• Tag Archives Distance Chastity
  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – From Avocado to Empty Savings

    From avocado to an emptied savings account.

    Following my last session with Mistress I have been blessed with a wonderful amount of attention and tasks. I hope the below can do it justice.

    My first daily task given to me whilst Mistress was shocking my ass was to eat half an avocado with my lunch every day and send photographic or video evidence. Now if you like avocado then it wouldn’t be a problem but Mistress wouldn’t give me a task if I liked or enjoyed something. Mistress gives me tasks to push, degrade or humiliate myself. So, the first day I mashed it into a bacon sandwich and that was just about palatable. The second day was just plain mashed ‘yuk’. The third day was to eat it off a public toilet seat. This I must say made me have a bit of a wobble and I messaged Mistress in the morning to say I couldn’t do it. I heard nothing from Mistress. I found out later that she had left me to stew and this allowed me to remind myself that I enjoy it when Mistress degrades me. So later in the day I messaged Mistress back to apologies for my earlier message and I would indeed carry out her instructions. As I was going away for a few days I had planned where I was going to eat it. I had two choices one was McDonalds and the other was a large supermarket toilet. As if by magic as soon as I sent Mistress the message I got a reply saying, ‘I simply ignored you until you stopped having you flap and would be doing as instructed’.

    I set off for my break and after a few hours reached my destination only to find the junction to access the McDonalds was shut for roadworks so option 2 the supermarket. I park up head inside, locate the toilets and find they are out of order! It is now around 8pm and I have to accept my failure of the task today. Following a message to Mistress, she was kind enough to allow me to eat the avocado off the toilet seat where I was staying. Which I did and duly sent Mistress the video evidence. The next couple of days I was a bit off grid but still carried out my task. The final day Mistress upped the ante and instructed me to mix mud with the avocado. This was a horrible thought but in another way incredibly arousing to be instructed to degrade myself in such a way. Lunch time arrived and I sent Mistress the pictures of the pre- and then mixed avocado and mud. I managed 2 mouthfuls and was almost sick. I just couldn’t eat it. The avocado on its own is just manageable but the mud pushed me over the edge. I messaged Mistress and confessed that I had failed. Mistress was to the point in her reply. Avocado for lunch for another week. Anyone reading this will know if something turns your stomach you just can’t touch it again. I messaged Mistress to plead with her that I couldn’t stomach it for another week. Mistress’s response was simple ‘Are you refusing?’ My reply was that I felt caught between a rock and a hard place.
    The following day I was very in edge but heard nothing from Mistress at all. This made me sooo nervous for the entire day.

    The following few days were quiet as Mistress was busy. Mistress was very kind and set some of her slaves a ‘Write for me’ task. I also requested Mistress’s help in setting up a new payee from my bank account. If you don’t know Mistress has my bank secure key and I can access the account but can’t make any changes or set up anything without her permission, whereas Mistress has full control and could if she chose changed the passwords etc and lock me out.
    The beginning of the week Mistress kindly visited my pc via teamviewer and set up the payee I needed and left me to it.

    The following day Mistress enquired if I had attempted the write for me task (at that point I had managed about 1 line and just wasn’t in the right place mentally) I also had just returned from a walk. I was lying on the sofa the night before contemplating my sloth like life and decided I needed to start walking again as I have let myself go once again. It was by complete coincidence that I received a message from Slave Taquin to say he had asked Mistress if she would help encourage him to get a bit fitter. It was the inspiration I needed and headed out for a walk. I messaged Mistress that Taquin had inspired me to walk. This has led to Mistress setting up a shared exercise plan for both Taquin and myself. We can view each other’s progress (Taquin is doing much better and walking much further than me).
    Later in the day I was writing an email to Mistress when the TeamViewer box opened and the screen went blank. Whenever this happens I walk away and wait for the screen to come back, which it did about 20 minutes later so I went back to writing me email. Then Mistress appeared again, did what she needed to do and replied to my partially written email on the screen and was gone.
    After Mistress’s visit I had quite a few websites blocked to me and none of them adult. Mistress kindly restored a few of them but some are still blocked to me.

    The next day I once again went for a walk and then returned to try and complete my write for me task. I was doing reasonable until the screen went blank with some text written on it saying, ‘you are a bumbling idiot’ which completely threw me and I had to just give up again.

    The following day was another walk and another attempt to finish the write for me task. As I was almost getting into a rhythm my phone rang. So, I had to shut the task and answer the phone but as I got to it, it had stopped ringing. I checked who called and it was Mistress (which was most unusual) I called her back but no answer so I assumed it was by mistake. I sat back down to try the task again and the phone goes again. Once again, I get to it, it stops ringing once again. This time a withheld number. This happens a few times and then I realise as soon as I walk past Mistress’s security camera my phone stops. Walk back in the room it starts ringing again. I decide it is best to go and do some work outside and on my return my phone has another number that has called me several times. Once again, no answer. I learn later via twitter that Mistress had been doing the same to Taquin. Of course, when I asked Mistress she knew nothing about it.

    The following day, Friday it is sad to hear that Mistress is unwell so I wish her a speedy recovery and go about my day not expecting to hear anything further from Mistress today. However later Mistress enquires if I had purchased a dash cam for her boyfriend now known to me as Master Deelight. I confirm I have and Mistress thanks me and sends me a link to some of her video clips for me to watch. Mistress informs me I have until Sunday to watch them. I thank Mistress and have a quick look as I am not alone at the time. Being the kind Mistress that she is, by the time I had some alone time to view them the link didn’t work. I message Mistress and inform her of this and she kindly told me that she had cancelled it because I was too bumbling. Thank you, Mistress.

    Saturday is quite quiet because Mistress is still unwell but it turns out not that unwell to change the Qustodio settings on my pc which results in my screen now going blank at random times during the day. With windows family you knew what access you had but with Qustodio only Mistress knows what access I have. Deelightfully frustrating.
    I am going to skip over the next couple of days because they involved me trying to help a relatively new slave with his obvious neediness. We exchanged a couple of pleasant emails and then later that night he sent Mistress a shitty email about me emailing him and how he didn’t authorise it.

    For the record he emailed me first and I offered my help freely.
    What annoyed me the most was that it made me feel totally shit for two reasons. Firstly because of the shite it brought to Mistress’s door and secondly being a total waste of my time trying to help someone. Both me and Slave Taquin are very approachable people and will try and help anyone in Mistress’s stable whether that be a newbie or someone looking to try things we have. I would like to say that Slave Taquin has helped me immensely through some of my shite and I am truly grateful to him for it.

    Now we come to Wednesday and in the afternoon, I am with someone when my phone lights up and Mistress quiet unexpectedly visiting it via TeamViewer. I pick the phone up to hide what is happening from the person I am with and watch as Mistress opens the web browser and visits Amazon. I don’t have my password saved and a message comes through for me to sign in. I do as instructed and place the phone down screen hidden. After about 20 mins I lift the phone to see the Amazon order page left open and then to my shock (and arousal) see that Mistress has been on a bit of a shop at my expense. This is probably the most Mistress has ever just helped herself too. Mistress has also left me a lovely video telling me I have been had and how she has me by the balls (how delightfully true). I must be honest this has not come at a good time for me financially and that only enhanced my arousal. The video was so mesmerising, every one of the 22 seconds. It certainly made me day.

    The final entry in this three week catch up end with Mistress messaging me saying she couldn’t access my pc. I restarted it and that worked (good ole turn it off and on again). Mistress informed me she was editing some videos and would then be visiting my pc. As always, I never ask why and just leave her to it. Around 9pm I read a message from earlier saying ‘go to your pc’. I do just that and find a YouTube video open with the song ‘We’re in the money’. I message Mistress back to say I have no idea what that means and then the penny drops. I sign into my bank account and find my savings account empty. Now before you all gasp and wonder did Mistress take my entire life savings the easy answer is NO. I have been saving in that account to pay for next year’s sessions up-front. I had asked Mistress to help herself when she wanted it and she knows that the act of helping herself is very arousing to me. To give Mistress the power to help herself to what she wants is a massive turn on for me. It still makes me twitch a bit when I see the zero balance and know it was taken by someone who has more control over my bank account than me.
    I must admit if I wasn’t self-employed and just had a monthly salary I wouldn’t hesitate to pay that into an account that only Mistress had control over and then beg her for spending money. But sadly, that is something for the fantasy department.

    As a footnote I would like to confess that I have still been unable to complete the write for me task. Six attempts and counting

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Phone Pest

    This is the week of my first ever 5 hour session. I am of course really looking forward to it but inevitably nervous. I know that Mistress can play with my head, my body and my emotions. I really don’t know how I will cope with 5 hours’ worth of attention.

    At the end of last week Mistress had planted the seed of an idea in my head. By Sunday the inevitable had happened. The seed had not only germinated, but it had grown into a giant evil Triffid in my mind! The seed was the concept of an electric shock device attached to Mistresses property remotely controlled by her through the internet. The Triffid was the email that I subsequently sent her on the subject of how such a device could be used against me whilst alone in my workshop, before then progressing into many other foolish areas that I daren’t repeat again here. As of Tuesday, Mistress had not mentioned anything about it. I really don’t know if that means that she hasn’t yet had time to read it, has read it and consigned it to her ‘Taquins drivel’ folder or is considering its contents.

    And it was on Tuesday morning that I received one of the most exciting instructions from Mistress that I have ever received. It was ‘Today you must go for a 3 mile walk’. I gasped as I read it and Mistresses property went ballistic. To those of you who crave a morning instruction of ‘wrap 4 elastic bands tightly around you balls and beat them 100 times with freshly picked nettles’ or ‘put on your finest summer frock and walk up your local high street’ this might seem odd, lol! But to me this is the ultimate distance control. I had been instructed to do something very simple. There was absolutely no opportunity to do anything but complete the task as instructed. (It was to be recorded by the ‘Map my Walk’ app that Mistress has loaded on my phone). The task had been set by my Mistress as a kindness to help me to get fit. It was a task that was easy for Mistress to set and didn’t mean that I was using up too much of her valuable time. I knew that it was only the beginning and that Mistress would push me to achieve my fitness goals. I knew that Mistress would not let me falter as the cold wet winter days weakened my personal resolve. She was on my side.

    I set off for the horniest morning walk that I had ever experienced! Every step was being done for Mistress and each was a measure of her care for me as her slave. It was really quite blissful. Coincidentally Mousey sent me a ‘how are you’ email as I reached the half way mark. I replied and explained my morning. Within the next hour Mousey was also set some exercise tasks and within the next 24 hours Mistress had created and rolled out ‘Map my Slave’! This is an online tool created by Mistress within which she can set daily and weekly exercise tasks for her slaves

    On Wednesday Mistress made a quick (virtual) visit to workshop in the morning and told me that she would return later to ‘have some fun’ and that i should ‘be very scared’. Whilst Mistress never did come back that day it had the effect that Mistress desired. I was indeed scared all day and even considered going back into the house to do other stuff for the rest of the day.

    On Thursday Mistress decided to play with me. It left me confused and a little scared, just the way that she likes her slaves! I was working alone in my workshop at the time. It started with a ‘private number’ call to my mobile. I picked it up and answered it before I realised that it was probably an annoying spam call. The moment I answered it the call went dead. And then it rang again. I ignored it, and again, and again and again. All in quick succession. At this point I suspected that it was Mistress trying to wind me up. I also suspected that she was enjoying watching me through her spy cameras set up in my workshop. I put the phone to mute and carried on with my work. I could still hear the occasional ‘buzz’ as it vibrated to tell me of yet another call. I got on with my work as best I could whilst glancing across at my phone frequently .

    A moment later the main house phone rang. I have a handset in the workshop but normally leave it to Mrs Taquin to answer any calls in the house. It stopped after two rings and I knew that Mrs Taquin had indeed picked it up. A moment later the house phone rang again. Once again Mrs Taquin picked it up. And again, and again! Next time I was ready and picked it up myself using the handset in the workshop. It went dead immediately just like my mobile had done. I did ‘1471’ only to be told that it was a withheld number. Now I was sure that it must be Mistress. Why else would I be receiving such calls to my mobile and home number at the same time?

    Note to other slaves considering their desired level of control:

    Choose carefully. If you have a ‘no limits’ contract with Miss Deelight as I have then you should be aware that Mistress has balls the size of a testosterone crazed Bull! She will not flinch at making calls to your wife (not to expose you, what use is an exposed slave to Mistress? but to scare you), calling at your house, send you stuff in the post, or doing whatever else she decides is required to impose her will on you. Beware!

    I sent Mistress a WhatsApp telling her that I knew what was going on. The regular calls continued. I talked out loud to Mistress in my workshop suspecting that she was silently watching me. No one answered. I went inside the house to see how Mrs Taquin was coping. As I walked through the door the first thing she said was ‘why is this phone ringing every 30 seconds? Every time I pick it up it goes dead’. We discussed it for a couple of minutes during which time it rang twice! I suggested that it must be one of those automated call center’s that must be having a funny five minutes. Luckily, she went out in the car for about 10 minutes and so I went back to the workshop. The calls continued. I tried to ignore them. At one time both my mobile and the house phone were ringing at the same time. Mrs Taquin returned home just as the house phone rang once again. We had another discussion about it. I carried on with my work. The calls continued. I was worried that Mrs Taquin might be getting really annoyed by it and in the end, I cracked (as Mistress knew I would have to) and sent Mistress another WhatsApp asking her to stop.

    The calls continued for a few minutes and then I finally got the reply from Mistress that read ‘???’. I replied and explained that I was getting multiple nuisance calls and that Mrs Taquin was getting twitchy. Mistress replied that she was having a nice family afternoon and that it was nothing to do with her!!! At this point my stressed slave mind went into minor melt down. I apologised profusely to Mistress and wished her a happy afternoon with her family. She responded ‘I should think so to’. I had been told off and put in my place. I felt guilty. I stood in my workshop and wondered what the hell was going on. The phone continued to ring. But a bit less frequently. I tried to think things through. I concluded that, as it was happening on both of my phones, that it must be something to do with Mistress. Mistress then tweeted that she was having a lovely afternoon of R&R with her family. Like the weak-minded slave that I am, I believed her. I was so confused (or I believe the technical term is mind fucked!). I sought other explanations. Maybe it really was a dysfunctional call center that had both of my numbers. I even considered the possibility that Mousey had been instructed to make the call (sorry Mousey) in Mistresses absence. In the end the calls subsided.

    Eventually Mistress tweeted what fun that she was having winding both myself and Mousey up. Apparently if I had done 1471 on one of the calls I would have heard a number. If I had called that number I would have been transferred directly to Mousey. Now that would have been confusing and amusing in equal measure if we had worked out who we were each talking to.

    Once I realised that I had been mind-fucked by Mistress yet again her property went into overdrive. She really is one ballsy and frightening woman. And I love her for that.

    And then in a perfect example of the highs and lows of servitude I received a terrible text at the end of the evening. Mistress was unwell! This was terrible for two reasons. I felt really sorry for Mistress who had apparently picked up some violent sickness bug and I felt sorry for myself as it meant that my 5 hours session that was due to take place the following day would have to be postponed. How unfair for both of us!

    The following day was spent checking on Mistresses wellbeing and trying to rearrange my session and everything that had been planned around it. By late afternoon I had done just that and had heard that Mistress was feeling a little better. Mousey kindly checked in to see how I was also which was very kind. Mistress decided to ease her boredom by demanding to setup my new app controlled key safe. This she duly did and finished the process by telling me to lock the bon4 device that I had been wearing for some time with a steel padlock and to place the key into the new key safe. As I did both things I started to feel better. Even when Mistress is unwell she still thinks of her slaves and finds new ways to take them even deeper under her control.

    I should say, by the way, that as the week progressed I continued to carry out the walking task set by Mistress. I had been instructed to complete 3 x 3mile walks in my first week. This was actually a significant increase on what I had been doing for the previous year (I had got so lazy!) but was actually less than I could comfortably achieve. And so, like the smart arse lemming that I am, by the end of the week, I had smashed the target set. Instead of doing the 9 miles set I had actually done over 16 miles. This was of course a school boy error of the greatest magnitude.

    On Saturday I exchanged emails with Mousey to discover that she too had placed an order for an app controlled key safe. I look forward to hearing how Mistress decides to use it to make Mouseys life even more challenging.

    I asked Mistress if I could try to break into the key safe using the app located on my phone. She said yes, I found that it had been put under the control of Qustodio and that I was once again easily beaten by the techgoddess.

    I did some work on the mapmyslave spreadsheet to try to help Mistress. She thanked me for it and told me that I would now be required to help her with it each week. And then she set my new walking goals for next week. 5 x 4 mile walks! And 20 stomach crunches a day! My school boy error had come home to roost. Both goals set Mistresses property pulsing. The walking targets are definitely stretching and will help me a great deal. The mapmywalk app will ensure that I have no choice but to complete them. The real surprise was the stomach crunch target. When asking for Mistresses help with my weight and fitness I had deliberately not asked her for any other exercise targets apart from walking. The fact that she is now going to make me do other stuff as well has pushed me into a dribbling dither. I know it will do me good and I know that Mistress knows all about training and fitness having previously pushed herself to the limit. It appears that I have now been stripped of any say in what I will be required to do. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

    This morning I awoke to two communications from Mistress. One was a copy of an email invitation to an ‘invitation only’ xmas party at the HOD. And the other was a WhatsApp telling me that my attendance was mandatory. The first communication filled my mind with horror and the second sent Mistresses property ballistic inside its cage. Mistress knows me so well. She knows that I will find mingling with other slaves difficult (it is not that I am antisocial, honestly! It is just that I have only ever wanted to session with women present) but she also knows that I am at my most submissive and horniest when being told what to do.

