. It was ‘lock yourself into your chastity device before going to bed. I own you.’ I located my device from its hiding place, went to the bathroom and, with trembling hands put it on. It is always an exciting moment for me. Mistress is forcing me to place myself at her mercy. Once the lock is clicked shut and I have sent the picture to Mistress I am physically, as well as mentally and emotionally, enslaved. I sent Mistress the photo and settled down to an inevitably restless night.
I woke up the next morning feeling happy and content. I sent a text to Mistress thanking her for locking me up again and telling her that it just felt ‘Right’. She was pleased and responded that I would remain locked for the next week before being allowed a few days out of the cage. This really got to me. I hadn’t known how long I was to be kept locked. All of a sudden a week sounded like a very long time. I became incredibly horny and felt that twinge of panic that I experience when I realise how trapped I really am.
The following morning my text inquired how Mistress was as I knew that she had been feeling unwell. Hoping that it might give her a small ‘boost’ I told her that I wanted to buy her a gift and suggested that she might like to find something that she would like on the Amazon account that I had set up for the purpose. Mistress seemed pleased by the prospect and asked if I would like to sit and watch, locked in my device, as she came onto my PC using TeamViewer and helped herself. My answer was a sincere ‘yes please Mistress’. We agreed that this would happen once she was feeling better.
Now I have to confess that I still cant get my head around how I feel about financial domination. I certainly don’t get any fetish buzz from the act of passing over money nor do I have any fantasy about ending my days in a grotty bedsit somewhere having lost all of my (and more importantly my families) savings to a findom. I accept that for some this is a really exciting concept, we are all as different in our fetish lives as we are in our vanilla lives. For me it is just another way for me to feel close to Mistress, to hopefully make her happy in the process and to benefit from her company for a short period of time. The thing that troubles me is that I do find myself drawn to the tweets and blogs from findoms who appear mean, ruthless and who would expose a slave without a second thought. I think it must the total lack of control that a slave trapped in that situation would feel. There would be no limits in this situation the slave being totally reliant on his owner for his existence. That is exciting. Fantasies are such dangerous things. Thank goodness I am the slave of Miss Deelight. Who knows what could become of me otherwise!
A couple of days went by and on the Wednesday morning I found myself exchanging texts with Mistress on the subject of being made to wear a chastity device. I had for the last few days experienced the pleasant sensation of being locked and unable to touch Mistresses property whilst being gently teased. I think it must have led to the release of a massive dose of Endorphins to my brain. It is the only logical reason that I can think of for me being stupid enough to reveal to Mistress that sometimes I felt like I never wanted her to release me. Mistress responded by telling me that she had been considering just that before I had the unfortunate incident with my current chastity device. This really did make me sit up and take notice! Me fantasising about it is one thing. Mistress considering doing it is quite another. I felt a huge urge to backtrack but could think of no way to do so.
The day progressed and I consoled myself with the fact that it was something of a mute point now as I was unable to wear my device for more than a few days at a time. (At this point I had no idea that this was to be potentially resolved by the end of the week). After another hour or so Mistress sent me a text with instructions to click on a link and do as it said. I eagerly did as I was told and was taken to a page from CFNM. Apparently I was to release myself from the device, stroke Mistresses property 200 times without cumming, and then to lock myself up again. This did not sound easy! I asked for permission to do it when I went to bed that night, and Mistress kindly agreed.
I settled down to watch TV that evening checking my phone regularly as I did so for tweets and messages. Mistress posted a tweet that sent her property hurtling towards the stainless steel bars of its cage. It was the one that had the phrase ‘No. I don’t think I will ever let you cum again’. I thought back to our exchange earlier in the day. Had Mistress interpreted it as me telling her that I never wanted another orgasm ever again??? That wasn’t what I meant at all. Was this her way of telling me that she had total control of my orgasms whether or not I was locked in a chastity device? Was this aimed at me at all? Now I don’t know about anyone else but I tend to use the ‘like’ button on twitter for a couple of things. I might use it because I find something exciting and want to put it into my liked folder in order to be able to look back at it another time or I might use it as a quick and unobtrusive way of telling the sender that I thought that their tweet was good or clever or funny. To send a ‘like’ response back to Mistress on a tweet that said ‘No. I don’t think I will ever let you cum again’ seemed pretty foolish, despite the fact that it was making me so horny. I decided that my best strategy was to ignore it. I reasoned that it was probably aimed at someone else anyway. 10 minutes later and I checked my phone again to find that I had received a text from Mistress. She had sent me the same picture and text that had been on Twitter. For those of you reading this who don’t know Mistress as well as I do… If Mistress informs you that she wont ever let you cum again, there is every chance that she wont. Admittedly it might be a mindfuck of the highest order, but equally it could be true. I didn’t know how to respond then, and sitting here today writing this blog, I still don’t know how to respond. I am so scared and yet so excited by the power that Mistress holds over me and yet I don’t believe that I could survive without the occasional orgasm to relieve the pressure.
It was with these thoughts running around in my little slave brain that I went to bed that evening to carry out the CFNM task. It was so so difficult. The first 50 strokes were manageable, the next 50 had me dribbling uncontrollably and the final 100 were done over a period of time allowing myself time to calm down between each batch. Eventually I completed number 200 and breathed a sigh of relief. All I had to do now was to wait for Mistresses property to calm down in order that I could lock myself up again. 10 minutes later and following copious dousing with cold water, I succeeded.
