Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Mistress Knows!


Slave Taquin found himself in a state of disconnection this week.  I had known this was coming.  When he first told me about him meeting his vanilla friend for lunch a few weeks back, he had expressed how he feels he can tell her everything.  I had warned him that he may be setting his sights too high and had even expressed when he’d asked me to read an email conversation that from a woman’s point of view I can see no ‘sexual flirtations from her’ within the message body.  I had also warned to be very careful about how much he disclosed for obvious reasons.  Come the day of his lunch date, I wound him up something chronic (see his previous blogs) and he wound himself up even more to the point where he let down his guard, threw caution to the wind and acted with the brain in his cock rather than the brain in his head; he told her he had a secret life.  I knew from the start that in his head, he was going to tell her everything and she was going to be so excited and in tune with his revelations that she would ask to join him in some kinky indulgence. I decided not to waste my breath and let him learn by his own actions.  And so it happened, my slave found himself flat as a pancake after excitedly revealing all to her and not getting the hot, horny kink fest he’d hoped for.  On top of that, all of his control from myself had been removed, he’d had to sort out his computer so it was temporary but I used the opportunity to teach my slave a lesson as to why he needs my control in his life……

This week has been a learning experience for me. It has proved to me once again that Mistress understands me so much better than I do myself. It is her most devastating weapon of all.

Things had been relatively quiet for a few days (lots of pleasant contact with Mistress but little in terms of fetish activity for Taquin) when I received a text from Mistress asking if I was looking forward to my next session in just a weeks time. It caught me a little by surprise. For some inexplicable reason I had not realised that my session was so soon. I say ‘inexplicable’ because in all previous months I would have been counting down the days long before now.

My instructions, that arrived on Tuesday morning, told me to say my mantra, put on panties, wear my butt plug for as long as was comfortable, to edge every time I went to the bathroom throughout the day and to edge every time Mistress sent me a text that said ‘go’. Mistress obviously thought that I had had it too easy for too long. And so that was how my day progressed. I wore the butt plug for the first 2 1/2 hrs. This was 1 1/2 hours longer than ever before. Every time I thought I needed a pee I would hold on for a bit longer suspecting that the moment I returned from a pee, and an edge, I would receive a text that said ‘go’. Eventually I would give in and go and complete the task. Who knew that I needed to pee so much in a day! I never did receive the text that said ‘go’ but by the time I went to bed that night I had edged myself 8 times. It did inevitably lead to  a less than peaceful nights sleep. It is not just the physical effect of having had so many unfulfilled erections, it is also the fact that each time I edged I would fantasise about what Mistress was doing to me at the time. These same thoughts tend to re-appear in the early hours of the morning!

I got up the next morning still feeling a bit horny but also beginning to fear that things weren’t quite right. On Wednesday Mistress sent me a task. She had said ‘today I want you to research figging’. Now I for one had never heard of figging! I scurried off to Google fearing what I might discover. I was right to be fearful. If you also don’t know what it is I suggest you should research it for yourself and you will understand why someone, who isn’t into pain and discomfort, would feel rather fearful. A text exchange ensued that suggested that I was going to experience figging sooner rather than later. Despite receiving the days instructions things still didn’t feel right. I took a moment to think about it further. The truth was that I had lost that background hornyness that I have learnt to live with whilst under the control of Miss Deelight. I very seldom find myself walking around in the daytime with a raging hardon (those days are sadly gone), but I do normally suffer a continual feeling of desperation in Mistresses property that I know only she can resolve for me. When I thought about it further I realised that I had been like this for some days now. As the day wore on I considered it further, but really couldn’t determine a cause. I sent Mistress a text to let her know that things weren’t as they should be and explained that I had no idea why. She kindly responded that she was sorry to hear that and would leave me in peace for the rest of the day.

