Just as Mistress will encounter periods of consumed time and other commitments during a long term D/s relationship, so too will my slaves. This time it was Slave Taquin’s turn to have that period of interruptions. I was never too far away though and always planning my next move as is always the case with my pets. Sometimes I like to make them wait for my attention in order that when they do get it, it’s like they are a child who has been given a big bag of candy. When I was a sub, one of the Dom males I had an encounter with did just this to me. Only he always took it too far. In the end I parted company with him because I personally couldn’t bear the longing. With this is mind, I know just how far to push my slaves when it comes to my attention or lack of it. Even in this case where Slave Taquin was the one dealing with vanilla issues, I didn’t drop everything for him when he had returned. I waited until the time was right, and to good effect.
Its a funny thing subspace. It is the state of mind and body that I feel happiest in. It feels comfortable and right. I can live within subspace for weeks on end sometimes but at other times I find that I have left it far behind. When this happens it can feel like I will never find it again, and then in a moment I can return to it for the most unexpected reasons. This week was a good example of this.
I had returned from a long weekend away on the Sunday afternoon to find my computer locked down and my phone internet access turned off. For much of the previous week I had been finding it difficult to find my submissive side. This had nothing to do with Mistress and everything to do with me. Mistress had been kind enough to allow me out of chastity due to the device starting to chafe which had a major part to play in this. I always get a bit down when this happens. I know it can’t be helped but remain hopeful that, one day, I will be able to return to continuous lock up. In addition to being out of my chastity device I had been away with some friends for the weekend. I was feeling very vanilla by the time I got back. To find Mistress tightening her grasp once I returned through pc and phone control did start to push me back towards subspace, but only temporarily.
On Monday I completed and submitted my blog. Mistress informed me that my device was due to go back on today. I was pleased to hear this but knew that it was likely that I would be made to endure the discomfort and frustration of a ruined orgasm before being allowed to lock up again. Later in the day Mistress thanked me for a task I had completed for her a few days earlier. This was kind of her. I was feeling somewhat cheeky and asked for an ‘appropriate reward’. (I still hold out what I believed was the ridiculous hope that one day I might be allowed to provide myself with a proper orgasm). Mistress replied ‘sure! You can have a plugged ruin’. As far as I was concerned this meant put your butt plug in and give yourself a ruin. Mistress knows that having a butt plug in spoils any sort of orgasm for me. My response to her must have indicated what my interpretation of her instruction was as I received a very rapid response telling me that I had got it all wrong! I was instructed to go and research what a plugged ruin really was. I did as instructed and quickly discovered that a plugged ruin is apparently when you plug your pee hole with a rod of soap and then give yourself a ruin. This sounded horrible! I don’t know if it was my fear of such an experience or my general vanilla mind set but this really wasn’t working for me. I don’t know if Mistress could sense this from my responses but all went quiet for a while. A little later I received a text from Mistress informing me of a change of plans. Apparently she had been playing a game with her other slaves over the weekend, and now it was my turn. The instruction I received is copied below:
I am going to text you sporadically with the word stroke and a number. If the number is even you must stroke fast for that amount of time. If it is odd you must stroke slowly. If you get to the edge you just stop long enough for it to subside, then resume until your time is up. Keep an eye on your phone. Acknowledge every message and text each time your task is complete.
I naively asked whether or not the number related to the number of strokes or number of seconds. The response below from Mistress helped to clarify matters for me!
Number of minutes 😂😂😂😂. Seconds?!! 🙈🙈🙈FFS!!!
What should be remembered here dear reader is that Mistresses property hardly ever gets to feel any touch of any kind. This combined with the lack of any form of orgasm for more than 2 weeks inevitably leads to something of a ‘hair trigger’. I thought that this task was going to be very difficult, and I was right. Throughout the day I received Mistresses instruction and with great difficulty I carried it out to the letter. The difficulty relates to the number of times that I had to stop and then start again to prevent accidents. Whilst I did find the task enjoyable, tormenting and difficult I still found myself rather relaxed about the whole thing.
On Tuesday I let Mistress know how I was feeling. Her response was quick and effective. She told me to lock up and await further instructions. And so I did. For those who are less familiar with Mistress let me just clarify something for you. If as her slave you tell Mistress that you are struggling to find your subspace you should not expect her to instantly respond by beating you to a pulp with a virtual whip! It really doesn’t work that way. In reality you can never know how she will respond. As the slave of Miss Deelight you can only ever inform, you can never hope to influence. I was now locked and unable to touch Mistresses property. The only other thing that happened over the next couple of days was that I reviewed a video that Mistress was part way through producing and let her know my thoughts and I purchased a gift for her for her Birthday. Apart from this I was left to stew. Mistress knows that time is one of her greatest allies. I have no choice but to wait whilst desperately hoping to hear from her.
It wasn’t until Thursday that Mistress plunged me back into sub-space, and in the most surprising manner. All it took was a copy of an email from Microsoft. Mistress had asked them to copy me in on the weekly parental control report that she receives from them. It was the first time that I had been allowed to see the detail that Mistress receives on the usage of the PC that she now controls. The moment I saw it I realised that I would be in big trouble if it showed that I had been breaking the ‘no porn’ ban. In theory I shouldn’t be able to due to the restrictions that Mistress has imposed on my PC but I couldn’t be sure. The thing that struck most fear into me was the fact that it showed a summary of my google searches. Even if I had failed to access any fun sites I was worried that it could show if I had been trying to do so. I thought that I had been a good slave in the previous week but fretted none the less. I quickly scrolled down the list of searches made and breathed a sigh of relief. The whole process had left me a dribbling mess once again.
And then vanilla life got in the way of servitude once again. This time in the form of domestic difficulties. All very dull, very tedious and quite upsetting. Mistress was very understanding and kindly allowed me the time and space to resolve them. My brief trip into subspace had been curtailed once again.
It was only on Saturday afternoon that I managed to move on from some of the problems in my vanilla world. I informed Mistress that I was back. And then the most surprising thing happened. Mistress told me that at bed time I was to remove my device, stroke myself slowly for 30 minutes and then provide myself with an orgasm. This came as a huge shock! I honestly cant remember the last time that I had been allowed to do this and to enjoy the experience. The last time that I had been allowed to provide myself an orgasm was during the ‘cupcake challenge’ several months earlier. But that was videoed and I was very nervous doing it. It must be well over a year since I had been allowed to give myself a proper orgasm in the comfort of my own imagination. I went to bed early on Saturday night! I did as instructed. After 10 minutes of slow stroking I was ‘clock watching’, after 15 minutes I was getting desperate, after 20 minutes I had started to think about breaking the rule set and taking myself over the edge there and then. But I waited and watched the clock as every second went by until my 30 minutes was up. Seconds later I was enjoying an incredible orgasm fuelled by the memory of Mistress looking down on me at my last session safe in the knowledge that she had me just where I belonged. I went to sleep one very happy slave.