    And then to illustrate this point further I have been told that I must complete this blog by 2pm today and to do so with my butt plug in place and wearing my lace panties. Mistress has also confirmed that I must do it in the garage in order that she can check my compliance. I am of course doing just that now, unsure of whether Mistress is reading this as I type it (can she do that? I really don’t know) or maybe she is watching me via the spy camera? All I do know is that I seem to be dribbling so much that I risk dehydration whilst feeling totally submissive and in love with my Mistress. What a nice Sunday it is. And I have a 5 hours session to look forward to in less than a week!

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Spending on Control

    Sunday was blog day as always. But today I was required to do something else. I was required to send Mistress an additional email with any thoughts and ideas I might have for my 5hr session at the end of the month. This is difficult! It is such a rare opportunity to suggest things for a session. I wanted to use it to suggest something new rather than just falling back onto some of the wonderful experiences that Mistress has treated me to previously. It was also an opportunity to suggest a couple of things that I had thought about but never dared to suggest before. In the end, I suggested a piece of equipment that I had not experienced before, but that Mistress seems particularly enthusiastic about currently, an activity that I had always enjoyed watching in my small array of fetish videos and weight loss management!

    I am aware that Mistress has helped other slaves to manage their weight and fitness and had for a long time wanted to ask her to help me. It is a big decision though. I know it will involve a pretty significant change in my diet and will also involve me doing a lot more exercise than I currently do. I also know that Mistress will ensure that I do what is necessary. There is no way out now.

    On Monday Mistress asked which device I had on. I told her which one and then heard no more on the subject until just before bedtime. Mistress sent me a text that just said ‘take your device off’. It is an unusual instruction and set my mind racing. Why? Was I going to be allowed an orgasm? If not what was the plan? You just never know with Mistress. But then I realised that there was one pretty fundamental problem with carrying out the instruction. The device was locked on with a steel padlock and Mistress hadn’t provided me the code to the key safe. I sent Mistress a text asking for the code, but went to bed shortly afterward without hearing back from her.

    Tuesday turned out to be a pretty momentous day for many reasons.

    Firstly, Mistress reminded me that it was the day that she was going to take over my new laptop. It always makes me feel scared and submissive when I watch Mistress lock down my pc, apply her own passwords, take over admin control and start to load on the software that she will use to restrict me.

    Then she instructed me to look at something called a Dreamlover 2000. I discovered that it is an electric shock device that has its electrodes placed inside a chastity device. The website is spectacularly frightening for the male species. It describes its products as a ‘male management system’. In its most expensive versions, it is totally mobile, app-controlled and can do things like sense if it has been removed without permission or even the angle of the wearer’s body. As an example of the potential power, it has, among many other things, something called Canine mode. I have copied and pasted a section of the website that explains what this is….

    The canine mode feature enforces quadrupedal locomotion. Pulses are delivered in quick succession when the receiver is not held horizontal (parallel to the ground) and facing downwards. In combination with a securely fastened waistband, the canine mode allows you to temporarily revoke upright locomotion rights with powerful psychological effect on the male being trained. On the Pro model, Canine mode is preceded by a non-configurable “silent command” to alert the wearer this mode is being entered. The wearer has approximately 3 seconds to assume the canine position before pulse delivery begins.

    I have to confess that the whole concept of such a technology being available to Mistress is a huge turn on. If anyone could use it to force total slave compliance then it is Mistress. I imagined its use whilst Mistress watched the effects whilst I was alone in my workshop. She would have so much fun! But then I looked at the price $1900 dollars!!! It seems that this particular devilish device will have to wait.

    And then Mistress started to talk about linking exercise targets (monitored by an app) with an internet controlled key-safe. The first impact of this was to make me take a deep breath. It meant that she had read my email concerning my next session (oh what have I done!) and that she was going to ensure that I did the necessary exercise to aid my weight loss (again, oh what have I done!!). The second impact was to wonder what Mistress could do with an internet controlled key-safe. I am still not sure.

    And then I had to go and meet Mistress to make my final payment for my submission to her for the whole of 2018. We met and I handed over the remaining £1000 that I owed together with 2 Viagra that she needed for a session the following day. But probably even more significant than this was the fact that I handed over my old laptop. It had died but then miraculously come back to life a few days later. Mistress had told me that she wanted to use it to see if she could break out of the lockdown control that she had put on it, without the use of her passwords. I’m sorry fellow TeamViewer slaves. If Mistress can’t break out of her own technological bonds, then neither will we. What I hadn’t realised though, until after I had handed it over, is that Mistress wants to use it to develop her PC and Network hacking skills. We are truly doomed.

    Before I left her Mistress unlocked my chastity device and told me to remove it. I still didn’t know why but did as I was instructed.

    It didn’t take long to find out. Following a quiet day on Wednesday I received a simple task from Mistress on Thursday morning. I was to edge on the hour every hour for the rest of the day. I was to report to her each successful edge and was reminded that there was to be no cumming!

    To be allowed to touch Mistresses property is indeed a rare treat. But to edge it continuously is both torturous and difficult to do. Knowing that you are not allowed to take yourself to a completed orgasm is really challenging. Past experience told me that there would be a real risk of edging too far and starting to cum. Even just a little cum appearing is forbidden and yet I knew that I had to edge properly. My solution was to tell Mistress that I would be doing it in my garage in a place where the spy camera could see me. I have no desire for Mistress to see me wank (I bet it isn’t her favorite activity either lol), I actually find it embarrassing. I did want to make sure that I didn’t have any accidents, however. The thought that she ‘could’ be watching was actually very effective. I edged 11 times altogether and didn’t cum once. I would like to say that it didn’t get to me too much, but I would be lying through my teeth. It had a spectacular effect on my desire to please! By the end of the day, I had bought Mistress a £80 dash cam, bought ‘myself’ a £170 wifi controlled key-safe as directed by Mistress and sent a £50 voucher to a Findom Goddess who specializes in Blackmail (with Mistresses permission of course). Not only that, I had twice asked Mistress if I would be allowed to complete my final edge at 10pm and take it through to a mind-blowing orgasm. And Mistress had twice ignored my request.

    On Friday my instruction was to lock myself back up this time with the Bon4m. The second I did this and had sent Mistress the picture her property started to dribble uncontrollably. Edging had really got to me the day before but being locked up again had just made it so much worse.

    Later on Friday my laptop screen went black and I thought that Mistress was on there making changes. I stood and watched for ages but nothing happened. I wondered if it had crashed. In the end, I gave the power button a press and the screen sprang to life. On it I saw the settings screen for my household broadband/wifi router. WTF! Mistress was doing something but I really had no idea what she was intent on doing. I watched for a moment and then decided to walk away. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stop her and actually didn’t want to know what it was she was doing. I was certain that I would find out soon enough. I went inside the house and tried to get on with another task. A couple of minutes later Mistress requested the Router master passcode. Meekly I sent it to her. During this time the fear was building up inside me. What if Mistress took over the home network? There are several of us who use it for work and for pleasure. What if she disabled it and made demands for its reinstatement? I love being totally at the mercy of Mistress and the whole experience made me even hornier than I had felt at any time the previous day. I sometimes wonder why I love Mistress most when I fear her most. I think it is the fact that, at those times, I am totally dependent on her to look after me and keep me safe. She has my life in her hands and I have no control.

    In the end, Mistress disclosed that she hadn’t completed whatever she had set out to do and so I breathed a sigh of relief
    Her property calmed down a few moments later.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Truly Devoted

    This week’s blog must start on Tuesday, as the preceding few days had been a glorious sunny bank holiday.

    At 7am on Tuesday morning I found myself parked outside an address given to me by Mistress waiting for her to arrive and let me into the property. I was there to lay a laminate floor that I had bought for Mistress several months earlier as part of her birthday present (another slave had bought the underlay, for which I am grateful). My car was full of all the tools that I thought I would need and I knew that I had a tough day’s work ahead of me.

    Mistress arrived soon after and let me into the property. We did a walk around of the job to be done in order that I could ask some questions and then Mistress left me to get on with it. To be trusted to do such a job and to look after her property is an honour. I do take care with any job that I do but I was particularly keen to make sure that I did this one to the best possible standard. Having never laid a laminate floor before it took a while to get going but once underway it became technically easier. But as the day wore on it became physically really, really hard. There is so much kneeling, measuring, standing, cutting, kneeling, fitting etc etc to be done. When the last piece went down at 8.00 pm I rolled over onto my back and lay on the floor and wondered how I would ever summon up the energy to clear up my stuff, load up my tools and drive home. I was exhausted! After about 5 minutes I did just that but instead of driving straight home I knew that I had to drive to meet Mistress to return her keys. On the way to our agreed meeting place I stopped in at Tesco to buy my dinner and noticed the first of a series of texts from Mistress. I clicked on it and beamed with pride as I saw that Mistress had thanked me personally for what I had done for her that day. I then went on to read a series of texts from Mistress that talked about how there were certain pets who she particularly valued for their commitment to her. I knew, that day, that I was being included in that group. It was so kind of Mistress to so publicly acknowledge us. And then better still, when I handed her the keys a few minutes later she handed me a very personal gift to thank me for what I do for her.

    As far as I am concerned there is nothing better than to be truly appreciated by someone you care for and respect. I was feeling quite emotional as I drove home.

    The following day Mistress instructed me to lock up using The Vice chastity device. I had been out of chastity since my session the previous week. Mistresses’ property had needed a bit of recovery time! Strangely for me I hadn’t missed being in chastity at all. Maybe my mind had been taken up with thoughts of bank holidays and floors. I did as instructed and sent the picture to Mistress.

    On Thurs Mistress was very generous indeed and sent me a photograph and a short video gif of her wearing a very sexy leather bra/top. In the video she squeezed and massaged her breasts in a way that had me dribbling in my cage. Being a gif it just repeated for as long as I watched it. I watched it for quite a long time! The image stayed with me for the rest of the day and then kept me awake that night. Mistress is a gorgeous young lady in all regards but I have to say that I have a special weakness for her magnificent breasts particularly when they are beautifully cupped in something sexy. Of course Mistress knows all of my weaknesses and capitalises on each one of them to control how I feel at any time. And that is probably her greatest power. Mistress controls my emotions. She can make me feel happy or sad, angry or elated, guilty or proud, in danger or safe, vanilla or in this case horny.

    And then on Saturday I sent Mistress my morning text to ask if I could be released from The Vice to make some alterations and to ask if I could be allowed to stay unlocked for a few days whilst I went abroad. Mistress very kindly agreed to my requests. And so I have a few days of freedom. I won’t abuse it. I wouldn’t dare! We also agreed my next session date and the fact that it now seemed likely that I would not be able to ‘use up’ all of the sessions that I had paid for to the year end. Those who follow my servitude will know that I have to pay for a full year in advance. It is just one of the many ways that Mistress ensures my loyalty! I had also effectively paid for some additional sessions as the year had progressed by asking for additional session time in lieu of payment when I had paid for things on Mistresses’ behalf. It is a nice problem to have. The solution that we have agreed is that my next session is going to be a 5 hour session. Now that is something to look forward to! And the remaining surplus session time paid for will be converted into intensified distance control to the end of the year. It was actually my suggestion. I certainly didn’t want to suggest rolling my surplus sessions into 2018 and I do love the way that Mistress can dominate me so effectively from afar. She can make it so exquisitely difficult and intense at times. Of course my fetish world is already controlled 24/7 by Mistress. But she has deployed tools and techniques that normally allow her to control my fetish world without having to waste too much time on me. Mistress is after all a very busy woman. The thought that Mistress will now devote some more time to tormenting me in whatever way she chooses fills me with joy and fear in equal measure.

    I felt what might have been the first example of Mistress tightening her grip last night when she sent me a copy of an email that she had received from Qustodio. It told her that I had been trying to access Uberkinky. It appears that ‘Mother Boss’, as she is known to Qustodio, is watching very closely.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Short Blog

    This will inevitably be a mercifully short blog as I am on a family holiday and Mistress is very busy. Neither of these things prevent daily contact thankfully. It really would be a huge gap in my life if I didn’t have the opportunity to communicate daily with Mistress. Mistress does tend to give me space to enjoy my family time which is kind of her. In truth I would love it if she continued to control my life whilst away, but Mistress knows best, it is important that I maintain balance in my life.

    This is difficult for me however. To be denied fetish control whilst away from home and also having all access to the fetish internet content blocked to me creates an uncomfortable void. I lasted until Monday before I ‘cracked’. I sent Mistress a message asking if it would be possible to pay her for access to Twitter whilst I was away. Mistress asked ‘how badly I wanted it’. ‘Very badly’ was my response. And then I suggested an amount of money. Mistress sent me a link to a YouTube clip. I tried to access it through my phone, only to be blocked by Qustodio. (YouTube used to be one of the sneaky ways for me to see fun stuff, but Mistress realised this and stopped that also). I sent Mistress a message telling her that I was blocked together with a laughing emoji. Mistress replied ‘you think it is funny?’ Mistress getting stern with me always makes me catch my breath and get hot under the collar. Today was no different and I started to dribble. ‘try again’ she said. This time when I clicked on the link it stayed open just long enough to see that it was a video that said ‘No’. I asked if I had offered enough, Mistress resent the YouTube ‘No’ link. I asked Mistress how much I needed to pay. Mistress read my message (WhatsApp allows you to see when messages are read) and ignored me. I went to bed that night not knowing if I had annoyed Mistress or whether she was just letting me suffer before extracting what she would consider a reasonable payment for my fetish Internet access.

    The next morning Mistress sent me a message that informed me that she was going to ‘let me stew’ without Twitter access along with a photo of her looking happy and radiant.

    I sometimes think that Mistress must be the worst Findom in the world! After all she had just turned down a payment for Twitter access. It made me consider the fact that Mistress never actually forces me to buy anything for her, or give her money (despite the fact that she so easily could). In all honesty I do find it exciting when Mistress proves to me that she can make me do whatever she decides that I should do, but then I remind myself of the thousands of pounds that I have already spent on my servitude to her. She is of course a brilliant Findom. It is just not her style to ‘take’ and anyway it would be wrong for me to be able to simply buy my way out of Mistresses control.

    Oh dear! I wrote the somewhat tongue in cheek paragraph above on Wednesday and awoke this morning (Thursday) to find a message from Mistress saying ‘I need Vista b4 Tuesday for 2 xx’.I fear that Mistress might have read this blog and reacted. I have been on to her amazon gift list and looked for ‘Vista’ but to no avail. Isn’t there a brand of television called a Vista? and Mistress wants 2 of them??!! Hopefully it is all a coincidence.. I will have to wait until I hear from her later.

    Silly Me. I have just exchanged messages with Mistress. Vista was an autocorrect error and should have said something else. Phew!

    The other thing to note in this brief blog is the fact that Mistress allowed me to send her an email to let her know what I might like to happen at my next (long) session. This is a rare treat that always ends up badly for me. I suggest stuff that is far more extreme than I could ever cope with. I really should know better. Thank goodness Mistress knows me well enough to use such an email as a prompt rather than a script!


    And then the final thing that happened was that I paid up for a further year of sessions taking my enforced servitude (sessions, distance control and chastity) to the end of Dec 2018! ‘Oh dear’ yet again.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Getting it Wrong, All Week.

    Getting it wrong, for most of the week.

    I thought I would write this brief catch up because as with all our blogs it gives Mistress an insight into what’s going on in our submissive minds.

    Since my last wonderful visit to Mistress, I have been floating on a wave of submissive joy. Mistress has allowed me Twitter access for the last 2 weeks. Although being Mistress she didn’t tell me, I found out in an email from Slave Taquin about a week later. So, I have been enjoying my Twitter access and as it turns out other adult content on my phone and have been catching up with all the blogs on Mistress’s website. Everything has been going swimmingly until I went away for a couple of days last week and as always turn everything off in my man cave/office.

    On my return, I stupidly decided to leave Mistress’s spy camera switched off. There was a genuine reason for this but I foolishly didn’t ask Mistress’s permission to do it. On Sunday (so now 2 days with the camera off) Mistress sends me a message telling me what I already knew that the camera was off. I switched it on about an hour later and informed Mistress why it had been off but this was after the event and not before. A tweet by Mistress made it abundantly clear this was unacceptable.

    The following day I sent Mistress my usual morning message apologising for the camera incident and Mistress was (as always) very understanding on the reasons why and was happy to let it pass this time. This is where something came over me. I don’t know if it was my wonderful feeling of submission or just plain stupidity but my reply was that I didn’t think she should let it pass. Now one thing I have learned (although not on this particular day) is never question Mistress or her decisions. I knew that Mistress had a busy day so didn’t expect a reply but what did dawn on me during the day was that it was a stupid thing to do. Later that day Mistress messaged me and said that she had considered my message during her busy day. I won’t go into the ins and outs but let’s just say the I should have just thanked Mistress for her leniency and not tell her what I should and shouldn’t be allowed to get away with. I have a punishment coming, what that is I have no idea but whatever it is it is duly deserved.
    I, as one of Mistress’s longest-serving pets, should know better. I should have asked permission in the first place and kept my mouth shut when I was granted leniency. Lesson learned.

