I do so enjoy reading the journal submissions from my distance control slaves at the end of each week. They give me so much more ammunition
— Miss Deelight (@Miss_Deelight) January 24, 2016
I posted this tweet on Sunday after reading the journal submissions from my distance control slaves. The purpose of my tweet was to taunt my slaves so that they knew I was already plotting and scheming. It is true however, I do enjoy reading their journals and it does provide me with ammunition. Slave Taquin once again discovered how the journals fuel my deviant mind earlier last week, where I picked up on something he had said and used it to push his boundaries even further!
On Sunday I received an instruction to send Mistress the links to blackmail videos I had talked of in my blog of last week. This is the problem with having to write a blog, it forces you to document what happens both when carrying out Mistresses instructions and at other times. Occasionally I think about leaving out certain things for fear of the potential outcome. But I never do. The wonderful thing about my fetish life is that it provides the opportunity for me to be totally honest with myself, you and with Mistress. I know that by disclosing my blackmail fantasies that Mistress will just ensnare me further, and I know that deep down that is what I (and she) wants. But it was still difficult for me to send the video clips to Mistress. I knew that once she had listened to them it would just make me all the more vulnerable. It was clear from the text that I received on Monday that our relationship had indeed changed once again. The tone was somehow tougher, less conversational and more demanding. Adrenaline started to run through my body as my heart pounded with the realisation that I had got in deeper still. The instruction I received on Monday was to go and buy some lacy French Knickers from my local supermarket. Of the many things that Mistress knows about me she certainly understands that going shopping for anything do with my fetish fills me with horror. I gave the task some thought but quickly came to the realisation that my small local supermarkets didn’t sell clothing of any sort let alone lacy French Knickers. I shared this fact with Mistress. I don’t know why I did so as I knew that she wasn’t just going to say ‘ok slave I understand’. The response that I actually received was that maybe I should borrow some from my Wife. I informed Mistress that she most certainly wouldn’t have any. Her response was to tell me to just get on with the task and find a solution. She even joked that if I didn’t she would send a pair of her own to my Wife for her to pass on to me. After a little time spent on google I realised that there was a store about 8 miles away that sold clothing. I phoned the store and asked the lady who took the call if they sold women’s underwear (even this was difficult for me! goodness knows why). And so there I was stood in the women’s underwear aisle of a, not too local, supermarket looking at lacy knickers. In the same aisle were two women also choosing items for themselves. My brain was telling me to get this over with as quickly as possible. I scanned along the shelves and spotted the only ones that seemed to fit the instructions provided by Mistress. They weren’t even in nice discreet packaging. Instead they were just hung on hangers. Then I noticed the colour coded size markers. What the hell was a size 10 or 12. What size was yours truly (as I knew for sure that I would be made to wear them at some point)? Higher numbers must be larger I reasoned. I looked through the hangers and found one that said size 18. This would have to do. I picked the hanger off the rails and placed the knickers into my basket and headed for the checkout. Thankfully I found one that was empty and headed towards it. The middle aged woman who was on the till looked in my basket, looked up at me and she knew! I know that she knew. She knew that they were for me. It was obvious. She lifted the knickers from my basket and moved them across the scanner. The bloody bar code wouldn’t scan. She held them up closer to her face whilst she manually entered the bar code number. Please, please do not call for your supervisor to help I thought. Thankfully her till recognised the code and she asked me for payment. I asked for a bag. ‘would you like a 5p bag or a bag for life’ she asked whilst still holding my purchase up in front of her. I am sure she was enjoying the moment. Eventually my knickers were bagged and paid for and I made my way quickly and thankfully to my car and away. I sent Mistress a photograph of the knickers and received the response I expected. ‘Now put them on and wear them for the rest of the day’. When I returned home I did just that. Believe it or not this was the first time that I had ever worn ladies knickers. I do love lingerie but have only previously appreciated it when it is being worn by a beautiful woman, or better still when it is tied around my balls. Today I learned something else about myself. The feeling of lacy knickers under my clothing all day was really rather tantalising. I am sure that it was because Mistress was forcing me to do it, but it felt good none the less.
I sent Mistress a note and received a reply that informed me that my position had now changed. Mistress took pleasure in telling me ‘it is no longer all about tease, I can do what I want with you now. You have no choice’.
I did make one admission to Mistress concerning my current situation this week. I confessed the fact that I had a terrible urge to say ‘no’ to her at some point to find out how far she might go to prevent my escape from her clutches. Mistress does understand this I think. I do suffer from an instinctive need to test my bonds. When I am tied up or shackled I will always consider how I might escape. In the early days I did manage to wriggle free from my bonds just once, and was horribly punished for doing so. But I cant help myself, I always have to try. I have never been able to escape since then, but it wont stop me from trying. I even tried to break free from Mistresses control of my PC, but failed miserably in my attempt. I guess I just need to be certain that there is no escape before I can settle comfortably into a state of submission. Whether or not I will ever pluck up the courage to test my blackmail bonds is unknown to me. I am probably much too much of a coward to try. At the end of the week I was instructed to help Mistress with a couple of tasks concerning her website Forum. This to be done whilst wearing my lacy knickers. It ensured my mind was in a suitably submissive state before undertaking the tasks set. It is a great honour to be told to do such things and I appreciate the opportunity to serve Mistress whenever she needs me. I have woken early this morning in order to have a final read through of this blog before submitting it. I have just looked at Twitter and seen a series of tweets from Mistress late last night. She was obviously up very late resolving her technology (new I mac etc). The tweets I have read have made me tremble. Between them they say… ‘Technology sorted’, Slave blogs provide Mistress with ‘much more ammunition’ and ‘watch out slaves I’m coming for you’. Any slave of Miss Deelight should know that Mistress doesn’t make idle threats.This particular slave is very scared this morning!