Slave Taquin has been good to me in recent weeks however I have also noted his errors. The errors were all recorded in a document and I decided because I was feeling sadistic that day, that he was going to pay for his errors in this session. I really did unleash my inner beast onto him and he left not knowing what the fuck had hit him. Guess what? He still loves me ;)
I left the HOD disorientated and shocked. I had just realised that this weeks session had been carefully planned to hurt, humiliate and punish me. Even the ‘good bits’ had been part of the overall plan to result in my eventual despair. The timing of such a session was perfectly planned. It happened when I least expected it. In my mind I had been such a good slave recently. I had contributed financially (in a small way) to both of Mistresses holidays, I had bought her gifts, I had delayed my session by a week in order to spend a day doing an urgent vanilla task for her and only the night before my session I had agreed to buy Mistress an expensive outfit that she had fallen in love with. Of course, my relationship with Mistress is not ‘transactional’. I wouldn’t want or expect a genuine sub domme relationship to work that way. It is a long term relationship where I have to accept and come to terms with whatever Mistress thinks is best for me, or happens to please her on a given day. As she reminded me yesterday, I need to learn to take the rough with the smooth. I can never know what comes next. I know from past experience that it won’t be long before I find myself referring to this weeks session as a positive experience. It is just that today it still hurts!
I am writing this section of my blog 2 days after the session. You will tell from it that the events are still vivid and raw in my mind. But I should also say that Mistress has been looking after me ever since, building me back up piece by piece. She is a genuine, dominant and powerful Mistress and she cares for me in her unique and wonderful way. I love being her submissive slave. This weeks session was tough for me. As part of my ‘recovery’ from it I felt the need to write about it now as I know that it will be difficult for me.
On parking close to the HOD I checked my phone to find that Mistress had left me a message. It was the sort of message that inevitably excites me. It was a set of clear instructions as to what I was to do on entering the HOD. There is little better than being ‘bossed about’ by Mistress as far as I am concerned. 10 minutes later I found myself naked (apart from my slave collar and chastity device), kneeling on the dungeon floor, facing the fireplace, head down with the items that I had bought with me laid out neatly in front of me. I had bought my key safe containing the key to the chastity device, Viagra, ‘The Vice’ chastity device and £210 cash for Mistress to buy her outfit. (The cash had been removed from the money I am saving up for another 12 months as Mistress Deelight’s slave – I will just have to work/save harder!).
Mistress entered the room and immediately blindfolded me. She made me stand, take 2 steps back and sit on the hard wooden chair she had placed behind me. My arms and wrists were gaffer taped to the chair back. My thighs were then gently but firmly tied to the chair. I love the feeling of soft rope bindings and this combined with the moments when I felt Mistresses body lean in against mine ensured that her property grew and dribbled in its cage. Mistress then gaffer taped my ankles to the chair, made me swallow a Viagra, checked that I had no possible means of escape and left the room. Over the next hour Mistress occasionally returned to the room, chatted about the music she was playing me and treated me to the very occasional tantalising torment of her touch on my body. I was drifting gently into subspace when I heard Mistresses steps approaching once again. This time I could tell that she was wearing heels and therefore that my session proper was about to start. As always I had no idea what lay ahead. Mistress had talked earlier of ‘fun and games’ and ‘surprises’. Both comments had worried me as I always consider that my needs are quite basic and straightforward. Mistress has a history of pushing my boundaries to ensure that I am never too comfortable or complacent.
The session started so well. Mistress teased and tormented my securely bound body with her hands and her body. Very quickly her Viagra fuelled property was trying to burst out of its stainless steel cage. But the cage stayed firmly in place.