    I contacted Slave Taquin because he had been doing a DIY job for Mistress on Tuesday (I’m sure you will read about it in his blog) and asked him if Mistress was spitting feathers over the incident. Luckily, she hadn’t although Mistress did point out to him that a punishment would be forthcoming and he also felt that it would be appropriate. He was also kind enough to send me the following bullet points from past email conversations between us….

    Do I wish Mistress was less understanding? Sometimes yes, her tweet certainly made me gulp even though I knew it was ok. (This was regarding the camera being turned off)
    I do sometimes wish for a situation that I am pleading with all my heart and still get a cursory and dismissive ‘No’ from Mistress!
    Blackmail really turns me on so I fully understand your mixed feelings about being in deep poo!
    I do crave the harshness and fear and then have a wobble about it!!

    I was very amused that Taquin also kindly said he would happily tweet them just in case Mistress may have missed them as she has access to both our respective email accounts. We also discussed the fact that whilst are interests at the HOD are at different ends of the fetish spectrum, our distance control interests, however, are very similar.
    My messages from Mistress for the rest of the Tuesday were slightly lighter but I know she won’t forget about this.

    On Wednesday, I didn’t sleep very well and awoke late and gingerly messaged Mistress to wish her a nice day. Mistress breezily replied to my message saying that she was enjoying a relaxed working day after very busy few days. Mistress was in-fact in a very good mood and was overjoyed by the DIY job Taquin had done for her the day previously. I also thanked Mistress for the set of tweets she had posted the night before thanking her pets for doing so much for her. I am honoured to be one of Mistress’s pets and truly adore her and will do anything within my abilities to help her out.

    Later in the day around lunchtime, I am sitting on the sofa when I hear a voice which makes me think I am starting to imagine things. Luckily, I don’t have voices in my head, oh no much worse than that. I discover that Mistress can talk to me through the security camera. It was a joy to chat with a very cheery Mistress albeit with satellite delay and once again caught me completely off guard. Mistress ended by saying she would be installing Grammarly on my pc later to ensure my future blogs would be error free. I am always grateful that Mistress spends her valuable time adding (or removing) things from my pc and phone to help her control me and in return make me feel more controlled, horny and submissive to her.
    Around an hour later I was on my pc when suddenly Mistress bursts in. We have a nice chat via notepad and then Mistress starts doing what she needs to do. Unusually Mistress allows me to watch her in action albeit with the mouse and keyboard locked. Unfortunately, Grammarly turns out to be a no go. Mistress informs me she will continue to check it her end and all errors will be noted. The conversation then turns to reinstalling Qustodio. Mistress installed this back in January when I wasn’t in a very submissive state. This time I was very keen for Mistress to install it. This is because by having Qustodio installed it takes less time for Mistress (who only has to sign into one account) to allow or deny her pets various accesses at her particular whim. If I had Qustodio installed on my pc I would have had fetish access for the last 2 weeks. Because Windows family was my parental control I didn’t have any because it’s extra faf for Mistress. By having Qustodio I was also allowed the Firefox browser back. So far apart from the almost immediate removal of adult access, everything is working well.

    On Thursday, I message Mistress to wish her a nice day. Mistress informs me she has a very long busy day. This turns out to be not too busy to remove all my adult internet access. At least I still have the joy of Twitter. I thank Mistress for my brief pc access and expect to hear nothing more from her today. Very kindly later in the day Mistress sent me a lovely picture of herself in a very fetching leather bra and trousers. This led me to reply that it was very lovely of her to share such a picture although it was not helping my current tease-able submissive state. I felt horny as hell for the rest of the day added to by Mistress then sending me a gif of her fondling her leather bra encased Deelights.
    It reminded me of another conversation that I had with Slave Taquin about our HOD interests. He hates pain where I really enjoy it, nothing turns me on more than being in severe pain and agony. However, I have a great admiration that he can endure a session of being teased by Mistress and her fabulous womanly gifts. I try my hardest to see Mistress as a giver of pain and punishment and not focus too much on how very hot, sexy and attractive she is.

    Friday arrives and I know Mistress has got another working hat on today so I wish her a very successful day and once again make a security camera-related mistake. I inform Mistress that it will be off this evening due to someone staying. Twice in one week, I have failed and Mistress’s reply left in no doubt of that. I apologised, rewrote and resent the message again. The outcome as I write this is awaited……
    After a wait of several hours. I am pleased to announce that my much more subservient, begging for permission message was duly replied too. The short message that Mistress sent not only gave me permission but also left me feeling suitably put in my place. I thanked Mistress for her reply and although it wasn’t my intention to get it so wrong her message today left me in no doubt how much I love being her slave.
    This has also reminded me how much I need and craves Mistress in my life but it needs to be on her terms, not mine!!

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – The Vice

    Following on from Slave Taquins chastity escape I decided that he needed a new device.  The vice is what I chose.  This device will prove far more restrictive and will definitely put an end to Taquin Houdini’s escape actions.

    I awoke on Monday morning to discover an instruction sent to me the night before. It was to order a new Chastity device called ‘The Vice’. Whilst I had managed to make changes to my Uberkinky device to make it escape proof the same could not be said for the Bon4. It appeared that Mistress wanted to ensure that I had an effective back up device. Hence my instruction.

    I clicked on the link provided by Mistress and started to read about The Vice. I could see its immediate appeal for Mistress. It claims to be virtually escape proof through the provision of an anti pullout section. For me it has a couple of other features that appeal. Firstly that it is a plastic device. In a world where metal detectors are more widely used I have become concerned about wearing my metal device to events and public venues. A plastic device overcomes this and means that I don’t have to ask to be allowed out of it when flying etc. The other feature that appeals to me is the fact that it uses a hinged back ring instead of my current solid one. The smaller the back ring that can be worn the more secure the device is. I do have big balls (Mistress Real said so in my wonderful double domme session some time ago and so it must be true!) but I have managed to squeeze them into the 45mm solid stainless steel ring on the Uberkinky device that I am currently locked into. (Goodness knows if it will ever come off again!). The hinged back ring should ensure that I can use a smaller back ring still.

    I found that it could be ordered from Amazon and so I went ahead and did so. I also exchanged emails with the chap in America who has developed this device on the subject of a smaller cage. I might have big balls but the same can’t be said for Mistresses property. The smaller cage should be ready in time for xmas. Maybe my Mistress could buy it for me (with my money of course) as a present. Lol.
    I thanked Mistress for her help in maintaining my enforced chastity and she kindly replied ‘Anything to keep you firmly in your place’.
    Having spent a bit of time online investigating the vice I opened up the last remaining doorway to fetish fun on the Internet, YouTube. Mistress has blocked everything else. The thing with YouTube is that it keeps suggesting lots of other similar videos. And so I continued to surf all sorts of fun stuff; that was until 11pm when Mistress turned off my access!

    On Tuesday morning I quickly looked through Twitter before I used up my daily allowance. My Twitter daily allowance seems to be totally random and therefore I have no idea if I have the luxury to start searching for new stuff (as I like to do). Therefore I have to concentrate on the most important stuff. Mistress stuff. I sent my morning text and commented on the fact that I could see from Twitter that she had a new slave upon whom it appeared that she had begun to work her magic (relieving his bank account of £350 in the process). Mistress replied that she had dug up lots of information on him already ‘and so now there’s already no escape for him’.

    A moment later Mistress turned her attention on me and said ‘you have no idea what I’ve done to your pc’. I didn’t reply immediately. Instead I scurried off to determine what had become of my PC. I turned it on. The tell tale TeamViewer session dialogue didn’t appear. I went to file manager and checked the latest files accessed. I checked program manager but didn’t see any new programs. I looked at the desktop but couldn’t see any deletions or additions there. Flummoxed I told Mistress that she was correct; I had absolutely no idea what she had done. All I got back was a wink.

    On Wednesday I emailed the previous weeks blog.
    And then vanilla life took over until now (Sunday evening). This morning Mistress very kindly sent me two of her wonderful custom videos. And still I haven’t watched or listened to them. Mistress also instructed me to order a camera for my workshop (in order that she can watch me whenever she chooses to). I have of course done it and the camera is on its way. But I haven’t really considered the implications yet. I am going to stop now as I am feeling rather vanilla and depressing myself! I think I am just tired and need to get an early night. I am rambling. Sorry.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Simple Things

    It really doesn’t take much for me to switch my subs on and off and Taquin is no exception.  I can kill their arousal and then resurrect it in milliseconds if I want to.  Of course I prefer to make them suffer for a few days wondering what is coming next and then BOOM a simple sentence, phrase, image carefully delivered will make their wilted willies rise like phoenix from the flames!

    On Sunday Mistress decided to have a totally kink free day. I sent my blog in to Mistress before getting on with a busy family day. On Monday Mistress kindly thanked me for the dressing table that I had ordered for her from her Amazon wish list the previous week. By Tuesday I found myself feeling like I really needed a bit of ‘Mistress time’. I always enjoy any attention that Mistress gives me but sometimes I need it more than others. I was particularly pleased therefore that evening when Mistress paid me a visit on my workshop laptop. We had a nice catch up on what we had each been doing before Mistress declared that she had to go.

    Wednesday was the big day for me this week. And all of it happened on Mistresses ‘invitation only’ slaves Facebook group. First of all Mistress posted a copy of her latest YouTube video for all of her slaves to enjoy. And it really got to me. It is all about how Mistress is able to dominate her slaves remotely using technology. Whether that be by taking over there PC’s or phones or even installing cameras in their homes. At one point in the video Mistress describes how she first started to develop her skills in this area. I like to think that she is referring to the small part I played in this when she tells the tale. Most often I helped by being her victim so terribly tormented by her new found skills!

    What followed next was a series of exchanges on Facebook between Mistress and several of her slaves. It felt as if Mistress had cast her mackerel lines in the fetish pool and several of us had been hooked. Mistress then ‘played’ us on the end of her line for the rest of the day. At one point Mistress posted a lovely picture of herself with the line ‘you are all putty in my hands’. And she was right; I was a dribbling mess by the end of it. For the first time since Mistress had made me put it on again the Bon4 chastity device was feeling particularly tight. My balls had swollen significantly by the end of the day and I had taken on the ‘John Wayne’ gait that is forced upon me at such times.

    On Thursday another slave joined the Facebook group which was nice. We really are a very diverse and happy group of slaves. We post updates on how we feel or responses to Mistresses provocations and sometimes even make helpful suggestions about what might be done to make our slaves lives even more fulfilling. For instance Mousey suggested that a spy cam should be fitted in my workshop! I spent some time looking for some software I had heard of that Mistress could put on Mousey’s computer. When I find what I am looking for I will suggest it to her. As Mistress put it ‘it is so nice to see you all playing so well together’.

    At the end of the week Mistress gave me permission to see Princess for an hour before my next session. This had all gone slightly wrong when I last attempted a wrestling session before my ‘proper’ session at the HOD. It will be fun to try again. But the most important thing will be to see Mistress again. It seems so long since I was last at her mercy at the HOD. Less than a week to go…

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  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Horny, Desperate and Needy

    Slave Sissy Mouse has not escaped my torment this week either and as a result has felt compelled to share his current state of mind (and body) with me and with all of you! *grins!*

    Horny, desperate and needy.

    Since my last visit to Mistress and the ‘Bloody bath brush challenge’ I have been in the above state. Never before have I found myself in this situation. Yes, I have looked forward to my next visit and yes, I have been turned on by activities but this is a whole new experience.
    After our last session, Mistress even phoned me to insist that if I got any adverse effects from our session (because it was so intense) to contact her immediately. It has had the opposite effect and left me in this wonderful deep submissive state of almost endless arousal. I think this has come about because I have released things to Mistress deep within me at our January session and accepted that I am indeed weak and ruled by Mistress’s pathetic cock. I have read many accounts of Slave Taquin where Mistress has got him in such a state that he was easily and completely manipulated by her. Mistress has now through her brilliance got me into this equally coercive, malleable state. In-fact if you have read recent submissions by Slave Taquin you will see that Mistress has almost cloned us. Me in this horny dribbling state and Taquin delving into the wonderful world of financial domination.

    My current state has also led me to conclude that my belief long-term denial was for me is not the case and probably led to my many well documented ups and downs last year. Yes, denial is a part of any submissive’s journey because you need the control but you also need hope. Hope that good behaviour and adherence to the rules will result in a mind-blowing orgasm. I would very much like to wear a chastity device between sessions but that doesn’t work for me so I have something slightly less uncomfortable but no less effective, Hypnotic mental chastity. This has 2 effects, firstly it puts that little voice in my head that says ‘you will disappoint Mistress if you relieve yourself’ and it won’t be as enjoyable as being teased for hours by Mistress and secondly thanks to the hypnosis it’s not possible for me to keep an erection. I can get almost painfully hard but try to do anything with it and it withers almost immediately. Couple this with my deep submissive state and I have no hope of pleasuring myself. Job well done Mistress.

    I think the other event that has got me in this state is the video Mistress took of her edging me through a nappy whilst sucking on a dummy. This is something that has got my (consensual) blackmail juices flowing because I don’t want anyone to see that video. Nothing Mistress has on me has the leverage possibilities that this holds and ensures I tow the line, I don’t want to be even threatened with its use.

    As for the needy side, it is well documented by Mistress that she always has the best interests of her slaves at heart but! if they get needy then they get put in their place and possibly punished. This has led me to be very quiet and keep my head down because as stated above I don’t want to lose hope of an orgasm. However, Mistress last night messaged me to say that an outside event on the day of our next session will have the final say on whether I get an orgasm or not. How Deelightfully cruel.

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  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Special Care

    I pride myself on the care I offer my Slaves.  For me it’s not all about not giving a shit, I do this as a job because it is a natural part of me.  Another part of me is having a caring nature, so whilst I can certainly hurt and humiliate my pets, I will also nurture them too (and if they get too needy then I will hurt them again!).  With respect to my long-term submissives, this level of care is magnified because it is what it is; a long-term relationship.   Sure, some of them have partners and wives but I am undoubtedly the woman who is on their mind the most and with that comes a responsibility to their emotional needs. Taquin has had a few things to deal with recently and so I thought that aside from giving him necessary space, I would also provide just enough interaction to remain in his thoughts and keep him smiling through it where possible.  My long-term subs look after me, and vice versa.

    Some people would feel it appropriate to call this weeks blog a ‘micro’ blog. Other less generous people would just call it mercifully short!

    I think I finally came down following my last session with Mistress almost 2 weeks ago. It wasn’t a big bump, it was just that I had so much on my mind and so many vanilla tasks to get done.

    Mistress was as always really understanding. In fact there were times this week where she actually provided more care and support than family members who I would have expected to be there for me. This has resulted in a week where Mistress has not imposed herself on me as she might normally. She has allowed me to get on with things as she knows that I must.

    Monday set the pattern for the week really. It came in the form of a morning text from Mistress that said ‘you can have your daily dribble by visiting the HODFBG. 😉’ (House Of Deelight FaceBook Group in case you were wondering).

    This was the start of a week full of a wonderful assortment of Facebook posts and photos of Mistress. The first was with Mistress wrapped snugly in a dressing gown. The gown apparently belonged to her boyfriend with whom she had just enjoyed fabulous sex!

    One of the most memorable for me was probably the least glamorous. Mistress had returned home following a long and productive day at the HOD. She was in quite vanilla attire, she was wearing glasses and looking in a matter of fact way into the camera lens (or more precisely into my soul). She accompanied the picture with the simple statement that she was ‘planning her next attack’. For me this is such a powerful image. It is a picture of the naturally beautiful and powerful woman who controls much of my life and occupies so many of my thoughts. It was a picture of the woman who I serve 24/7. Mistress is so much more than a dominatrix who I visit once a month.

    Towards the end of the week I think that Mistress decided that I needed a bit of perking up (she was right) and so she sent me a video of a session where she had strapped me to the cross and then teased, caressed and edged me for more than an hour before making me agree to pay for her new phone! It was the combination of edging and the threat of telling my wife and the rest of the world all about me that seemed to have done the trick! It is such a hot video.

    And then yesterday Mistress allowed me access to Twitter and to her Website. It was such fun to be able to see all that had been going on and to read the blogs from Mistresses other slaves.

    As I sit here ready to press send I am feeling good. Mistress has already set her regular slaves a task to complete today. I do enjoy being given tasks by Mistress. As I do them I am always reminded of who is in charge and that I have no choice but to do whatever Mistress tells me. And that makes me very hot under the collar!

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  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Mental Manipulation

    Due to having suffered a really nasty bout of flu, I am waaaaaaaaay behind in updating my blog with my slave’s journals so I am just going to post them in succession in order to catch up properly and for you to all have your dose of ‘I wish it was me’.

    Mistress really got to me at the start of this week. She had well and truly started the process when she had declared that there was going to be a new Facebook group for her distance control slaves. I had been instructed to set myself up with an appropriate identity and as soon as I had done so had received a ‘friends’ invitation from Mistress. I eagerly accepted the invitation and became a small part of diverse group of slaves and sissy’s. It seems quite appropriate that Mistress should have an easy way to communicate with (torment) her regular pets.

    Mistress quickly put this new medium to work by telling us on Sunday morning that she was still in her bed and posting on her Facebook page a picture of her heavenly body in Calvin Klein figure hugging night wear. It was supported by a message to ensure that we all got our blogs in to her that morning. I have to confess to feeling just a little bit smug at that point as I had already sent mine (this is not how I feel as I write this as I know that I will need to send Mistress a text in a moment begging for a little more time today!). Later that day Mistress posted a note thanking us for our blogs together with a picture of her stocking tops and beautifully proportioned bottom.

