This edition of Slave Taquin’s blog details just how perfectly I control my slave’s and their minds when I know them well enough. I plant a little seed, I add a little drop of water and sit back while the inevitable jungle of sordid thoughts and emotions unfurl in their imagination. Sometimes I play the long game, sometimes I act almost instantly. The results are always the same; in this case a trembling Taquin is left wondering what the hell has just hit him then loving every minute of it, in hindsight.
I had returned from my weekend away on the Monday afternoon to find that my PC was going to be accessible for just 30 minutes. Whilst I was grateful for any time gifted by Mistress I was disappointed to find that both Twitter and missdeelight.com where blocked by parental controls. I clicked on the button to request access to them. It wouldn’t have surprised me if this had resulted in Mistress sending me a text saying something like ‘you are back then’, indeed this was part of my logic for requesting access in the first place, but my phone remained silent. I had so many jobs to do before getting back into my fetish mind-set that I was quite pleased to have made contact (albeit in a discreet way) and still be able to get them done. Over the next 3 hours I scuttled about doing various vanilla tasks. I did check my PC at regular intervals to see if access had been granted to either of my favourite sites, but it hadn’t. By signing on and off my computer as quickly as was possible I preserved as much of my precious 30 minutes PC time as was possible. It wasn’t until the end of the day that I finally heard from Mistress. She told me that she had been out all day and had not realised that her phone had died on her.
On Tuesday I asked for some PC time to complete my blog. Mistress kindly allowed this and so I finished it off and sent it over to her. As is often the case I probably said too much within it, but I know there is absolutely no point in trying to hide any of my thoughts or feelings. Mistress knows it all anyway. A few minutes later Mistress sent me a text thanking me for my ‘insightful’ blog (the word ‘insightful’ sent a small shudder through me!) and then added on the end of it ‘tick, tock’. This I knew referred to the fact that I had a whole morning and lunchtime the following day with my vanilla lady friend who knows all about my fetish fun.
Mistress had been winding me up about the day ever since I had first asked her permission to spend time with my friend. In particular Mistress had told me that I was to take my key safe with me. Mistress had not been able to lock her property with a proper padlock for some time as she had sent me away from my last session with the padlock itself locked in the safe. It’s a long story! Although I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen the following day I was able to conclude that by the end of it there would be a steel padlock securing my device. There were only two ways that I believed this could happen. Either Mistress was going to join us somewhere during the day or she would instruct my friend remotely to open the key safe, lock me up and return the key to the safe out of my reach. I should point out at this juncture that my friend is totally relaxed with my interests. Indeed she loves hearing all about them and I knew that she would have no problems with anything that might happen during our outing. My friend knew that it was possible that Mistress could contact her directly and had already said to me that if she did exchange messages with Mistress that ‘I have absolutely no intention of telling you! I’m just gonna sit back and enjoy!!’ I am a very lucky chap to have such a friend.
I have to say that my mind is my biggest weakness and Mistresses most devastating weapon. She can plant a tiny seed and then retire knowing that over a period of time it will grow and multiply into a huge forest. This is exactly what happened this week. I had thought through all of the permutations for the following day and ended up with so many ridiculous fantasies swirling in my mind. Just one example of this was a fantasy where, whilst on our way to lunch, my friend would tell me to pull over into a lay-by. Mistress was going to be waiting in the lay-by in her car. I was to be made to get into the back seat where Mistress would tie me up and place a blanket over me. My friend would then get in also before Mistress drove us to the nearest pub where my friend and Mistress would take my credit cards, extract my pin number from me before leaving me in the car whilst they went off to have a nice chat over lunch at my expense. The whole idea of Mistress teaming up with another woman is particularly potent as far as I am concerned!
Wednesday arrived and I sent my morning text. Unusually I didn’t get any response. But this was no ‘usual’ day I surmised. I got myself ready, put the key safe in the glove compartment of the car and drove the 10 miles necessary to pick up my friend. She said goodbye to the rest of her household, jumped in the passenger seat and away we went. We chatted as we drove for the next hour down through Somerset. We didn’t actually touch on my fetish fun until some time had passed. When we did I did try to gauge if there were any tell tale signs of some sort of trap having been set by Mistress. There was not a hint of one in anything my friend said. But I suspected that she would be able to hide any such trap from me with ease. It is not that she is particularly devious it is just that I am totally gullible particularly when in the company of an attractive woman! What I did notice however was the fact that she was receiving and sending several messages on her phone. I became convinced that some were from Mistress. I didn’t ask about them however as I that knew she would refuse to tell me. We reached our destination and started selecting the items that we had gone all that way for. After a while my friend disappeared. She had been gone for over 5 minutes when I started to realise that something must be going on. I kept watching the opening that led to the car park knowing that my friend and Mistress were going to walk through it at any moment. I started to compose my thoughts. I decided that dropping to my knees and begging for mercy would be inappropriate in the middle of a retail outlet. Just try to look relaxed I concluded. But then my friend appeared from a completely different direction carrying a couple of extra items that she wanted to buy. Mistress was nowhere to be seen. We paid for all of the items and started walking back to the car. As we did so I received my first message of the day from Mistress. It said ‘I hope you have your key safe with you slave’. I quickly responded ‘yes Mistress’ and continued walking to the car wondering what was about to happen.