That evening I picked up on a text conversation that had been due to happen for the last few days. This time it was with the female friend who I had had lunch with the previous week. I had disclosed to her that I had a fetish life as well as the vanilla one that she knew so well. My friend has reacted to this revelation with great interest. She doesn’t seem to be in the slightest bit phased by the intimate nature of the discussion that ensued. She just seems to be fascinated by the fetish world that I am part of. In many ways I have enjoyed the opportunity to discuss my fetish world with such a good friend, but it is also proving to be an uncomfortable experience. I, like many people, am concerned about how others (particularly my friends) see me as an individual. My concern is that now she has become aware of my sexually submissive nature that she will see me differently than she did before. In reality I am sure that this is my problem not hers. It doesn’t seemed to have changed anything so far. The only impact seems to have been that we are now having even more interesting conversations!

On Thursday I received a text from Mistress that explained that she was giving out a group task to her Distance Control slaves. We were each to devise ways of suffering for Mistress. Eventually I decided that I would use a rubber band to attach a pair of wooden tongue depressors to each side of Mistresses property. Each hour I would add a further rubber band. This would continue for as long as I could cope with it. I told Mistress of my plan and she replied with her approval to proceed. I lasted for 40 minutes! Two things brought my personal challenge to an end. Firstly the degree of pain and discomfort I was experiencing but secondly the lack of enthusiasm for all things fetish that had taken over my mind. I texted Mistress and explained the former, but did not tell her of the latter.

My lack of enthusiasm really was worrying me now. Mistress was still setting inventive and ‘fun’ tasks. Mistress was still messing with my mind by telling me to research figging and the like. And yet I was feeling remarkably numb about the whole thing. Maybe, after all of this time I had lost my fetish interests all together? I kept my concerns to myself.

The following morning Mistress asked me how I was. I told her that my enthusiasm was yet to return and that I was at a total loss to understand why. Mistress replied that she would tell me exactly what had happened. She said two things. Firstly that all controls on me had been removed and secondly that my communications with my friend would be having an effect. And there you have it. In one simple text Mistress had revealed what she had probably known all along. I already knew that my communications with my friend were having an effect but the point about controls was a complete revelation to me. Mistress was absolutely correct. Whether it was due to circumstance or design all of the controls that Mistress normally imposes on me had been removed for more than a week now.

1) I was no longer locked in a chastity device

2) I had set up a new user account for my laptop that Mistress was yet to take over.

3) Because of 2) parental controls had been removed from my laptop

4) Mistress had not asked for, and I had not provided, photographic evidence of any task

5) Mistress had not imposed any controls over or done anything with my IPhone

6) I had not been reminded of how fucked I am

7) Mistress had not imposed her will on me through TeamViewer.

Now I understood what had been my problem. It wasn’t that I had lost my fetish interests, quite the opposite. It now appears that I can only be horny if Mistress has a tight control of me. In that moment of understanding Mistresses property woke up. It came as such a relief to understand what had been wrong. And within minutes Mistress had started to re-impose the controls. She informed me that she was looking forward to sending me home from our session next week wearing the new device she has chosen for me. In the same text she instructed me to take my key safe with me. This tells me that she is planning to revert to proper padlocks again. A scary prospect when you consider the unbreakable nature of the Bon4m device that it will be securing. Next I received a wonderful picture of Mistress together with the instruction ‘Bow down and say your mantra’. I did as I was told.

When I woke the next morning I opened up my laptop to find a new screensaver with multiple pictures of the chastity device on. I then saw two files saved to my desktop. The first contained a chilling message that read:

There is no other way.

I know how to make things better.

I know how to make things worse.

I know every outcome.

The second file was a recording of the time that Mistress had spent on my PC via TeamViewer whilst I slept. I watched and worried about what she might have done. I saw her open up my e mail folders on Outlook. She clicked on an email that she found in one of them. It was of course addressed to me, and asked me if I was willing to accept parental controls being enabled on my account. I watched further as Mistress had said yes. It seemed that my opportunity to watch porn on my laptop had been taken away from me once again. (I did risk asking Mistress for permission to view a particular site later that day but it was met with the response ‘naughty boys don’t get privileges’ quickly followed by ‘and put your wooden chastity device on!’ The naughty boy comment was a reference to the fact that I had admitted to watching porn in the time that parental controls had been removed.)

And so my week was over. I had learnt another lesson about the effect that Miss Deelight has on how I feel. Sometimes it feels like I can’t cope with her in my life any more, but now I understand that I can’t live without her either.

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