    I do wonder sometimes if Mistress has studied the art of brainwashing, manipulation and mind control. As time has gone on I have found that she has progressively taken over my fetish life and made me totally reliant on her. Not only has she blocked me from accessing the ‘external’ fetish world except for the occasional rare glimpse provided as a reward for good behaviour but Mistress has at the same time replaced the void created with her own presence. Mistress is my fetish world now. The real skill involved here is that she has groomed me to the point that I know what she is doing to me and yet I love every step of my entrapment.

    Midweek, Mistress asked me if I was still reciting my Mantra morning and night. I answered honestly that I was not. I know some might see this as either a naive and foolish confession or a desire to provoke some horrible punishment. It is neither. I subscribe to the belief that a distance control slave must always maintain 100% honesty with Mistress. Otherwise the whole thing breaks down. I had somehow got out of the habit of reciting my Mantra some weeks earlier. I told Mistress that I would ‘get back into the habit’ from that point on. And that is what I have done. The worry is that Mistress has asked the question in the first place (and then not reacted to my confession). I know that Mistress is very good at keeping records of her slaves’ achievements and misdemeanours to be referred to at some unknown point in the future.

    Today though, Mistress seemed to be in a good mood. So much so that when I found that I could access her website on my phone (the escapologist in me will always try) and told her, Mistress kindly gave me her permission to look at its content. And how I enjoyed it! I love reading the blogs. I enjoy reading the introductions that Mistress writes to my own and I shudder when I read of the torments that Mistress inflicts on others. Although I know that I would not enjoy many of those torments being inflicted on me I do find the fact that Mistress does them to others an illustration of what she could so easily inflict on me if I stepped out of line. And that understanding of the very thin line that I walk is in itself exciting.

    On Monday I discovered that I had missed a visit by Mistress to my PC. She had left two things for me on my desktop. The first was an image for me to use as my Facebook identity and the second was a set of pictures from a previous session. The session in question was the one where I was strapped to the whipping bench before Mistress had inserted a large anal hook and attached it to the ceiling above me. Mistress described it as a fun session that ‘we must do again sometime’. My instant and knee jerk response was to tell her that the fun was only on her side of the equation and that I would be happy never to repeat it! I know that my response to Mistress is totally irrelevant however. The joy of my relationship with Mistress is that I know that she will do whatever the hell she likes to me and I will either enjoy it or grin (wince!) and bear it.

    On Wednesday Mistress asked me to make her a cock and ball torture device (sorry chaps)! I am reasonably practical and there is something particularly submissive involved in making something for Mistress that will give her even more power and an opportunity to exert it. When I said yes she quickly taunted me with the idea that she would enjoy using it on me. The other benefit from my point of view was that it provided me with a legitimate reason to visit sites such as Uberkinky and Fetters to research the best approach.

    The following day Mistress asked if I was securely locked. I instantly responded with ‘yes Mistress’ to which Mistress responded equally quickly with ‘proof’? As I took the necessary picture to prove that her property was indeed still locked it grew within its prison and started to dribble with the realisation that it was being kept captive by an ever present Mistress. I thanked Mistress for keeping me secured.

    On Friday Mistress sent me a teasing picture of her hand pulling down a part of her top to expose a little of her gorgeous pale breast. This teasing did of course start to get me going, but nowhere near as much as the picture that followed. It showed the next stage where her hand had pulled her top down far enough to expose her beautiful nipple. But now the hand was ‘giving me the finger’ and Mistress had annotated the picture with ‘#unobtainable’. Oh how that image and word has got to me since then! I do of course know that she is totally, 100% out of my league and that I can never hope to be more than a friendly and subservient slave to Mistress, it doesn’t stop me from being just a little bit besotted by her. Despite (and probably because) of her cruel taunts it will never stop me from fantasising.

    That evening I found myself working late on a vanilla project for Mistress. This one involved a length of rope. I sent Mistress a progress picture to which she replied ‘oh the many uses for rope! Followed by ‘good boy’. Both of which sent me to bed in pleasant discomfort.

    It was on Saturday morning that I had got up in the early hours for a pee and taken the opportunity to check Facebook. It appeared that I had missed a ‘goodnight message’ from Mistress sent to her distance control slaves the previous evening with a picture of her in a black corset. I didn’t go back to sleep!

    There are only a few days now until I am with Mistress again for two hours of total pleasure. (This is my description not hers!) Mistress just sent me emoji’s of tears of laughter and purple devils when I used this description to her in a text. Despite this I just can’t wait….

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – The Power of Lace

    After Slave Taquin had enjoyed a relaxing break over Christmas, I was determined to start this year off as I mean to go on… with teasingly good torture. And it doesn’t take much to tease my slave; just a carefully placed image here and there is all it takes to make him weak, begging for my attention……

    The beginning of the week started as so many others had with me submitting my blog to Mistress. It was a very long one as it included my return to a submissive state following a relaxation of control over the Christmas period. Mistress had backed me into an inescapable corner with Writeforme. And then it had told the story of the day Mistress had tied me up and left me in the back of her car whilst she enjoyed lunch with my vanilla lady friend. I knew that Mistress had a very busy Sunday ahead of her and therefore told her that I didn’t expect to hear from her that day.

    But hear from her I did. In her own special way! Mistress sent me one of the sexiest images I have ever received. It was a close up of the top of her thigh. Her skirt was hitched up just high enough to show the suspender strap running across a couple of inches of soft, pale skin with a lacy black stocking top attached to it. I should say at this point that I am not ‘a full frontal nude’ sort of chap. But a tantalising glimpse of forbidden pleasures made unreachable through a thin layer of lace can send me quickly insane. And this picture did precisely that. I told Mistress of the effect that it had on me. She replied ‘I wouldn’t have sent it on the off chance now would I’. Mistress knows quite precisely what she does to me.

    I thought about the image, and the fact that Mistress knew how to get to me so easily, for the rest of the day. By the end of it I knew that I had to see Mistress again, and soon. It was only a week since that fateful day tied up on the back seat of her car. I had enjoyed the experience immensely and indeed the orgasm that she had provided me at the end of it. But the lack of intensity and time in the company of Mistress (‘in the company of Mistress’ can mean so many things when you are at the HOD!) had just left me desperate for some one to one time with her. The tantalising glimpse of a stocking top had just pushed me over the edge.

    The following morning I sent Mistress a text and asked her if she would be able to see me for an additional session. (That would be in addition to the 12 that she has already taken the money for to cover 2017). She said she was unsure if she would be able to do it but would get back to me. I resisted the huge temptation to chase for a response. That was until 8.30pm when I couldn’t take it any longer. Mistress replied that she had been so busy over the previous few days that she was exhausted. Even a power house Mistress needs a rest occasionally. We agreed that my additional session would just have to wait.

    Later in the day Mistress set me a task. Her text read as follows: ‘Your task is to write a poem about “the soft delicate pale thigh flesh at the stocking top”. I will accept a story too. The length is only limited by your imagination.’

    Mistress knows that I get so carried away by tasks like this. I decided that a story was called for and started to consider possible plots. But I really struggled. I wanted to come up with something that would be interesting and maybe unpredictable for Mistress. But I found myself constantly returning to familiar ground. I found myself with two options. Either a story based around a TeamViewer encounter or alternatively one based around a woman avenging a wrong perpetrated on her friend through restraint, torture and sodomy! I started to write a TeamViewer story, but it was so dry and predictable, and so I started on the Avenging Angel story. Although it was probably equally predictable it did at least allow me to build in some edge and intensity. I found it uncomfortably easy to write. It’s creation followed a personally predictable course for me. I wrote about stuff that fulfilled many of my fantasies about the natural dominance and power of women but in doing so I knew that I was describing things that I would hate to have done to me. That didn’t stop me from dribbling like mad as each line flowed into the next.
    It was on Thursday that I realised that I might have another opportunity to visit the HOD and therefore suggested a date later in the month. Mistress very kindly agreed to seeing me and I found myself booked in for a ‘13th’ session in 2017, and we weren’t even half way through January yet. The thought of spending 2 hours with (at the mercy of) Mistress excited me greatly. So much so that I could think of little else during a busy day in London.

    Mistress ensured that she stayed very much front of mind by asking me what my current level of access to kink was. I replied honestly (I know that any attempt to lie would end up badly for me) and told Mistress what sites I could and couldn’t access. And then I sent Mistress the story that I had written. Later in the day Mistress asked me if I had enjoyed writing it, to which I had to answer, yes.

    On Friday Mistress told me to set myself up on an app called Circle Pay and to make a test payment on it. I did as instructed and told Mistress that I was ready. 5 minutes later I received a picture of Mistress holding a chastity device and a set of keys together with a request for £5. I accepted the request and £5 was sent to Mistress. It was that easy. Another easy way to submit to my Mistress had been established. I was in deeper still! A couple of minutes later I received a notification from Circle Pay that £5 had been paid to my account by Mistress together with a nice text from Mistress thanking me for helping her to set it up. It will, I am sure, provide a useful and discrete way to pay Mistress in the future.

    It was later that same day when working in my workshop that I turned around and noticed that the screen on my PC had gone black. I walked towards it and then noticed that the blue camera light was on. Mistress had logged in through TeamViewer, disabled my keyboard, black screened me and was watching! I smiled feebly as the surge of adrenaline knotted my stomach. I waited to see if anything was going to happen. I didn’t even know if Mistress was at her computer screen at the other end. She might just as easily have turned on the camera and gone to make herself a cup of coffee. It really is most unnerving. After a couple of moments I decided to point the PC towards where I was working and get on with my jobs. It wasn’t long though before I heard Mistresses voice coming from the PC speaker. I rushed over to it, nervous that my Wife might walk into the workshop at that moment, and plugged in the headphones. This transfers all sound to them, and I put them into my ears. (I do also have a pair of Bluetooth headphones that I sometimes link to the PC for such occasions, but this takes a couple of minutes and I need keyboard access to be able to do it). Mistress started to talk to me and I felt myself begin to melt into the moment. She sounded upbeat and mischievous as she informed me that I was to listen to a song. The next thing I knew I was listening to The Pussycat Dolls rendition of ‘Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me’. I just nodded like a besotted fool. Mistress then unlocked my screen and opened up the Notes screen and I enjoyed a few minutes of light hearted banter. It ended with Mistress calling me ‘Bitch’ as I had to go in to cook the family dinner. I headed back inside dribbling gently.

    And then yesterday I received an instruction to set myself up on Facebook as Taquin. I did as instructed and received an invitation to become friends with Mistress. It seems that she wants a way of communicating with (Tormenting!) her ever growing band of lucky pets. I accepted her invitation and by the time I went to bed had been rewarded with her first post. It was of two pictures of her. They were both stunning, but it was the second one that stayed in my mind, and kept me awake, for much of last night. In it Mistress is sat wearing a tight black latex dress stretched beautifully over her lovely curves looking down at her adoring slave. Oh so powerful!

  • A Very Fortunate Slave – Chapter 14

    Chastity Mistress and Expert, South Wales

    My Slave, Pupp has been absent from the House of Deelight for personal reasons however this doesn’t mean that he has been absent from his servitude.  My pupp has remained in contact, on request throughout his time away and I have continued to nurture and gently control him.


    With a resurgent pupp comes the ability to return to active service. One of pupp’s duties is to provide a blog, here is chastity report number 14 from: “A Very Fortunate Slave – Slave Pupp’s Chastity blog”.

    “Miss Deelight has continued to control and captivate her pupp without needing to be in the same parish, county or country as this toy. For pupp has been indisposed for some weeks and therefore unable to kneel in person before Miss. pupp may have been out of sight but in no sense did this mean that pupp was out of mind. pupp’s progress was monitored and a toy’s appetite piqued through the sassy, saucy and seminal (!) social media posts that Miss Deelight deigned to make public.

    Miss Deelight’s expertise in distance control is famed and whilst pupp’s leash was extended it was still firmly grasped. One of the various pleasures of serving Miss is that her orders are crystal clear. Miss always makes sure that pupp maintains regular contact. Miss then asks pertinent questions to obtain any further information that she requires, providing encouragement and further inspiring her pupp.

    Meanwhile Miss Deelight’s programme is followed: hence a prettily pantied pupp finds itself using specified toiletries only, whilst researching wide-ranging subjects for any number of reasons. For example pupp has researched topics as diverse as French weather patterns, European currency movements and German-made chastity devices. Now and again such knowledge may be proffered to Miss Deelight for her entertainment.

    So, with the advent of December and Christmas almost present, pupp wishes readers well and looks forward to a busy couple of months. Miss has guaranteed that tests are ahead for pupp, with ever greater control being inescapable. pupp woofs and lopes towards the future, collar very much in place.

    Here’s a quotation: “False names are fun,” said Calo. “Call me Beefwit Smallcock.”
    Thank you Miss Deelight x”

    To my Owner, Miss Deelight,
    With respectful love,
    Your pupp Xx

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Another MindFuck

    Tech-Domme, Online and Distance Domination – Mistress Will Control You from Anywhere!

    Another episode of mind-fuckery for my dear devoted pet this week, in the simple form of allowing him some freedom but not telling him it was available.  I am so good at what I do; bending the minds of my slaves!


    On Sunday afternoon Mistress took the opportunity to wind me up by text about my access to Twitter. I had pointed out in my blog that she had blocked my hope of catching up on the entire goings on from the last few weeks by actually removing the twitter app from my phone. I knew that this would result in my total Twitter exile. I should say to anyone reading this that I do not wish to be cut off from the wonders of Twitter. Just the opposite in fact. I love Twitter and really enjoy being a part of it when I am allowed to. But I only get real pleasure from it these days if Mistress has told me that I am allowed to look at it. Mistress knows that it gets me horny when she allows me to look at it and then I just end up a tormented wreck in the device. Mind you she also knows it makes me horny when she denies me access! The important thing is that it is Mistress who decides, not me.

    Monday was quite quiet but the whole Twitter thing was still going around in my mind. As is frequently the case at times like this I wrote a small piece on the subject and sent it to Mistress. I told her that I did not want a reply (I didn’t want her to think that I was attention seeking) and that she was welcome to blog it if she thought it was worthy or to just file it in the ‘Taquins Drivel’ folder. I am guessing it ended up in the latter!

    On Tuesday Mistress started to ask questions about the apps on my phone. Questions like this always make me a nervous slave. I didn’t think that I had done anything wrong and responded as required. I heard no more on that subject and so hope that I answered correctly. Shortly after however I realised that Mistress had increased further her control of my phone. It was a tweak to one of the settings that resulted in even less opportunity to escape Mistresses grip. The other thing that I noticed on Tuesday was a hardening in the tone of the texts from Mistress. The most obvious example of this was when she ended one text with an ‘x’ and then instantly sent another one telling me that she hadn’t meant to sign off in that way. But it wasn’t just this. Mistress was sounding strict and stern. Whilst I don’t ever like feeling that I have made Mistress angry (that just causes me anguish) I do find ‘strict and stern’ exciting and so Mistresses property had responded accordingly.

    On Wednesday Mistress spent some time telling me about how much she was looking forward to taking the money from my bank account for my next 12 month contract. I know that there is no going back on the decision now, but it still makes my heart pound knowing what I am committing myself to. The rest of the day was pretty quiet. Mistress did ask at one point how much I was looking forward to my wrestling session with Princess. I thought about it, got hot under the collar, and replied accordingly.

    On Thursday I found myself at the receiving end of one of Mistresses mindfucks! By the time I went to bed I was feeling rather grumpy and sorry for myself. My problem is that I know that Mistress is doing it to me but still find it impossible to prevent her from getting into my head and playing with my emotions. It was all to do with PC access. Mistress has had me so completely locked down recently that I have had no access to fun sites through either my phone or PC. I don’t even have any fun files on my PC anymore since Mistress took them and locked them away on her own PC. I have been so bored! There used to be so many times during the day when I could take a moment or two to see what had been going on in fetish land. Now all I can look at is the news app. And that is no fun at all!* Imagine how I felt then when Mistress texted me on Thursday evening and inquired whether I had enjoyed the last 48 hours of PC freedom. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by this. I had noticed that my PC time hadn’t been limited over the previous couple of days, but the time allowance does change all the time and so I hadn’t been that surprised by that. What I hadn’t realised was that Mistress had completely lifted parental controls. I could have looked at anything I liked! Mistress wanted to know why I hadn’t taken the opportunity to do so. I wont lie, the question made me feel quite irate! I replied honestly that the only way that I could have known that the controls had been removed would have been if I had tried to access Twitter or other fun sites. I know that if I did try to do that Mistress would see it on my weekly Microsoft parental controls report and that I feared that I would end up on the whipping bench at the HOD as a result! In other words I am far too much of a coward to try without permission. I also like to think that I am being a good slave and might be rewarded for my good behaviour. Now I found that I was being penalised for it. I felt quite indignant! By the end of the text exchange Mistress had established that it was all my fault. She told me that as soon as I had realised that I had extended PC usage I should have asked her if the restrictions had been lifted. In addition to this I should have thanked her for the additional PC time in the first place. As a result of both of my mistakes Mistress declared that ‘the ship has sailed, and you missed the boat’. I opened up my PC and turned it on, only to find my access blocked once again. And that is why I went to bed that night feeling rather grumpy and not in the slightest bit horny. I know, I am pathetic! Mistress was just playing with me. It was just a tiny thing that she used to wind me up a bit. But she is so good at it. Inevitably though my fetish mind began to process what had happened whilst I slept. By 3am it had concluded that I was being controlled by a tough and uncompromising Mistress who enjoys being able to twist my mind. My grumpiness had begun to slip away only to be replaced by inevitable horniness. I know that I need ‘tough and uncompromising’ as much as I need ‘kind and considerate’.