Towards the end of the week I decided that I wanted to find a fun video to watch and so I went onto my laptop and typed in a search on xhamster. My screen went white and a message popped up telling me that I should request access from my parents by clicking in the box provided. I knew instantly what had happened. Mistress had logged onto my computer using her TeamViewer access and installed parental controls. I quickly tried accessing some other favourite sites. Each time I was blocked. I tried accessing Miss Deelights wonderful website. Surprise, surprise I could open that one! I wondered if the parental controls were only restricting access to the generic porn sites and so I tried some of the sites of the other Dommes that I follow. Some I could access and others I couldn’t. I sent Mistress a text to which she responded with the evil emoticons crying with laughter.
I stopped and considered this new predicament that I faced. I have always enjoyed feeding my fetish interests from online sites. This might be certain videos but these days it was also about looking at the sites of other Dommes, looking at what they do, reading their blogs etc. In order to continue doing this it seemed that I would have to ask the permission of my Mistress. This would make me own up to things that I might not previously have dared to share, and who is to say that Mistress will allow access just because I ask. (I do of course have my trusty IPhone to fall back on. Maybe I will just have to get used to small screen versions of everything). I have heard of parental control being used in the context of TeamViewer distance control but really didn’t think it would have much of an impact on me. I was totally wrong! It has had me dribbling into my device ever since it was installed. I did have one short moment of freedom from it however. My inevitable need to test the effectiveness of my bonds had me searching in the settings of my computer for a means of escape. I found a screen that seemed to offer the opportunity to remove the controls. Did I dare to click on the option and face the wrath of my Mistress? I sent her a text and asked for her permission. She responded that I could try if I wished. I clicked on the available option, and it appeared to work. Instantly my phone pinged and Mistress had sent me a text. It read ‘Hmmm, well that didn’t work’. At this point I felt two main emotions. Firstly I must confess that I felt just a little smug having escaped, but my overriding emotion was one of relief that I had asked for permission before doing so. I felt quite good about it as well because I do take my role of ‘computer control guinea pig’ seriously. Whilst I am not as proficient as Mistress is with the technology I do have a reasonable understanding of it and what I lack in expertise is made up for in tenacity. One thing I was sure about was that Mistress would not allow me to be free of this new constraint for long. And I was right. Within 30 minutes parental controls had been reinstated, only this time the option to remove myself from it had been disabled. This time it looks like it is here to stay. I guess I am about to find out what Mistress is going to allow me to access from now on. Whatever it is I know that I am going to have to endure the embarrassment of asking her for access (and I suspect provide even more ammunition to use against me). I can at least still access some of the blogs and sites of the Mistresses I follow although Mistress has rather ominously informed me ‘I’ll soon correct that;)’
So far the only site that I have dared to ask for access to has been UberKinky. We agreed that I should buy another chastity device. As referred to earlier the one that I am wearing as I type this blog can only be worn for a few days before it starts to cause some damage. It is the Uberkinky spiral chastity device and the cage is made up of a series of stainless steel rings welded together. It is those rings that seem to be causing the problem. The solution therefore is to find a device that still has access for cleaning but that doesn’t have the ribs of the current device. Mistress informed me that she wished to shop for it with me and so she joined me via TeamViewer whilst I reviewed the options. The process went something like this. I used the notes page on the laptop to explain my thinking whilst bringing up the possible choices on the UberKinky site. Mistress allowed me to ramble on for long enough for me to suggest a short list and then she took over. I watched as she looked at the possible options. She read through the reviews of the different devices sometimes highlighting particular sections. I was pleased that she took her time. It is after all an important decision for both of us. After a little while I could tell what the likely outcome was going to be. Taquin was going to be more fucked than ever before. Mistress added the Bon4 metal device to my basket. She explained through my notes page the reasons why I was going to buy the chosen device. Her reasoning was absolutely correct but all I could focus on was this shiny lump of stainless steel that I was soon going to made to wear. It really does look like the fort-knox of the chastity device world. For a start the ring that goes behind the balls is hinged. I suspect that this will allow me to be fitted with a smaller ring than the current solid ring through which I have to push my balls. Secondly the cage is attached to the ring with 3 pins that will prevent the cage from twisting and allowing my balls to escape and thirdly the cage is made from a solid piece of stainless steel rather than the row of rings joined by a flexible piece of metal on my current device. I suspect that Mistress will want to lock me up in it for the first time and so will have to wait until my next session before I am going to be able to report back on its use.
Having shopped for devices it was time for Mistress to shop for herself on my amazon account. I sat and watched as Mistress pulled up her amazon wish list and started to shop. My intention was that she should buy something nice for herself or for her home, instead she stared looking at pegging harnesses! This wasn’t what I had envisaged at all and I certainly didn’t like the inference that she might be shopping for something to use on yours truly. She played with my mind for a while longer before selecting some items more personal to herself. I was pleased.
I fear in the blog above that I have failed to convey what a week this has been for me. So much has happened and Mistress has controlled and tormented me so completely. I would like to reiterate what I said at the beginning of the blog. I find myself as excited today as I did when I first plucked up the courage to contact Miss Deelight. In fact, more so. And if all of this wasn’t enough Mistress has sent me a text showing her online calendar for next week. The entry for Wednesday 17th February reads ‘Taquin meeting his friend;)’. I had rather hoped that she had forgotten that I was having lunch with a close (female) friend who I have known, and been secretly attracted to, for many years. I don’t think that next week is going to be any easier.