Mistress cut through the gaffer tape bindings on my wrists and replaced them with some cuffs. They felt light and soft, not like any other cuffs that I had experienced before. She then did the same with my ankles. I was told to open wide whilst Mistress tried to apply a gag, but this gags ball was too large for my mouth and so Mistress just applied it sitting on the outside of my mouth. I thought this was odd as she would normally get the smaller gag to make sure that it did its required job effectively. It was only as Mistress was applying a collar around my neck, that also felt soft and comfortable’ that I realised what was happening. I had seen a tweet from Mistress only a few days earlier that displayed a photo of a set of pink, light bondage items that I assumed would be used on the Sissies within her ever growing stable (or should that be Harem?). I muttered past the gag that I guessed that I now looked ‘pretty in pink’. Mistress didn’t reply. I heard her go upstairs and return a few minutes later. She lifted my arms in front of me and fitted a bra on me. Next, the bandage blindfold that had been obscuring my vision since the beginning of the session was replaced by a lightweight elasticated blindfold. And finally, I felt Mistress put a wig on my head. I should say at this point that wearing women’s clothes is not my ‘thing’ (in the same way that many chaps wouldn’t find anything remotely exciting about having their tackle locked in a stainless steel device – which is definitely one of my ‘things’). And neither is humiliation. And so when I felt Mistress sit on my lap, in a way that told me that she was taking a selfie of the two of us for online publication, and I heard the click of the photo being taken I was far from excited. But what happened next was even worse. Mistress removed my blindfold, stood in front of me and started to video me. Mistress made me say things that I didn’t want to say and made me feel terrible. I was mortified. I wondered if this was being done to punish me or was her way of playing to my Blackmail fetish. I still don’t know the answer to that question although I have concluded that it was the former rather than the latter. (If Mistress really wants to blackmail me she has already illustrated the fact that she can do all sorts of things that would scare me sufficiently to ensure my compliance without resorting to the ‘nuclear’ option).
Once happy that she had completed her video Mistress began to tease me. It was lovely of course. It is one of the things that I enjoy most and Mistress is so good at it. I allowed the horrors of the humiliation and video to start to drift into the background as the sensations of touch, smell and vision (Mistress was wearing a fabulous black body suit and looked every past the magnificent woman that she is) filled my body and soul. After a little while Mistress sat on my lap facing away from me and started to read from her phone. It started ‘May the 15th. Today I sent an e mail to Princess without Mistresses permission’, or something similar. I really can’t remember the content but basically Mistress had stored up all of my confessional emails or blogs and was reading each one back to me. And as she concluded each confession (and there were lots of them) she would slap my legs, hard. I hate pain (how many times have you heard me say that) but I know that it is something that I have to endure. It is a true punishment for me in a relationship that I want to be 100% genuine. Today Mistress really hurt me. She slapped and slapped until I could not bear it any longer and then she pinched the area of sore skin before moving onto the next confession and the next part of my soft exposed flesh. In between each set of slaps, she would tease me with her body and her touch. She then stood in from of me and admonished me further whilst whipping my legs with a lightweight but effective tawse. And again in between each session of excruciating pain she teased me. By the time that she had finished I was shaking uncontrollably. Mistress slowly removed my bindings and teased me as she did it. I began to calm down and cheer up a bit as despite the pain I was desperately in need of an orgasm. The device had remained on until this point and so I so looked forward to it being removed for just a little while. Mistress looked me in the face and said ‘go upstairs and get dressed’. I looked back at her feeling totally shocked and confused. I asked if my session was really over. She repeated her instruction. I staggered to the bottom of the stairs disorientated by what had happened and the fact that I was going to be sent home without an orgasm. I had waited so long and suffered so much in the anticipation of this one kindness from Mistress. I looked back at Mistress as I was about to climb the stairs hoping that she would say ‘only joking’. Instead, she mocked me and told me to get on with it. 5 minutes later I heard Mistress laughing at me as I left the HOD still disorientated and confused by what had happened. I was in something of a state!
Mistress has been kind to me since my session. She has shown genuine concern for my well being. I have subsequently found out that Mistress had become increasingly annoyed by some of my behaviours and had decided to ensure that I remembered her dissatisfaction. She also told me that my session happened to fall on a day when she was feeling particularly sadistic and that she had decided to enjoy the opportunity that my bad behaviour had offered up to her.
This is what I have signed up to. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I am picking myself up again and still consider myself to be the luckiest slave alive. I will just have to have better behaved in future.