    The following morning I sent Mistress my morning text to own up to the fact that my little bit of anguish the night before was now inevitable turning into horniness. Her response was to torment me just a little bit more. She asked if I had noticed the files she had placed on my PC desktop. I opened my PC to discover that I had no access at all that day. It was terrible to know that Mistress had put something on the PC for me to look at without then being able to look at them. I texted her again and told her that sometimes she made me feel like stamping my feet like a petulant child! Her response was to tell me that ‘Tantrums don’t work with Mummy’.

    I had to wait until my PC unlocked at 6am on Saturday morning (I was sat watching the clock from 5.45 waiting for 6am to arrive) before I was able to discover what Mistress had put on my desktop for me. And it was worth getting up early for. Mistress had left me two pictures of herself. In both she looked divine and super sexy. I appreciate it when Mistress gives me a gift such as this. I sent her a text of thanks.

    It has been a relatively quiet week this week. But I do now check to see if I am able to access Twitter or MissDeelight.com each day (you will probably read in a future blog of my beating for doing so!) The text that made me most thoughtful was when Mistress told me that ‘you know that you love it’ referring to her winding me up on Thursday. I thought about it and realised it was true. Even when Mistress is torturing my body or my mind I love her attention. I need to feel the ups and the downs and the depth of emotions that she can trigger within me. Mistress makes me feel alive.

    * It seems that the news app on my phone can be fun after all! It has a search facility that I started to play with on Saturday. I tried several words before striking gold with ‘dominatrix’. It seems that the tabloids love running pieces about Mistresses. I am sure I will tire of the ‘shocking revelations’ before too long (that’s if Mistress gives me the opportunity after reading this) but it has provided me with a little light stimulation in the meantime.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Teasing Torment

    Chastity and Control Mistress, South Wales

    This edition was sent to me on the 20th November, so Yes! I am behind in my blogs but fear not.. your dose of Taquin’s torment is here lol. I had spent the week leading up to this blog submission (I do love that my slaves ‘submit’ their journals as well as everything else) teasing Taquin with words.  Yes it really is that easy for me to wind up my pets and turn them into dribbling wrecks, with simple text messages.  I know them all so well!

    (if the image below appears at the wrong orientation, it’s because I am composing this post at 4am and I really can’t be bothered to flip it around!)


    On Monday and during a short text exchange referring to my session still more than 2 weeks away Mistress used the word ‘domination’ referring to what she does. And it really got to me. Amongst other things it made me think back 22 years!

    My first experience with a dominatrix had been confusing and terrifying in equal measure. It was ‘pre-internet’ as far as most of us were concerned. The World Wide Web had come into existence in 1989 and it wasn’t really until the end of the 90’s that I discovered fetish content online for the first time. The reality was that back in 1994 I didn’t really have a clue what would work for me except that I knew that I wanted to be tied up by a pretty woman. One day I had found myself looking in the small ads of a local paper and saw an advertisement for a massage that ‘you were bound to enjoy’. There were no other clues as to what was on offer but I plucked up the courage and phoned the number on the ad. I remember that first call vividly. I didn’t know what to say or what to ask but somehow through my mumbles I had made an appointment. (Today I still find it hard to actually talk about my fetish even to Mistress. Writing is fine; talking face to face is still a hurdle for me. Back then I found it almost impossible). Later that same day I entered the premises of the dominatrix concerned and was met by the young lady who I had spoken to on the phone. She ushered me into a room with a bondage cross and a massage table. The walls were covered in the implements of her trade, most of which I had absolutely no idea of what their function might be. She instructed me to strip and wait whilst she went to get ready. After what seemed an age she returned, sat on the massage table alongside me and asked what I wanted. My response whispered very quietly was to say that I wanted to be dominated. I know now that was a useless answer! The problem was that I had not a clue what I meant by it, and therefore it was impossible for her to have any idea of what to do with me. She asked if I wanted to be made to crawl around on all fours on the floor. I said no. She asked a couple more questions and still I could give her no useful guidance. The only thing that I knew that I wanted was to be tied up. Again very quietly and self-consciously I told her that I would like my hands tied behind my back. In the end she had given up on trying to extract information from me, ignored my one request for bondage, strapped me to the cross and gave me my first experience of edging and denial. And it was wonderful. It was so tormenting to be brought so close to orgasm by a sexy young lady but to find that she would only allow me to cum when she was happy to do so. She had seemed to take great pleasure in her power over me, and my obvious and desperate need for her to take me over the edge. In that moment I had felt totally dominated and had for the first time begun to understand myself.

    It was many years after that when I next plucked up the courage to visit a dominatrix. Like many of us I suspect that all that I dared to do was to fantasise about such things (now with the benefit of the internet) but it took a series of events to come together and the realisation that you really do ‘only live once’ to bring me to the point today when, on Monday some 22 years later, I received a text from my Mistress telling me that she dominates me. And this is exactly what Mistress does to me of course. She dominates me overtly through physical restraints, punishment or the use of enforced chastity but most of the time through her devastating use of words to control my thoughts and emotions. I am not sure however that she has ever actually said it to me before. There was such a powerful self-confidence in that one text. And how it got to me! I thought about it all of that afternoon and night. I desperately wanted to text Mistress and tell her how I felt but I know that sometimes I text too much and so I went to bed that night to suffer in silence.

    On Tuesday morning, following a night of wonderful torment constrained as I was by the device Mistress makes me wear, I cracked and sent Mistress a long morning text about how she had made me feel. Often in the past this would have been enough for Mistress to know that she had got to me and she would let me simmer gently for the rest of the day. Today was not going to be one of those days! Today she responded by telling me that she had already planned an amazing session for me in December. Mistresses’ property dribbled wildly at the thought of what Mistress might have planned.

    This was followed by the following text:

    ‘I will be dressed to kill and you will die inside because I am out of your league. Mistress.’

    Those few words reminded me how tantalizingly close Mistress sometimes seems to be and yet how totally out of reach she really is. I realised that my balls were swollen and blue. Each time I read the text I felt the adrenaline run through my veins as the truth of the statement hit home. The effect of Mistress piling on the pressure was for me to crave even more attention. Again I resisted the urge to text and tried to work whilst the last text went round and round in my mind.

    Then later in the day she asked me what access I currently had on my PC and phone. Mistress currently has both devices firmly locked down. I have no opportunity to view Twitter, MissDeelight.com or any traditional fetish sites. Mistress knows that I can’t help myself but try to break her hold on me hence her question. In actual fact there was very little wriggle room on my part. My only access seemed to be totally vanilla such as WhatsApp, Gmail etc although I did own up to the fact that there was some mixed wrestling content available to me. At the end of my response I asked for access to Twitter (which Mistress ignored!) and for a picture of Mistress ‘dressed to kill’. In the state that I was in I really felt the need to be able to see my Mistress. Her response made me crumble! Mistress sent me a short video of herself dressed in body hugging black PVC and boots. She ensured that the camera captured all of her curves as I heard her voice laughing at my desperation. As the video came to an end Mistress looked me straight in the eye with a mocking smile and said ‘twitch, twitch’. And that is exactly what her property did endlessly for the rest of the day. Tuesday was one hell of a day for me!

    On Wednesday morning I found myself awake at 4am straining in the confines of the device once again. I dozed through a state of intense horniness until 5.30am before getting up and having a shower. I had not calmed down much by the time I sent Mistress my morning text. Her reply was a set of emoticons that told me of her pleasure at what she had done to me. Her next text didn’t help me much either. Mistress informed me that she would be taking my payment for a further 12 months servitude to her directly from my bank account using TeamViewer to access my PC ‘while you sit hopelessly watching with your input disabled’.

    Thursday & Friday were quiet whilst Mistress dealt with other things in her life. On Friday I asked Mistress if she would be kind enough to allow me to pay for her to treat herself to something over the weekend. Sometimes I worry that she doesn’t spend enough time thinking about herself. I was very pleased therefore that she allowed me to pay for her to have a manicure and pedicure. Hopefully it made her smile.

    Yesterday morning Mistress enquired how her property was but also how it was coping with the device. I told Mistress that her property had relaxed following it period of intense teasing at the beginning of the week. In the past any period of sustained teasing would have led to a little soreness around the device. I was pleased to be able to report to Mistress that this had not happened for some time. It has taken me a long time to get to this point. I have tried different devices during this time and having settled on my current one (Uberkinky stainless steel spiral) and having made a few alterations to its fit over time it seems that I can wear it for as long as Mistress requires me to. This is a somewhat frightening admission to make to Mistress but ultimately I am pleased. I always felt like a bit of a failure having to tell Mistress that she had teased me too much and that I needed to remove my device to recover.

    At lunch time I decided to ask Mistress if she would allow me to access Twitter. She had blocked me from it on both my PC and Phone some weeks earlier and I really wanted to know what had been going on. What I do know is that asking Mistress too frequently just annoys her and leads to an extension of my exile. I think I had only asked once over the previous few weeks and so hoped that I might not get into too much trouble by asking again. I sent a very polite request to Mistress and held my breath. After a few minutes Mistress replied:
    ‘I’ll think about it’ – this was better than ‘no’ which had been the answer last time. 15 minutes went by until her next text:
    ‘On your phone?’ – I answered ‘yes please’ and waited. 20 minutes went by until her next action:
    Mistress hid most of my apps on my phone (including the Twitter that didn’t work even when it was showing). I sent her a sad emoticon. She said:
    ‘Why’ – I explained. She replied:
    ‘Oh dear, Lol.’ – My apps reappeared and Mistress sent her next text:
    ‘Unlocked, make the most of it you don’t have long’ – I thanked her and opened up Twitter on my phone. What did Mistress mean by ‘you don’t have long’? Hours? Minutes? Seconds? I checked messages, I checked notifications, I thought about starting to look at all of the posts of the last few weeks but realised that that was probable unrealistic in the time that Mistress had allowed me. I went straight to Mistresses’ page and saw that she had posted a video. In it she gave viewers a short tour of the HOD and talked of the fact that she had a newbie coming to see her shortly. She oozed power and control as she talked of how she was going to start his training. And then the screen froze. That was it! My phone pinged to tell me a text had arrived:
    ‘That’s long enough!’ – It had probably been no more than two minutes. I sent Mistress a text and thanked her for allowing me just a brief look at Twitter and told her that I had been desperate to see what had been going on.

    The following paragraph was omitted from my first blog submission this morning. Having sent it to Mistress a sense of guilt gnawed away at me. Mistress was probably totally aware of the impact of her actions but I know that honesty is fundamental to an effective distance control relationship and so I have now added it……

    Although Mistress had only allowed me two minutes of access to Twitter I knew that it was going to provide me with much entertainment. The reason for this is that I knew that in that brief moment of access it would have downloaded everything that had happened during my exile. Although I was now blocked from gathering new tweets I knew that I would be able to tap on the Twitter app and spend as much time as I liked trawling through all the fun stuff that had been going on recently. I slid my finger across the screen to move to the screen where all of the fun apps were grouped, and they were hidden! I felt my Mistress squeezing my balls harder still. So much for the hours of fun that I thought she had provided me. It really was only two minutes followed now by an even more complete exile.

    At this point Mistresses’ property lost all self-control once again. Mistress texted twice more:
    ‘And now I’ve added to your desperation’ and ‘my property won’t be quite so relaxed now’.
    Mistress as always was correct. I went to bed last night with swollen balls and awoke at 3am with her property attempting once again to escape its cage.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Weeks 62 and 63

    Distance control journal weeks 62 and 63

    Mistress has continued to be kind and understanding, granting me further time away from distance control but as you will read later that does not mean she has let her grip go completely.

    Week 62

    I start my week as always by messaging Mistress my weight and to wish her a nice day. Even though I am on a break there are still rules to follow and after my well documented ups and downs this year I am following them to the letter. I hear nothing from Mistress today and don’t until Tuesday because it is Halloween on the Monday and I know this is a big thing for Mistress and assumed she would be busy anyway. One of the great joys of getting over myself is not getting angst ridden waiting for a reply. When Mistress did reply, she did indeed have a busy few days and ended the message with 3 smiling devil emoji’s and simply ‘soon be Friday’. I replied that I hoped she had an enjoyable Halloween and that whatever was coming my way on Friday I was most looking forward to it and confirmed that marks would be ok. The reply was a short “That’s good to know” and 2 more smiling devils.

    The following day I messaged Mistress to confirm the Christmas present she had chosen had arrived safely. Mistress was happy and excited to hear that but also enquired if I had checked to make sure they were ok. I hadn’t at that time but I confirmed later that they were fine and fit for a Goddess.

    On Thursday and ahead of our session the next day Mistress messaged me to tell me not to tweet about my visit the following day (it all makes sense now) I confirmed that I wouldn’t but I don’t normally anyway. It turned out that would not be the case anyway because Mistress had once again blocked me from twitter and her website and had reinstalled my pc time restrictions albeit very generous at this point.

    Friday arrives and I message Mistress to confirm our session at 12 noon and that I have my usual offerings to bring. I had no idea what the session would bring but my reply from Mistress including 15 smiling devil emoji’s meant this was going to be one of those days. I now get mega nervous before a session especially after the mild public humiliation a few weeks ago. The morning drags on as usual and eventually I leave with plenty of time to allow for hold ups and arrive nice and early and wait nervously for the clock to tick around.

    The actual session is subject to a separate write up but let’s just say it was beyond anything I could have imagined and over a week later I am still very grateful to Mistress for arranging it. As you can imagine if you have read my session write up I left a few hours later slightly dazed with a sore bum and a big smile on my face.

    Mistress very kindly messaged me later in the evening to check how I was feeling and to tell me that she had enjoyed herself immensely (the laughter coming from downstairs after the big reveal gave it away slightly) so it was another win win session.

    Week 63

    Once again I start my week reporting my weight (which was still the same at 15st 8) and to wish Mistress and her evil genius mind a nice Sunday and that I discovered with great joy that twitter was still working on my phone. Mistress replied that even the scales are dominating me because they kept flashing the 7lb figure up. Mistress also kindly enquired if I had any sub drop after our very intense session? Which I was pleased to report that I had not. Mistress was very kind to check most days that I had not suffered any drop and I was pleased to report that my recent sessions had brought me back to a lovely level of complete submission.

    This week also heralded the return of my pc time restrictions. Mistress informed me of this by sending me a message with the following emoji’s an egg timer, a spanner and a key. This summed it up perfectly. Mistress had also removed twitter from my phone and I now spent the rest of the week checking it every day but it’s gone and when it returns only Mistress knows. This week also saw the arrival of a new laptop and as I was setting it up I got carried away and not only looked on twitter but liked one of Mistress’s tweets which was Mistress looking fabulous in her new shiny catsuit. I knew this was a stupid thing to do because I was banned from twitter and the inevitable message from Mistress enquiring where was I accessing twitter from has led to me handing over my new laptop for Mistress to put her controls on it. This of course is most correct because there is no point having access to things you are denied because you won’t get the joy of them when they are returned to you.

    I was also amused at the time limits Mistress gave me and on what days. I don’t use my pc much on a Saturday and this was the day Mistress gave me the most time. I do love how her evil mind works. I have so far used up 2 day’s time allocation writing this and let’s be honest there isn’t that much in it. I am going to have to allocate and plan my time better when my life calms down and my journals fatten up a bit.

    Another thing that has made me shake my head is the weekly report of my pc usage that Mistress gets and I get a copy and it now shows the websites that Mistress has blocked and there is a button that can unblock them. Of course, only Mistress can operate this and it’s just one more thing to tease me with.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Making Plans

    On Sunday morning I found myself exchanging a few texts with Mistress, which is always a pleasure. It was at about 10 o’clock that she told me she was actually still in bed and was texting from there. This put an image into my mind that was frankly most exciting. I couldn’t help myself but think of how wonderful it would be to be tied up alongside her in bed. So close, so intimate and yet totally so totally unattainable. Mistress had instructed me to lock myself into the Bon4m the previous day and I found the increased weight and more restrictive shape just added to the inevitable torment of the moment.

    Later in the day Mistress instructed me to research a lady wrestler she was aware of from her internet presence. This was very kind of her as she knows that I would like to revisit an enjoyable kink experienced in my past. Mistress also knew that she had instructed me previously to contact a young lady wrestler who is based in South Wales (who I will call Princess for the purposes of this blog), but had not managed to establish contact at that point. I had heard of the wrestler that Mistress was now telling me to do some research on before as she is quite active in the wrestling scene. I quickly found her website and learnt as much of her as I could, and reported back to Mistress. I told Mistress what I had found out and confirmed that a wrestling session with her would be great fun but that I felt it could not work because she was based in London. I have always hoped that anything like this would conclude with me being under the control of Mistress. I would love it to happen as an integral part of a session or if this were not possible as something that I did immediately before attending Mistress at the HOD. I am sure that I had done exactly as Mistress had intended I should. The research had got me very hot under the collar and I had exposed still more of my fetish secrets as a result.