My friend and I got back into the car and started to discuss where we should go for lunch. If there was some plan to meet up with Mistress, I thought that this would be when I would get my first indication. But my friend didn’t appear to be trying to direct us in any particular direction or to any particular pub. Maybe Mistress wasn’t going to join us today? Or maybe she was just going to find us by tracking my phone? Or maybe my friend was going to get me to pull into a lay-by to lock me up herself?
We set off, and an hour later arrived at our chosen pub. We had a thoroughly nice lunch, chatted to our hearts content. I did occasionally look nervously over my shoulder and checked my phone frequently for messages. It was a really poor signal but it did connect occasionally. Towards the end of our lunch my phone changed from its normal screen and demanded a password to enable itself to update its settings. My immediate thought was that Mistress was doing something to it. I entered my password but it wouldn’t go past the problem screen. I tried turning it off and on again, but that didn’t work either. I tried several times more but it didn’t come back to life. It was now time to set off once again and to return my friend to her home, and so we departed. As I drove my friend tried to reset my phone for me but also failed. (She is now the only other person in the world, apart from Mistress, who I would allow to touch my phone – it holds too many secrets!) When we got to my friend’s house I asked if I could try connecting to her Wi-Fi network to try to resolve the problem with my phone. And it worked! The phone did whatever it was trying to do. I checked for texts and messages and was relieved to find that I hadn’t missed any. I said my goodbyes to my friend and left to drive home myself. I was confused and quite deflated. Nothing had happened from a fetish perspective. I had a lovely day out with my friend but I really had thought that Mistress had a plan for me. Obviously not.
But as I drove out of the village my phone pinged. I pulled over and stopped at the side of the road and read the text from Mistress. It just said ‘Hello slave’ I quickly replied before receiving a further text from Mistress that said ‘turn around’. Now I understood! Mistress had been tracking my phone all along. I knew that I wasn’t that far from where she was based. She was going to direct me to a meeting point. I have to say that being tracked and directed by Mistress excited me greatly. In a bit of a dither now I turned the car around and started driving. I drove for several miles with no further messages. I was pleased because I always stop at the road side to look at messages. But then I knew that I would be approaching a crossroads in about a mile. I listened for my phone to ping with the next instruction, but there was nothing. I got to the junction and decided to turn right. I was pretty sure that this would be the correct direction to head in. I drove for another couple of miles before deciding to pull in again and check my messages. There weren’t any new messages. I looked again at the two I had received 10 minutes earlier (I often re-read messages that Mistress sends me). As I looked at them I noticed for the first time the time that they had been sent. They had been sent at 13.50 and it was now 15.10! What the f..k! I stared in disbelief. I was really confused and then the terrible truth hit me like an express train! I was reading messages that Mistress had sent whilst my friend and I had still been sat in the pub garden earlier in the day. They had not been delivered to my phone because of the problems I had had with it, and now they had hit my in-box. The implication was horrible. Mistress had driven half way across Somerset to surprise her slave and probably to lock him up. And I hadn’t realised. I have to say at that point in time, sat in my car at the side of the road, I was quite distressed. I couldn’t get my head around why Mistress wouldn’t have got out of her car and come and joined my friend and I at our table, but she had obviously chosen not to. What distressed me most was that I know that she is a wonderful and quite unique Mistress. I appreciate her whether she is being cruel or kind. She does literally go the extra mile. And I had let her down so badly today. And then just as these horrible truths were sinking in my phone beeped to tell me that I had a phone message. It was a very angry Mistress. She told me that I was a very, very, very bad slave for turning my phone off.
Mistress never leaves messages on my phone. She was SO angry. The fact that she thought that I had turned my phone off (something I would never do) just made me feel so much worse. I texted her but with no immediate reply. I then did something I never do. I phoned her. But she did not pick up. I really was in a state by this point. What had been a lovely day out complete with the likelihood of some fetish fun with both my friend and Mistress had turned into a total disaster.
Eventually Mistress returned my text messages. We exchanged several texts during which time she ensured that I sank further and further into my pit of despair. She even sent a picture of a car parked on the right hand side of a country lane. I really couldn’t place the location, but it made me feel worse still with the realisation that she must have been following us at some point earlier in the day. This went on all the way as I drove home. My phone would ping, I would pull in to the side, read the next crushing text from Mistress, send my own grovelling response and then drive on again.
And then just before I reached my home I think that Mistress must have considered that I had suffered enough. Mistress texted me and told me that it had all been a wind up and that she had never been anywhere near me that day! She then went on to tell me that the problem with my phone had nothing to do with her, but it had played into her hands perfectly.
