Due to having suffered a really nasty bout of flu, I am waaaaaaaaay behind in updating my blog with my slave’s journals so I am just going to post them in succession in order to catch up properly and for you to all have your dose of ‘I wish it was me’.
Mistress really got to me at the start of this week. She had well and truly started the process when she had declared that there was going to be a new Facebook group for her distance control slaves. I had been instructed to set myself up with an appropriate identity and as soon as I had done so had received a ‘friends’ invitation from Mistress. I eagerly accepted the invitation and became a small part of diverse group of slaves and sissy’s. It seems quite appropriate that Mistress should have an easy way to communicate with (torment) her regular pets.
Mistress quickly put this new medium to work by telling us on Sunday morning that she was still in her bed and posting on her Facebook page a picture of her heavenly body in Calvin Klein figure hugging night wear. It was supported by a message to ensure that we all got our blogs in to her that morning. I have to confess to feeling just a little bit smug at that point as I had already sent mine (this is not how I feel as I write this as I know that I will need to send Mistress a text in a moment begging for a little more time today!). Later that day Mistress posted a note thanking us for our blogs together with a picture of her stocking tops and beautifully proportioned bottom.
I do wonder sometimes if Mistress has studied the art of brainwashing, manipulation and mind control. As time has gone on I have found that she has progressively taken over my fetish life and made me totally reliant on her. Not only has she blocked me from accessing the ‘external’ fetish world except for the occasional rare glimpse provided as a reward for good behaviour but Mistress has at the same time replaced the void created with her own presence. Mistress is my fetish world now. The real skill involved here is that she has groomed me to the point that I know what she is doing to me and yet I love every step of my entrapment.
Midweek, Mistress asked me if I was still reciting my Mantra morning and night. I answered honestly that I was not. I know some might see this as either a naive and foolish confession or a desire to provoke some horrible punishment. It is neither. I subscribe to the belief that a distance control slave must always maintain 100% honesty with Mistress. Otherwise the whole thing breaks down. I had somehow got out of the habit of reciting my Mantra some weeks earlier. I told Mistress that I would ‘get back into the habit’ from that point on. And that is what I have done. The worry is that Mistress has asked the question in the first place (and then not reacted to my confession). I know that Mistress is very good at keeping records of her slaves’ achievements and misdemeanours to be referred to at some unknown point in the future.
Today though, Mistress seemed to be in a good mood. So much so that when I found that I could access her website on my phone (the escapologist in me will always try) and told her, Mistress kindly gave me her permission to look at its content. And how I enjoyed it! I love reading the blogs. I enjoy reading the introductions that Mistress writes to my own and I shudder when I read of the torments that Mistress inflicts on others. Although I know that I would not enjoy many of those torments being inflicted on me I do find the fact that Mistress does them to others an illustration of what she could so easily inflict on me if I stepped out of line. And that understanding of the very thin line that I walk is in itself exciting.
On Monday I discovered that I had missed a visit by Mistress to my PC. She had left two things for me on my desktop. The first was an image for me to use as my Facebook identity and the second was a set of pictures from a previous session. The session in question was the one where I was strapped to the whipping bench before Mistress had inserted a large anal hook and attached it to the ceiling above me. Mistress described it as a fun session that ‘we must do again sometime’. My instant and knee jerk response was to tell her that the fun was only on her side of the equation and that I would be happy never to repeat it! I know that my response to Mistress is totally irrelevant however. The joy of my relationship with Mistress is that I know that she will do whatever the hell she likes to me and I will either enjoy it or grin (wince!) and bear it.
On Wednesday Mistress asked me to make her a cock and ball torture device (sorry chaps)! I am reasonably practical and there is something particularly submissive involved in making something for Mistress that will give her even more power and an opportunity to exert it. When I said yes she quickly taunted me with the idea that she would enjoy using it on me. The other benefit from my point of view was that it provided me with a legitimate reason to visit sites such as Uberkinky and Fetters to research the best approach.
The following day Mistress asked if I was securely locked. I instantly responded with ‘yes Mistress’ to which Mistress responded equally quickly with ‘proof’? As I took the necessary picture to prove that her property was indeed still locked it grew within its prison and started to dribble with the realisation that it was being kept captive by an ever present Mistress. I thanked Mistress for keeping me secured.
On Friday Mistress sent me a teasing picture of her hand pulling down a part of her top to expose a little of her gorgeous pale breast. This teasing did of course start to get me going, but nowhere near as much as the picture that followed. It showed the next stage where her hand had pulled her top down far enough to expose her beautiful nipple. But now the hand was ‘giving me the finger’ and Mistress had annotated the picture with ‘#unobtainable’. Oh how that image and word has got to me since then! I do of course know that she is totally, 100% out of my league and that I can never hope to be more than a friendly and subservient slave to Mistress, it doesn’t stop me from being just a little bit besotted by her. Despite (and probably because) of her cruel taunts it will never stop me from fantasising.
That evening I found myself working late on a vanilla project for Mistress. This one involved a length of rope. I sent Mistress a progress picture to which she replied ‘oh the many uses for rope! Followed by ‘good boy’. Both of which sent me to bed in pleasant discomfort.
It was on Saturday morning that I had got up in the early hours for a pee and taken the opportunity to check Facebook. It appeared that I had missed a ‘goodnight message’ from Mistress sent to her distance control slaves the previous evening with a picture of her in a black corset. I didn’t go back to sleep!
There are only a few days now until I am with Mistress again for two hours of total pleasure. (This is my description not hers!) Mistress just sent me emoji’s of tears of laughter and purple devils when I used this description to her in a text. Despite this I just can’t wait….