    On Monday morning I received the instruction to remove the Bon4m, check that all was well with Mistresses property and lock myself up again using the more comfortable Uberkinky device. This time I was to lock myself with the metal padlock that Mistress had sent me home with, open and ready to be applied, following my session the previous week. Its spare key was already locked inside the key safe that Mistress had the code for. I did as instructed and sent Mistress a picture as proof. ‘That’s it then’ I thought to myself. I suspected that the lock would not be removed until my next session in four weeks time. Or so I thought…

    It was only 3 hours later that I realised that I had a problem. My problem was that I knew that the following day I had to go to a local Magistrates court. I wasn’t up in front of the magistrate! but someone close to me was. It was a day that I had been dreading for some weeks, but it was only on that Monday afternoon that I started to think about the logistics of the following day. I have never been to a court before and really didn’t know what to expect but the thought crossed my mind that they might have metal detectors. I did a Google search and realised that they did. Disaster! The last thing I needed was to have to explain my stainless steel device to a security guard. I knew that I only had one option. I sent Mistress a text and asked if I could have the code to the key safe. I knew two things in doing so. Firstly I knew that she would provide it as this was a genuine and exceptional situation. But secondly I knew that she would be angry at my lack of forethought. Her response was to send me a short but direct text. All it said was: ‘you didn’t think of that BEFORE you locked yourself up’ Followed by another text with the code. I apologised profusely and unlocked myself. Later that evening I received a text from Mistress that was a screen shot from Twitter (which I had not seen due to my Twitter exile) of a nice tweet from one of her followers congratulating her on my servitude. I recognised it for what it was. Mistress knew that I would be worrying about the day to come and wanted to lift my spirits. Mistress can sometimes be so very cruel, but just occasionally she can be so very thoughtful and kind.

    Tuesday was indeed a very difficult day. It was the rare sort of day when all thoughts of kink and fetish are put to one side. It was around lunch time that I received a text from Mistress that just said ‘thinking of you’. And I really appreciated it. It does make a difference when you are reminded that you are not alone with the traumas of everyday life. I didn’t arrive home until late that afternoon. It had not been a happy day but the outcome had been as good as could have been hoped for and I was relieved that it was over. Now I just wanted to put it behind me. Luckily for me my fetish life came to my rescue. Although Mistress had blocked all PC and phone access to Twitter and the fetish internet I do occasionally see the first few words of Twitter notifications flash across my phone’s screen. That evening I saw that Princess had responded to my Twitter message requesting a wrestling session in advance of my next session at the HOD.

    I sent Mistress a text and asked her if she would allow me a little internet access that evening in order to confirm details. What followed that evening and the following morning was a series on introductory communications between myself and Princess. I discovered that she had been out of the country for a little while and had not had the opportunity to attend to Twitter or her emails in her absence. I also discovered that she was a pleasure to communicate with. She was not at all fazed by my disclosure of my servitude to Miss Deelight or by request that I would like to wrestle wearing nothing but my chastity device. Being something of a fan of CFNM I told her that I would not expect her to do likewise. (I am pretty certain that was never an option anyway). By Wednesday morning everything had been agreed and I sent Mistress a text to tell her the good news and to let her know that my spirits had been lifted following the traumas of the previous day. Her reply was to ask if Princess had my e-mail and text details. I knew full well what this meant. The moment that I responded to Mistress and told her that we were indeed able to communicate outside of the Twitter messaging system all fetish access for me was removed once again!

    On Thursday Mistress asked me how much I was looking forward to the December session. Thoughts of it swirled around in my head, and therefore Mistresses property, all day and all night.

    I woke on Friday morning feeling particularly horny. I had woken several times in the early hours feeling very similar and had had an uncomfortable night because of it. The teasing by Mistress the day before had, as always, lodged in my mind to be replayed over and over in the early hours of the morning. I grabbed a cup of coffee and opened my PC in order to find out what access Mistress was going to allow me that day. I entered the password that Mistress had set up for me on my ‘guest’ account. (Mistress took full control of my PC using TeamViewer a long time ago and has taken it over as ‘Administrator’. I guess I am just the leaseholder these days and Mistress has taken over the freehold and made herself my landlord). Within moments I was looking at the parental controls screen which informed me that I would have to wait until 6am the following day to use it. I felt Mistress gripping my balls and squeezing hard. I sent her a text and told her how I felt. Her response was to send me an emoticon of a clenched fist!

    My torment eased during the afternoon as we realised that we were going to have to change the date of my December session. It wasn’t too big a deal but did mean I needed to amend my plans at home and find another date that worked for Princess also. Therefore I moved into an organisational mind-set rather than a fetish one.

    This still wasn’t resolved by the time I went to bed and so I ended up having a pretty relaxed night on Friday night. It wasn’t until getting up for a pee at 3am on Sunday morning that I saw a reply from Princess to agree the revised date for my wrestling experience in advance of my HOD session. It was a nice note telling me not to worry about having to make the change. I went back to bed and failed to get back to sleep due to the thoughts circulating in my little slave brain. In a text exchange the previous day Mistress had told me that my December session was going to be ‘immense’. All I have to do now is to survive the Mistress controller coaster until then. It is easier said than done!

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – A New Kink

    Slave Taquin has been exploring a potential new fetish avenue this week.  It isn’t something I offer so I have instructed my slave to do some research….

    I am struggling to write this blog this week. This is partly because I am away from home again with limited opportunity to type but also because I have been given rare access to the twitter and the internet and all I really want to do is to drive myself insane by spending time on that!
    I will break away from convention and tell you of all the things that have happened this week but not necessarily in the right order.
    The week for me has centred around one area. I often find myself enthused by one particular aspect of this Fetish world for a period of time. The joy of my fetish world is that there seem to be a multitude of different things that get me going. Sometimes new and sometimes revisited. This week has been all about revisiting something that I used to enjoy very much, Mixed Wrestling. And before you all go scurrying off to see if Miss Deelight has added a whole new section to the specialities offered on her website, the answer is no! Mistress has not started to wrestle us chaps. She has far more effective and devastating ways of keeping us under control. But she has decided to use my love of mixed wrestling to torment me. Mistress knows that before I met her I used to enjoy being physically overpowered, pinned and made to submit by a young lady. This week she has proven once again what a generous and understanding Mistress she is. She has given me permission to contact a young lady who enjoys wrestling chaps like me, who is based in Cardiff, in order that I might see her for an hour before my session with Mistress commences. It is of course on the basis that wrestling is all that happens and Mistress has insisted that I will have to do it whilst still locked in the chastity device.
    Therefore on Wednesday I sat down to compose an email to a young lady who I had never written to before. I am always nervous about doing such a thing. Not for myself but for her. Mistress had told me that I was to let her know that I would be locked up whilst wrestling. This meant that I would have to disclose my ‘slave’ status. I feared that I risked shocking or scaring the young lady concerned. This led me to writing a long email of explanation and asking if she would be willing to see me. Despite my nervousness I also found writing an e mail like this, that forced me to confess my need to be dominated, to be such a submissive thing to have to do. It excited me greatly!
    I added Mistress to the distribution and pressed ‘send’. A few minutes passed before I received a message from Mistress. She berated me for making the young lady read such a long e mail and informed me that I was to send her a gift token as a compensation. I of course did exactly as I was instructed! I didn’t receive a response from the young lady concerned and started to fret that I had either upset her or maybe I had been using a redundant e mail address. I really wanted to be allowed onto Twitter to message her directly, but Mistress ignored or denied every request that I made.
    One day I even received an e mail notification of a tweet that Mistress had made. It asked her followers whether or not I should be allowed Twitter access. I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to the 11 followers who said yes. It was very kind of you, but unfortunately it still only represented 42% of the followers who responded, and so my exile continued.
    I was so desperate to be allowed access that, at one point, I sent Mistress a text suggesting that I would like to try to break free from her control of my phone. Her response was straightforward. It was a gif of a character being hit by lightning and a reference that she would go and find a cattle prod. Needless to say I made no attempt to access Twitter without permission.
    On Friday Mistress did allow me onto her website and Twitter, but didn’t tell me! It was getting towards the end of the day before I received a text from Mistress that asked me if I had been enjoying my freedom. It was only at that point that I realised what I had been missing all day. I had a late night that night and went to bed a dribbling mess.
    I awoke on the Saturday morning to start writing this blog, and as I explained at the beginning, found myself dipping into twitter far too often! Before I knew what had happened I was an hour late! I sent my morning text to Mistress and rushed upstairs to shower and get dressed. Within 5 minutes I received a text from an angry Mistress! My morning text to her had been far too ‘matter of fact’ and not in the slightest bit submissive. I re-read what I had sent and realised that she was indeed correct. In my rush I had forgotten my true position in this relationship. I apologised and grovelled, several times. Mistress ignored me. I started to worry, a lot. In the end I sent Mistress a text and begged her not to punish me for my lack of submission. Mistress had got me just where she wanted me once again.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Her Toy

    Slave Taquin, as with all my slaves and pets, is but a toy for my amusement.  I shall pick it up and play with it then put it down as I see fit.  In this edition you will see that I very much played with it this week!


    On Sunday I submitted my blog and Mistress very kindly told me that she had enjoyed reading it.
    Monday was a day full of contrasts. I should be used to them by now but I wear my fetish heart on my sleeve when it comes to being a slave to Miss Deelight. Having had permission to access Twitter and missdeelight.com the previous week (and knowing that technically speaking other sites had been open to me for all of that time) I plucked up the courage to ask Mistress if I was allowed to look wider than the two sites for which permission had been granted. In my morning text I asked if I was allowed to venture further into sites such as fetlife, adultwork and xhamster. After a little while Mistress responded that she was going to treat me as if I was a child of hers and allow me access to my gadgets as she was going to be far too busy with other things this week. But she also gave me an instruction. I was to send her links to anything that was of particular interest to me. This really did get me thinking and of course dribbling. I still remember the time, very early on in my servitude to Miss Deelight, when she accused me of trying to top from the bottom and punished me accordingly! Whilst she had already extracted from me plenty of information that told her all that she needed to know about my fetish desires it was going to be a very rare treat to be allowed to proactively send her links to things that really got me going. I was very much aware that I was booked to spend two and a half hours with Mistress at the HOD at the end of the week and wondered if she was after ideas for that session. The other angle to this newfound freedom was that, since Mistress had taken control of my PC and started getting reports of my browsing and Google search activity I had stopped searching for stuff in the way that I had previously. Again I was worried that Mistress might think that I was using it as a deliberate way of telling her what I wanted to happen to me, which didn’t seem right (particularly if it was concerning things that I suspected that she really wasn’t in to). Today I decided was going to be different. And so my day went really well until about lunchtime. As Bargain Hunt came to its normal exciting conclusion I received a text from Mistress that pushed me off the cliff and started me tumbling down my very own pit of despair once again. It said two things. Firstly that we would not be able to session at the HOD on Friday but secondly that instead of this I was to meet Mistress in a public car park after which I was to take her to lunch at an Italian restaurant. Mistress had to be back at the car park promptly afterwards as she had other commitments. The fact that we wouldn’t be able to session at the HOD was really disappointing, but these things happen. The replacement plan however filled me with abject horror. I re-read the text from Mistress and realised that it had within it the following phrase ‘this still counts as a session because I am not going to make it easy for you’. Without droning on about it I can confirm that I find anything to do with fetish really difficult outside of home or the HOD. It is not just about being made to make of a fool of myself. I even find things like being made to edge in toilet cubicles (trains and planes being two such examples) quite horrifying. It is another example of me being silly but just knowing that there are people stood close by or probably waiting for me to finish is horrible. But in particular I fear public humiliation (and for me humiliation means doing or being seen to be doing anything out of the ordinary). I had no idea what Mistress had planned for me but the possibility that it might include any amount of performance or public humiliation sent me into a panic. This came only the day after I had read the account of the humiliation that Mistress had inflicted on Sissy Mouse on the streets of Newport. Mistress sent me another text and told me that she knew that I was stood just looking at my screen. And she was right. After a couple of minutes of hesitation I sent a text to Mistress confirming that I understood the revised arrangements and looked forward to seeing her on Friday. I signed it ‘Scared Taquin’ and got on with my day. But as the day progressed I got more and more panicked by the thoughts of what was going to happen. Of course I had not been told what that would be but knew from experience that if Mistress told me that she ‘was not going to make it easy for me’ then something terrible was going to befall me. In all honesty I had a mini melt down over the whole thing and started sending texts to Mistress. She of course was having none of it. The most reassuring thing that she told me was to trust her. And I do. But still the demons played in my mind. In the end I declared that I wanted to accept the fact that not attending my session with Mistress on the Friday would result in it being cancelled altogether and the monies already paid for it would be forfeit. I was that scared! And no, Mistress didn’t let me get away with that either. In the end she used her powers of persuasion to ensure that I agreed to go ahead. I went to bed that night quite unhappy. I was disappointed. I was disappointed that the session at the HOD had been cancelled, I was disappointed that I had reacted in the way that I had and I was disappointed that when Mistress had told me to trust her that I had still wavered. It was that last point that upset me the most. Mistress has always looked after me. Amongst our communications earlier in the day Mistress had sent me a GIF. It was of a pretty young lady driving a car and looking across at her passenger and saying ‘trust me’. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words and it is true. I did have a pretty sleepless night wrestling with the conflict between the fear of what Mistress might subject me to fighting with my steadfast knowledge that I could trust Mistress.
    I awoke the following morning feeling a little better. I sent my morning text to Mistress and made no reference to the communications of the day before. She replied likewise. Later that morning Mistress kindly sent me a picture of herself wearing black lingerie in preparation for her session with a newbie that day. She looked fantastically sexy! By mid afternoon I had got over my melt down. I certainly wouldn’t say that all worry had disappeared but I knew that I was going to be safe in the hands of my Mistress. I sent her a text and told her that I was ok now and apologised for my melt down of the day before. Knowing how vulnerable that I was going to be but also knowing that I was now willing to fully submit and trust Mistresses judgement unequivocally lifted a huge weight from my shoulders.
    Over the next couple of days I found myself looking forward to my lunch with Mistress more and more.
    On Wednesday we exchanged texts and I asked Mistress if I could be allowed to send her the links to the things that had particularly interested me during my rare period of free internet access. There were three main themes to them, and each one, if of interest to Mistress, would probably lead to my deeper submission. But that is the nature of being a submissive chap with a wonderfully dominant Mistress. I do love it when Mistress makes me hang myself like this. I was becoming more and more horny in advance of our Friday meeting. This was made all the more intense on Thursday when I realised that Mistress had taken control of my PC and phone once again. It had taken me about 2 hours to realise that Twitter had stopped refreshing. I sent Mistress a text to let her know that I had realised that she had tightened her grip once again and just received a ‘ha, ha’ in response.
    Friday dawned and the mixture of fear and happy & horny anticipation set in. Just as I had driven away from my home Mistress informed me of a change of plans. We were now going to lunch in a pub closer to the HOD. I cancelled one reservation and made another and set off not knowing what to expect. The good news was that we were now going to go directly to the pub concerned as opposed to a public car park. This was good news as I feared for what the reason might have been for meeting in a car park in the first place.
    I was intentionally very early for our lunch as I wanted some time to write this blog. Although Twitter was blocked from me I could still see notifications of tweets that mentioned me through my e-mail account. One such tweet notification showed Mistress dressed in a sexy trench coat (yes she can even make a trench coat look sexy!) and a scarf on her way out for our lunch appointment. She had said that she was dressed as the ‘girl next door’. I find this a truly wonderful, natural look and sent her a text telling her how much I was looking forward to seeing her. I was straining in my device by this time.
    My straining in my device should not surprise anyone as it was now four and a half weeks since my last visit to the HOD, and since Mistress had sent me away with her property securely in its chastity device! It hadn’t been touched by anything but stainless steel during that time and was pretty desperate for any sort of attention. As I write this I have just realised that this is probably the longest time that Mistress has left me locked 24/7 since my unfortunate injury (I had allowed the device to dig in and had not told Mistress). Since that time I have made some changes to the device that appears to have led to a significant improvement. So much so that even after four and a half weeks of continuous wear (and much teasing) it feels perfectly comfortable with no signs of rubbing or chafing. This is both great news and scary news. A long time ago I foolishly told Mistress that my fantasy was that she would never allow me to touch my property again. The only time that it would come out of its cage would be when I was tied up at the HOD. This week it feels like Mistress is turning another fantasy into reality!
    Mistress arrived at the Pub fashionably late. It had given me time to pre-order a drink for her and to start to fret about how close other diners would be to us. I have never been allowed to take Mistress out before and had no idea of how the dynamics might work out. I feared that Mistress might take the opportunity to ensure that the other diners were left in no doubt as to my subservient position. Once Mistress arrived my fears were totally allayed. During the next 2 hours of our lunch Mistress maintained her natural dominant position in our relationship but in such a way that I was the only person to realise it. We had a thoroughly nice lunch with only a brief time talking of fetish stuff. Eventually Mistress had to leave to attend some lucky chap back at the HOD and we said our goodbyes and left. But just before we left Mistress asked if I was still locked. It seemed a slightly strange question as she had the key to the device, but I responded that yes I was still locked and went on my way. As I drove home I realised at I had missed a potential (but unlikely) opportunity for release.
    When I had left home that morning I had no idea what lay ahead of me. At that point I had believed that I would be required to meet Mistress in a public car park before taking her to lunch. I hadn’t received any instructions as to what I should take with me but Mistress had asked earlier in the week if she had changed the code on the key safe that contained my emergency device key. I had therefore packed a few of the things that would be required for a normal session ‘just in case’. One of the things that I had with me therefore was the key safe. As I had got to the pub first, and now knowing that we would meet inside the pub, I had taken my key safe in with me hidden in my laptop bag.
    As I drove home that afternoon I realised that my reply to Mistress should have been. ‘Yes Mistress I am still securely locked, but I do have the key safe with me. Please will you allow me an orgasm tonight?’ How often do we walk away from having said something knowing that we have missed the opportunity to say something better? I hadn’t even told her that I had the key safe with me. Of course Mistress would probably have said no (mind you that would have been very exciting as well. Being denied by text is one thing but seeing Mistresses eyes sparkle whilst exercising her total control of my pleasure is something else altogether!).
    I drove home with a different feeling to any normal session day. I had enjoyed a really nice lunch with a charming, pretty and supremely dominant woman. I had not been humiliated in any way and I felt eternally grateful for that. There was a part of me that still regretted not being able to have had fun and games at the HOD but I reconciled this tinge of disappointment with the fact that I had been allowed a unique opportunity to enjoy relaxed time with my Mistress. Our relationship is long term and had, I felt, been strengthened further by today’s ‘session’. I stopped on the way home and sent Mistress a ‘thank you’ text. She responded in her own unique way. In it she confirmed how much she had enjoyed our lunch and assured me that, as she had been so kind to me today I should expect double the cruelty at the next session. I thought ahead to my next session in only 2 weeks time and started to dream and fret all at the same time.
    I arrived home happy and relaxed. But as the evening wore on I just couldn’t get the vision out of my mind of Mistress sat opposite me smiling sweetly knowing all the while that I, her slave, was locked up with no chance of release that day. I became very horny indeed! I fought the urge to contact Mistress for a couple of hours before giving in and texting her to ask her to allow me an orgasm that night. At 9.34pm Mistress read my text, but didn’t reply. I should know better but I did just wonder if she might say yes. Just once or twice in the last 2 years Mistress has surprised me with the opportunity to give myself an orgasm. Of course there have probably been another 100 occasions when she has denied me totally. But I still hung on to the slim possibility that she might be merciful, just this once. I therefore reasoned that her lack of response might be that she was just teasing me. Mistress knows that I normally go to bed at 10pm. Maybe she was going to wait until 9.59pm before saying yes. Of course it didn’t happen. 10pm came and went without a reply. I waited up until 10.15 but still nothing. In the end I went to bed denied and horny. It is a sensation that I often enjoy, but I had no doubt that on this occasion it was an orgasm that I really needed.
    I awoke the next day still feeling desperately horny. I thanked Mistress in my morning text for how she made me feel but also referred to the fact that an orgasm would have been wonderful.
    Her response: ‘Well I gave you lots of freedom last week and such nice company yesterday. Don’t be greedy!’
    I responded that I appreciated everything that she does for me. And then felt totally controlled and submissive for the rest of the day.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – A Sharp Slap!