My first feeling on being given this news was actually one of great relief. I hadn’t let Mistress down on a day when I had become convinced that she had devoted so much time and effort to torment me.
But as I drove home I just began to feel very foolish and gullible. What an idiot I had been to allow my mind to concoct ridiculous fantasies in the first place. Mistress is far too busy, and I am certainly not important enough, for her to go chasing me around the Somerset lanes for. The new truth had hit me. Mistress had never planned to do anything with me that day. I was SO disappointed. There are some threats from Mistress that, if followed through on, would be terrible (like telling my wife all about me). But today had never fallen into that category. Today was unique. A whole morning and lunch time with a good friend who would have enjoyed anything that might have happened and a set of fantasies in my mind that grown and grown ever since Mistress had planted that seed several days earlier. I was totally deflated.
I won’t bore you any more with this tale except to say that I exchanged several more texts with Mistress that night and with my friend. Mistress quite rightly reminded me that a long-term commitment to her would inevitably result in great highs and deep lows. It is what I have signed up for. She confirmed her position of power over me and made me send her a picture to prove that her property was still locked up. I did recognise that night and indeed the next day a great kindness from Mistress. I would never expect or want sympathy from my Mistress. What I did get was a great deal of time and attention from her. It was ‘attention’ the Miss Deelight way of course. It was to dominate and control. It was to exert her authority. It was to taunt and to tease. And I really appreciated it, but despite all that she did that evening (and in any other circumstances she would have sent me to bed as a dribbling mess) I went to bed questioning my slave future. It had been a very difficult day indeed.
I woke the next day feeling a little better but still feeling low. I sent my morning text to Mistress without making any reference to what had happened the day before. Mistress responded and asked if I had told my friend about the fantasies I had in my head when we had set off across Somerset. I told her that I had told my friend that I had expected something to happen but certainly hadn’t shared what that might be. Mistress then set me my task for the day. I was to send an email to my friend that detailed the two fantasies that I had shared with Mistress the day before. And to ensure that I actually did it I was to copy it to Mistress as well.
I have to say at this point that I don’t think I have ever shared my fantasies with my friend previously. Particularly any that involved her! I thought about the task briefly and concluded:
A) My friend would not be surprised or offended
B) I had no choice.
I sent her the details of the two fantasies and awaited her response. When it did appear in my inbox a few minutes later I was not surprised to read that she would have thought it a very interesting way to conclude our morning together and she would have very much enjoyed lunch with Mistress (this was the fantasy where I would have been tied up in the back of Mistresses car whilst they dined at my expense).
Mistress asked how my friend had responded and so I told her. As the day progressed we continued to exchange messages and I felt myself being steadily and surely positioned back into my rightful slave space. Mistress told me that the next time I took my friend to lunch I was to take her somewhere very nice indeed. This was to make up for the fact that I had exposed my friend to my lewd fantasies.
Mistress then told me that she has now turned off read receipt notifications on my iMessages to her. It is the small things like this that illustrate to me how detailed and deliberate Mistress is in what she does. It is a very clever thing for her to have done as I no longer have any idea if she has seen whatever it is I have sent. I therefore just have to accept that the only time I will know if Mistress is thinking of me is if she takes the time to respond. The downside is that it removes an ‘interaction’ between us. I do find that I need some form of interaction, however small, to keep my mind correctly focussed on my Mistress! And then finally that day she sent me a screen shot from NetSanity explaining that she would soon have even more control over my phone.
It wasn’t until Friday morning however when things started to return to normal. I took the opportunity to ask Mistress if she would allow me to attend the HOD the following week. Her only response was ‘is my slave getting desperate?’ I then asked if I could have some PC time in order to write my blog. She responded by asking why I hadn’t used the time allocated to me the day before. The truth was that my head really hadn’t been in the right place to tell the tale of Wednesday’s torments. I did explain this in my response but Mistress chose to deny my request for screen time anyway (how I love a tough Mistress!) and so most of this blog has been written using one finger on my phone.
On Saturday morning Mistress surprised me with my instruction for the day. I was to remove my chastity device and replace it with the larger and heavier Bon4m. This was the device that I had spent so much time trying to get to work but had concluded would never be suitable for long-term wear. It had gone into the draw with an expectation that it might never be worn again. Mistress had told me that I was to wear it for the weekend. I did as instructed and sent Mistress the photographic evidence. Within a few minutes I understood the purpose of the change. I had become so comfortable in my normal device that I hardly realised it was there. The increased weight of the Bon4m soon became a constant reminder of my servitude to Mistress. For the first time in several days the excitement returned. What a clever Mistress she is!
I have to say that I am still quite thoughtful about the events on Wednesday. But I do see it now for what it was. It is yet another reminder for me of the dominant position that Mistress holds in this relationship. I crave a tough and cruel Mistress who is capable of building me up and knocking me down whenever she chooses. I crave a Mistress who takes great pleasure in how helpless she has made me. I crave having no control of my fetish life.
Mistress gives me all of this and so much more.