    In this edition you will read about how I will make no qualms about showing my Slaves what could happen if they forget their places.  Don’t worry if you are just a newbie reading this, I don’t do this to all my pets.  Just the ones I know so well that I know exactly how to get to them.  If you have just found my blog and are reading this, you must know that this relationship with Slave Taquin has developed to this point over a two year period and I know that he loves it when I keep him on the edge in the manner discussed within his journal.original-00_01_46_20-still004

    Miss Deelight had kindly allowed me to write and submit my previous week’s blog on the Friday (as opposed to Sunday when it is normally required). It was a rare concession to my vanilla world and one that I very much appreciated. I knew that I would be spending the next few days on a small boat with a friend and that it was unlikely that I would be able to submit it until I got home the following week. What Mistress had not conceded to however was me removing my chastity device for the duration of my trip – more of this later. I have to say that it was one of the most enjoyable Friday mornings that I had experienced for a long, long time time. It was pouring with rain on that Friday morning and not at all conducive to spending time on a small boat. I had gone on my own to a cafe overlooking the harbour, found a seat in a corner where I could see out across the water but where no one could see my computer screen. I had enjoyed a ‘full English’ and ordered a fresh pot of coffee before opening up my computer screen to start typing. What made it all the more enjoyable was that it was ‘Taquins fetish Friday’. The one day a week where Mistress removes the controls on my access of Twitter, Whatsapp and missdeelight.com. I had arrived just before 8am and left just as the sun broke through the clouds at 12.30. I had submitted my blog and received a kind reply from Mistress telling me that she liked the blog very much, and that she just loved the power that she now has over me. She had gone on to tell me that it was lucky that she still had me locked up as she had obviously saved me from an embarrassing erection whilst inside the coffee house. I left the cafe feeling happy and decidedly damp down below!

    After that Mistress left me largely to my own devices (no pun intended) for the rest of the weekend. I spent a most enjoyable few days boating and coped with being locked in the device by peeing into a container that I had adapted for the purpose. I told my friend that I found it easier doing that and emptying it over the side than just aiming directly towards the ocean waves. Sleeping on board was the biggest issue. Inevitably I need to get up in the early hours. Because of the device I found myself having to open up the cabin at 3am and go on deck rather than using the facilities down below. My friend might have thought it odd, but I really had no other option. Of course he would have absolutely no idea of the real reason for me needing to do this.

    I had returned home on the Sunday evening and the following day had sent my early morning text to Mistress. Her response surprised me and worried me greatly. Mistress told me that she needed to know who I banked with. I replied honestly and then set about fretting why on earth she should ask such a thing. I heard no more from Mistress and so headed outside to take a look at my PC. Following fetish Friday Mistress had blocked me out of Twitter etc once again. This morning when I looked at it I saw that she had actually locked me out of the whole PC, and to make matters even worse, the message on the screen told me that I wouldn’t be allowed to use it at all until Wednesday. I sent one of my ‘should have read it before sending it’ texts to Mistress. In it I used the word ‘harsh’ to describe her approach to PC management. It was of course a mistake of the sort that after 2 years I should know better than to commit. There was no reply from Mistress. These days I often don’t know whether or not Mistress has even read my imessages. She has adopted the approach of turning off and on the ‘display messages as read’ option as she chooses. It is most disconcerting! Mistresses’ earlier question was still concerning me and I was somewhat on my guard when the house phone rang. I picked it up and answered it in my best telephone manner. After just a short pause the phone went dead. It was obviously a wrong number, or was it? I rang 1471 only to be told that the caller’s number had been withheld. My ‘Mistress radar’ was bleeping at me loudly! Would she ever phone the house? The simple answer was definitely yes. I have known for a long time that Mistress has far bigger balls than me (please don’t take offence at that phrase Mistress). I still vividly remember the day when she tied my wrists to my steering wheel in the middle of a busy car park and proceeded to lock up her property for the very first time. I will always crumble and run and hide in situations that will be like a walk in the park to Mistress. But had she phoned? I certainly didn’t intend asking her the question. You don’t give a Tiger the scent of blood unless you truly want to be devoured. I carried on with my day until the phone pinged and I read the text from Mistress. She wanted to know if there had been any unusual calls to my house that morning. There was my answer then! I replied that I had suspected that it had been her and that it was lucky for me that my wife had not picked up the call. (In actual fact my wife is far more likely to answer calls to our house but that day she was out shopping). Mistress texted back to tell me that it wouldn’t have been a problem if she had. Mistress informed me that she was ready to say ‘Hello this is Catherine A Kimball from xyz bank; please may I talk with Mr abc.’ Her name would have been enough for me to know exactly who it was. (I will leave you work out the anagram of CAKimball). Mistress had taken yet another step into my life, and how it excited me. We exchanged a couple more texts during which Mistress informed me that her call was a warning to me not to complain at my lack of PC access. My earlier use of the word ‘harsh’ had annoyed her and I had paid the price. I have spent the rest of the week reflecting on the quite dramatic effect that this has had on me. The truth is that with that one call she has confirmed what I think I have known all along. Mistress doesn’t need to threaten exposure to keep me in line (it is probably not in her nature or her financial best interest anyway). I know that Mistress could easily make my life so unbearably uncomfortable that I would have no choice but to submit long before she would have to take such an extreme action. I think that my balls are getting progressively smaller, when it comes to coping with Miss Deelight, as each week passes.

    Mistress allowed me to digest the call from Monday for the next few days. On Friday I awoke to find that my phone had its apps back again. Fetish Friday was here again! Although the apps now appeared on my phone not all of them worked. I don’t believe that this was Mistresses intention. It is just how it has been since some of the controls have been placed on it. Importantly WhatsApp did work and therefore I knew that I would be able to catch up with my vanilla lady friend. I quickly got dressed and headed out to my workshop to take a look at my PC. It too had been released. I opened up the internet and went to Twitter, it worked. And so did missdeelight.com. Hurrah! I adopted the ‘kid in the sweet shop’ approach and dived randomly between tweets, blogs, looking up my favourite people, entering my favourite searches into Twitter etc. I was having a jolly nice time. Eventually I slowed down a bit and tried something different. I typed in ‘fetlife.com’ into the browser, and it too opened up. This was new territory to me. By that I mean that I had expected to be allowed to access Twitter, missdeelight.com and WhatsApp and nothing else (this was what Mistress had told me I would be allowed in return for my additional payment to her) but it appeared that she had opened up access to other sites as well. What a lucky slave I was I thought. I was particularly pleased to have been able to access Fetlife as I had set up a Teamviewer group several months earlier and hadn’t been able to see if there had been any new contributions to it for such a long time. I opened it up to find an outstanding question from a new contributor. I answered his question as best I could. I had taken the opportunity to promote Miss Deelight within my response which pleased me greatly. So greatly in fact that I copied and pasted it into an email and sent it to Mistress. I didn’t receive a response but thought nothing of it as I knew Mistress was very busy and continued to enjoy my Friday. Inevitably I started to explore Fetlife. I started to enter search words in order to identify interesting groups. Once you find a good group you can start reading the contributions from its members. Some weeks earlier Mistress and I had touched on the subject of internet driven technology for distance control. I found a group on this and started to delve deeper. Most of its content was technically above anything that I could understand but it was interesting nonetheless. I do always enjoy the contributions from Dommes to these groups. To be honest it excites me to see how they go about using fetlife to reinforce their own identities and to gather around them their future slaves. Inevitably I find myself looking at their profiles. Eventually I had enough of fetlife and tried one further search into the address bar. I typed in xhamster.com and it opened. Now this really did feel wrong. Surely Mistress hadn’t meant for me to watch videos all day. I lingered for just a few seconds and then beat a hasty retreat! I spent the rest of the day trying to work whilst watching for new Twitter contributions. It was however a particularly quiet Twitter day and so I took the opportunity to start writing this.

    On Saturday Mistress sent a video link to me via iMessage. As is the case with pictures sent by iMessage my phone steadfastly refused to open the link. My only option was to try to play it through my PC. I sent Mistress a text asking if she would be kind enough to email me the link instead. – SLAP – ‘I am not your slave, do it yourself’ was the perfectly reasonable response from my Mistress. Whoops! I did as I was told and managed to download the file to my PC. I pressed play to be greeted by Mistress dressed in a tight latex dress that showed off her figure superbly. She went on to tell me how much I was under her spell and that as I weakened she became stronger. It lasted for nearly 5 minutes and I watched, listened and dribbled as Mistress knew that I would. I played it several times as the day progressed and inevitably became ever hornier as time went by. Mistress has perfected her technique of turning me into an absolute mess with total ease. It is as if I have been sensitised to her attentions. Having been teased by the video all day I sat down to a curry and a quiet night in front of the TV. Well that is what I had thought. At about 8.30pm I looked at my phone to see that there was a text from Mistress. It read ‘did I give you permission to go on Fetlife yesterday?’ This is not the sort of text that I wanted to receive on what had become a relaxed Saturday night. I looked at it again and knew that it spelt trouble for me. In the past I might have tried to explain and reason with Mistress, but I know better now.  I said that, no she hadn’t, and accepted that I had got a bit carried away. I did take the opportunity to say that I had been trying to promote her services whilst there. I should have known better. Mistress asked if I had been trying to ‘promote her services’ to the FemDom page that I had visited whilst on there. Sometimes I wonder if Mistress looks at my online activity, today I had got my answer. I was in trouble. At some point I had referred to the fact that I had fallen into the trap of making assumptions. Mistress responded by asking me ‘where do assumptions lead you?’ the only sensible answer I could come with was ‘back to the whipping bench Mistress’. I am not sure that this was the answer that she had expected but I hoped that it had bought a smile to those beautiful lips.

    Mistress sent me to bed last night submissive, a little scared and twitching in my device. A state of mind and body not much altered as I write this now (with the addition this morning of swollen and aching balls). I am now faced with needing to ask Mistress another question concerning my internet access but will send her this whilst building up the courage to do so.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Week 55

    Once again my pet’s journals have been forming an orderly queue in my inbox, with a backlog now mounting up.  I read the journals every week but I don’t always have time to post them least not with a worthy introduction.  However the time for worthy introductions has eluded me and I must begin clearing said backlog! So without further ado here is another humble entry from Slave Sissy Mouse who is, in his words “Firmly buckled into the controller coaster”


    Distance control journal week 55

    This week I thought it was appropriate to share the benefits that my walks are bringing me and whilst they are still not showing on the scales they are mentally refreshing.

    You will have read over the past few weeks that my challenging behaviour came to a head with Mistress sending me a very frank to the point message. This had proved to be a true catalyst for change and made me look deep into myself as to why I got to that stage. I realised I was overwhelmed by what I had requested from Mistress. None of this was forced on me, I had requested the route of complete control but now I was no longer in control and tried so very hard to wriggle out of it. Luckily for me Mistress didn’t give up because as soon as we started on this new journey my real life kinda imploded. I won’t go into the ins and outs but it had a massive effect and it has taken a long time to sort it all out. Mistress at our last session made a light-hearted comment about what was the point of a financial slave with no money (there are plenty of those around). Because of this I have had very few sessions this year and had to cancel a few because of lack of money, also the ones that I did have were of course great but in the back of my mind all I could think was I can’t really afford this which took the shine off of them a little. I really enjoy the escapism that my sessions with Mistress brings me and hopefully I can now get back into the rhythm of a more regular attendance.

    Another thing that has helped get me back into the grove is the realisation that the chastity hypnosis is working. Many of my past blogs were full of tales of chastity failure. I crave chastity as part of my control but traditional methods don’t work. I think looking back my unauthorised orgasm in July a week after the chastity hypnosis was me trying to break free from that as well. Now with a clearer understanding of what I should be doing the chastity hypnosis is working. I don’t really think about arousal, although there are times when things happen that make me very aroused for example almost every time my pc runs out of time or for the last 3 Wednesdays when I am locked out of my pc, completely stupid things like that. Having adult content removed means I don’t really get chance to look at any kink apart from twitter and very much rely on Mistress to get my kinky motor running as it were.

    Another thing I think I have dealt with was my addiction to Mistress be that the daily contact or our sessions. I craved her attention and this wasn’t good for me and to be honest very out of character. Mistress is a busy woman and as she pointed out to me and wrote recently she is one Mistress amongst many slaves. At the beginning of the distance control I was grateful for any attention I received and to be very fair that was quite a lot with tasks coming in almost daily. However, as Mistress got busier not only with work by her own real life stuff, things got quieter and instead of sitting back and waiting patiently my crazed addiction addled head started to get jealous of the attention that others were getting. Thus started a true cycle of addiction, get attention enjoy it then things go quiet get jealous, bratty and so forth. A terrible and to be honest very unpleasant situation to be in, all generated by me and my mind. I still knew that the deal was I message Mistress every day and I may or may not hear anything from her. I KNEW THAT but still I went through this terrible self-destruction cycle.

    Now I have calmed down and fully accepted my path (its only taken 8 months and a very decisive prod from Mistress) I understand that I am a toy for Mistress to play with when she needs amusing. She can’t play with all her toys at once so I must wait happily in my imaginary box until she has a use for me. Whilst I am there all I need to do is carry on with all my daily tasks which Mistress has been built up over the past year until I am called upon to either be useful or amuse Mistress. If she has no use for me for a day, a week, a month or longer then I must wait patiently until she does have a use for me. As an exemplary slave I should not seek out punishment but do as I am told and fully enjoy the pit of doom that I asked for and got. I am pleased to say that this week I have probably felt more submissive than I have ever felt before.

    Now for a résumé of the last week’s activities.

    I start the week as always on Sunday and my weekly weigh in is the same again 15st 10 I message Mistress this and to wish her a nice day. Mistress replies a little later that “it’s another week denied”. I then finish writing and submit my week 54 journal and then go for a walk. The torture of a walk on Sunday morning is the smell of bacon in the air. On my return I have a message from Mistress who has read my journal and states that it is very ‘insightful’ and enquired if even though I haven’t lost any weight do I feel better from my exercise and healthier eating. I confirm I do and the walks continue to help my mind de-cloud. A little later I send Mistress the daily picture of my lunch (my usual sandwich) and Mistress enquired why I am not having Sunday roast. I explain that I can’t go through ‘Roast potato gate’ every Sunday so I am only having a roast about once a month now.

    On Monday my message to Mistress is replied to later in the afternoon that she has had a trying day and enquired how mine is going and why did there seem to be an extra half sandwich in my lunch photo. I reply that there was in fact half a sandwich less because I now struggle to eat 4 pieces of bread.

    Tuesday arrives and my message to Mistress to outline my plans for the day and then my daily lunch picture is replied to later in the afternoon with Mistress enquiring why today I am having a white bap. The truth is the wholemeal bread sandwich was getting dull so I nipped to the bakers for a tuna bap but they had no wholemeal left so I had to have what was left. Mistress also informed me that our D/s relationship was seriously lacking a collar. Mistress had brought this up before a while ago and had not mentioned it since and because of my ups and downs I thought she may be having second thoughts about it so I haven’t mentioned it again. My next message from Mistress was to enquire of my plans for the following day which was just a day full of work and real life commitments. Mistress replied that I must eat my lunch off of the floor before the week is out and I confirmed that I would do it on Thursday as I knew I would be alone. Mistress informed me that she required video evidence and that I could eat my usual dull sandwich. Mistress also kindly sent me a picture of her looking fabulous as ever wearing a pair of trainers that I bought from her wish list. It has been great this week to be able once again to be able to spoil Mistress with some small gifts.

    Wednesday and I send Mistress my morning message and my early lunch picture because I have a full day. I hear back from Mistress later in the day to say she was leaving me alone today as I was busy.

    Thursday arrives and my message to Mistress to wish her a nice day and to thank her for my lunch off of the floor instructions was replied too with further instructions which were. I am to eat my sandwich off of the bathroom floor and I am to soak the sandwich in my own pee. Mistress also informed me that I would be granted a reward which was very kind of her and most unexpected. So lunchtime arrives I make the sandwich and break it up into small pieces and put them all in a sandwich bag. I go to the bathroom set up my phone to record the event and pee into the sandwich bag. Dump the contents out onto the bathroom floor and press record on my phone and start to eat. I have to say the soggy pee soaked sandwich was disgusting but the degradation of it made me incredibly aroused and I enjoyed every moment of it. Once finished I upload the video which took up most of my allocated pc time and messaged Mistress a picture to confirm I had done it and that it was disgusting. My reply was two emoji’s with face masks on and ‘Good!’ and very shortly after a message to say I could now look at filth. This amused me because the video upload had taken most of my allocated 30 mins and I only had 7 minutes left so I used the time to catch up on the blogs on Mistress’s website and once I had used up all the time moved to my phone to read the remainder. Mistress had already warned me that her introduction to my 1-year blog was quite hard hitting. I however think it was a very fair and correct piece of writing, everything that Mistress wrote was true. I also as always enjoyed the roller coaster weeks of Slave Taquin and the way Mistress really fucks with his mind. I do take my hat off to him and how he copes.

    Friday and my message to Mistress was to inform her of my plans and as always to wish her a nice day. I start the day with my usual allocation of 30 minutes and do my rush in check what I need to check and then sign out. I can now usually make 30 minutes last most of the day and squeeze my work needs into that time. I head out for my walk and when I return I find that I have unlimited pc time until 10pm. I can’t believe my luck and make plans to enjoy some more kink related websites but alas this was not to be because Mistress had once again blocked all access to such sites. So the irony was that yesterday I had the access but not the time and today I had the time but not the access. It’s almost like Mistress plans these things!! I decide that it would be a good idea to crack on with my journal as I have no idea what time I would be allocated in the coming days. I also discovered when I returned for lunch that Mistress had now denied me access to twitter on my pc but it still worked on my phone. I send Mistress my lunch picture and thank her for still allowing me to access twitter on my phone. Mistress replies that I shouldn’t be able to and will get to the bottom of it and remove such a privilege. Once twitter goes I really am in a no kink wilderness.

    Saturday arrives and my morning message is read by Mistress but no reply and why should there be. As Mistress has written many times it is her prerogative if and when a slave gets a message. It is my requirement to send a message to Mistress by 8am what happens after that is out of my hands. I go for my daily walk, do what I need to work wise and return for lunch and send my usual lunch picture. I have another full day of pc access and another busy day of work so can’t enjoy it. I can still view twitter on my phone and will continue to do so until the dreaded message comes up ‘you need to ask an adult in your family if you can visit twitter’ or any other non-adult website Mistress wants to block me from visiting.

    So to sum up I have firmly buckled myself back into the controller coaster and very much looking forward to the ride however bumpy or squirm inducing it may be.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Week 54

    I’m still playing catch up with getting all these journals onto my blog.  So a brief intro from me – another week of reflection but with positive analysis for Sissy Mouse…..


    Distance control journal week 54.

    This week has been a relatively quiet week. Which has left me with lots of time to think about my recent actions and behaviour which I will cover after a résumé of the past week.

    My first message of the week to Mistress on Sunday with a report of my weight (which remained the same so no orgasm) was replied to with the good news that Mistress was feeling better after her recent illness and further advice from Mistress on where I am going wrong with my diet and this time it was my love of full fat milk. It’s only when I read the label did I realise how much saturates are in the milk. Mistress suggested that like her I should be having skimmed milk. Yuck was my immediate reaction but as always with a bit of thought if I want to lose weight (which I do) then I need to commit to change. I message Mistress that I will commit to the skimmed milk, this will also tick a control box because from now on every coffee, tea of bowl or cereal will no longer be as enjoyable as before and remind me of my commitment to myself and Mistress. Mistress also informed me that she is going to measure me at our next session to record over time my inch loss as well as my weight loss. At lunchtime I sent Mistress a picture of my lunch as this is a non-negotiable daily requirement.

    Monday’s message to Mistress to inform her of my plans for a very busy day. This included my now daily walk and then later on a picture of my lunch and 4 pints of skimmed milk (I don’t think I will ever get used to it). Mistress replies that she is pleased with my commitment to the milk.

    Tuesday arrives and Mistress informs me to edge myself at lunchtime and that she has a very busy day. I thank Mistress for my task and get on with my day starting with my walk. When lunchtime arrives I go to carry out my edge and an odd thing happens I can get aroused but then just like my orgasm last week and my ruin a couple of weeks before that I can’t maintain an erection. This at the time was quite perturbing and I’m thinking to myself old age is starting to get to me because I have never had this issue before! Anyway with concentration of the mind I manage to carry out the edge and message Mistress to confirm it was done. Mistress enquired ‘was it easy of hard?’ and I reply that whilst the edge was ok because after my orgasm last week my desperation is much lower getting aroused was very difficult. Mistress replies with ‘That’s good’ which leaves me a bit confused and it’s not until Mistress reminds me of the chastity hypnosis that she did in early July did it dawn on me why it’s been so difficult and also why last week’s orgasm was not that enjoyable. My subconscious has been programmed to only enjoy arousal and orgasms whilst either in Mistress’s company or dressed as SHB (although this is currently on the backburner). When I had my unauthorised orgasm in July the hypnosis had no effect but now with a much more accepting clear mind it does. This makes me incredibly happy that the hypnosis is starting to work as the goal is that eventually I will only be able to get aroused with a trigger word from Mistress, negating the need for a chastity device (which always fail).

    On Wednesday I message Mistress to inform her of my plans including a walk. Mistress replies that it certainly was a lovely day for a walk and she hopes I will be wearing panties. I never take my phone with me when I walk so I can have an hour or so of peace so I got Mistress’s messages once I returned home. I confirmed to Mistress that it was indeed a lovely day for a walk (even if the surroundings weren’t very picturesque) and that I was wearing my panties as I did every day. Mistress then asked for proof that I was indeed wearing them. This is the first time I can remember Mistress asking for proof, I wear them every day because Mistress might require proof at any time and I wouldn’t want to get caught out. Mistress has never discussed what the penalty would be for not wearing them but frankly right now I wouldn’t want to find out so I will continue as I have for around a year to keep wearing them every day and enjoying the slight humiliation they bring to me. I send Mistress my picture and as always get an amusing and slightly derogatory reply.

    Thursday was very quiet as its usually Mistress’s day of doing her stuff and I hear nothing from her today.

    Friday was again quiet apart from me sending Mistress a picture of my breakfast-lunch of a bowl of cornflakes (with skimmed milk yuck) as I was going out that evening and wanted to try to keep my calorie consumption down. Mistress replies “should be in a dog bowl” and that summed up Friday!

    My Saturday message to Mistress to inform of my plans for the day was replied to by Mistress asking how my evening out had gone. I had been out for a curry (not diet friendly I know) but I could only manage about half and I drove so could refrain from alcohol easily (not that I drink much the last time being Christmas). Mistress was pleased that I didn’t keep going and reminded me that as you eat less your stomach shrinks.

    Over the last week I have been trying to analyse my poor and challenging behaviour that had took hold of me over most of this year. What I have realised is that I have not been conducting myself as a submissive in the way I approach my business and that is that all of my customers no matter how long they have been my customers are always treated as a new customer. I make sure I try and do the best I can to ensure they return every time. This I have should have carried over as a submissive and ensured that I shouldn’t rely on what I was or had done previously but tried my best to be a great submissive to Mistress every day. Starting every day with a blank sheet of paper, remembering what it was like at the beginning striving to be an excellent submissive and client. With time I think we are all guilty of getting comfortable with any relationship no matter what type of relationship that might be and we forget to try every day to make it special. I certainly forgot to remind myself how special and enjoyable my D/s relationship with Mistress was. I remember reading an article on Fetlife quite a while ago about male submissives and how once they get to a certain level with their chosen Dominant they stop trying to impress and become sloppy. Relating it back to the hunter gatherer, once the prize had been obtained then it was time to move on to gaining the new prize.

    What I have now gleaned from all this is I need to stop trying to get out of things, enjoy every session like it’s the last one. Stop worrying about what might be coming and certainly stop thinking about what other slaves are getting. No matter how good I was yesterday, last week or last month, today I have to prove myself again because the very slippery slope to the exit door is never far away.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – 1 year!

    As Slave Sissy Mouse completed his first full year of distance control he has pretty much done a controller-coaster round trip; soaring to the stars and swimming in the depths of despair and for the most part of 2016 has been subconsciously trying to unbuckle and eject at every turning. This is not because my control is wrong, believe me I have not given him any non consensual or undiscussed control; everything he has been faced with has been of his own request.  The problem is that he lost himself. I believe the chastity failing was the beginning followed by a whole barrage of things going on his personal life. He analysed himself too much and as a result couldn’t figure out head nor tail of what was going on inside that endearing bumbling brain of his.

    Fortunately for my slave, I know him well enough to decide that it is time to draw the line.  Not the line under our D/s relationship but a line under which he has any say in the matter!  Some might say that he should not have had any say in the matter anyway, however submission is when a person gives themselves freely.  With plenty of other slaves in my stable, doing just that I didn’t have the time to enforce a strict regime while he was confused about pretty much everything.  However the penny dropped the other day, in that giving this particular slave his own mind isn’t best for him. It allows for that confusion to grow and spread.

    The simple fact of the matter is that I do not have time for demanding slaves.  I am one Mistress to many submissives, so if you are not going to submit unequivocally then you must leave! I expect my slaves to continuously strive for perfection as I do myself. Now that I have made that point clear, all is well again in the world of Sissy Mouse and the future is looking bright.  To any new slaves reading my website with a view to an ongoing arrangement, you will do well to take note of the points made here.

    I am exceptionally good at my profession, if you want the best you should strive to be your best!


    Distance control journal week 52.

    I have finally arrived virtually unscathed from a year of distance control. If you have read my ramblings since week 1 you will know it’s been a slightly bumpy ride due to my bumbling brain but it has also been incredibly interesting, I have learnt a lot about myself and this week has certainly focused my mind probably more so than ever before. I am certainly guilty of constantly trying to wonder off the path and look for a gap in the fence. Rather than just say saying “Yes Mistress” I constantly fight things in my head (sometimes for no reason) because no one likes a doormat. Yes, I am submissive but I am no pushover but sometimes the stubborn side of me is too blunt. We are all (as Slave Taquin put it in one of his recent blogs) eclectic and that’s what makes the world of D/s interesting.

    Sunday and the beginning of week 52. My weight is still the same so no orgasm this week. I also have a great dilemma on my hands today. I am having Sunday lunch with my mum. I don’t get to do this that often usually because one of us is busy but today after probably a month I get to just turn up and get fed. This visit however has placed me between a rock and a hard place. Mistress has instructed me to refrain from roast potatoes with my lunch so I phone my mum the evening before and explain (as she herself points out to me on many occasions) that I am trying to eat more healthily and could she cook less roast potatoes because I will have boiled instead. The answer is a swift no followed by you don’t have my roast dinner that often so you will get what you always have. I message Mistress my dilemma on the Sunday morning and Mistress replies that I can have 1 roast potato and I am to send her a picture of my plate before we eat. I reply that I don’t think my mum will have any of it and I may have to take my chances of being in trouble with Mistress rather than annoying my eighty odd year old mother. When we finally get to putting the food on the plate after a small battle I get away with 2 quarters of roast potatoes. I take a picture to which my mum looks at me quite oddly and send it to Mistress. I then enjoy probably the least relaxed Sunday lunch ever. Once we are finished I check my phone and gingerly open Mistress’s reply to my picture and luckily she is pleased I persevered and the scales with thank me and I will then thank Mistress. I go about the rest of my Sunday slightly battle scarred from the experience.

    Monday arrives and my morning message to Mistress is replied to with Mistress enquiring where my previous 2 weeks’ blogs are. I inform Mistress that I sit down and try to write them but my mind goes blank and then I run out of pc time (still trying to wander off the path). Mistress replies that I like Slave Taquin must structure our blog write ups within our allocated pc time. Mistress also explained that the pc time limits is to ensure that we are more productive for her and don’t just sit at the pc when we have spare time. Mistress then very generously grants me access all day to write weeks 50 and 51. I thank Mistress and get a reply that made me consider my behaviour more than ever in the past. Mistress wrote “You should strive to be the best for Mistress, after all you are one of the ones setting a precedence for others to work towards” I thank Mistress for the extra time and sit at the blank page. Written below is what I stared at for about an hour……

    Distance control journal weeks 50 and 51

    I don’t think this is for me anymore!

    No matter what I wrote it was all very negative. I had had a great session with Mistress the previous week and other things to write about but try as I might I couldn’t come out with anything positive. I send Mistress a picture of my now heathy lunch and tell her that I am struggling to write the blogs. Mistress in her now understanding way informs me that time is running out and I better get them done. I have my lunch and go back to staring at a blank screen. Eventually I manage to write a very short week 50 summery and get into my stride of writing about week 51 in a (correct) positive way. Once done I message Mistress to confirm they are finished and sent.

    Tuesday arrives and my morning message to Mistress was late because my mum wasn’t feeling well and I was getting some medication she needed. I messaged Mistress around 10 to explain why my message was late and to wish her a nice day. Mistress replied that the only person she will make allowances for is my mum, which was nice. Later I send my daily picture of my heathy lunch and tuck in. Once I finish I check my phone and a couple of messages from Mistress the first enquiring if I had eaten it the second saying don’t eat it and then the last one saying forget the other 2 just eat it. I message back to say that was lucky because I already had. Mistress then replied with my task for the next day. I am to make my sandwich then have a ruined orgasm and use the cum from the ruin as an extra ingredient. I also had to film it. I thanked Mistress for the task and went about my day with this churning over in my mind.

    On Wednesday I messaged Mistress to wish her a nice day and confirm my lunchtime task. Mistress very firmly reminded me that I was to make sure that I did a self-controlled ruin and not get any pleasure from it. Finally, lunchtime arrives and I make the sandwich set up my phone to record it do an introduction for Mistress and then start. This is where something very odd happened I lost my erection. When Mistress sent me the instructions the previous day I was turned on to say the least from that moment until I started to try and edge myself. After about 3 minutes I stopped recording and deleted it. On waiting a few minutes, I got everything back and happy which was easy because this sort of task turns me on its humiliating and degrading. As before got the sandwich pressed record and did my introduction and started and once again I start to lose my erection. So I keep going in an almost mechanical fashion and it does finally come back, maybe it was knowing that it wasn’t for pleasure and that a ruin just leaves you with an unsatisfied painful feeling but anyway finally I got to the point where a few more strokes would have been pleasure but stopped and produced the ruin that I hoped Mistress would be happy with and with it an extra sandwich ingredient. I closed the sandwich and ate it on camera so Mistress could see. It wasn’t the best sandwich I have had but it was still better than the ache from my ruined balls. I message Mistress to confirm I have done my task and her reply was very amusing “Was it yummy?” I replied it was ‘umm not too bad’ Mistress added that she hoped it was suitably painful and degrading? I replied that indeed my balls ached and doing in front the camera wasn’t easy. I then had to joy of uploading the video to send to Mistress, this was the easy bit. The hardest bit was getting it to upload to dropbox so I could share it with Mistress. I had my camera set on the highest quality setting so the file was big and I am sure I could have edited it but being me I would have probably deleted it. So uploading took time and more time than I had been allocated by Mistress that day. I messaged Mistress to say it was still uploading when my pc time ran out and I would share it the next day.

    Thursday morning arrives and my message to Mistress today to wish her a nice day and to inform her of my plans was responded too with a task. It was a nice easy task all I had to do was go for a walk for an hour. Anyone reading this (like me eventually) would think that isn’t a hard task. But not me to start with I went into ‘but Mistress it’s my week off I don’t want to go for a walk’ How fucking childish could I get! Mistress read my message and didn’t reply because frankly it wasn’t worth a reply. About 4 hours later just as I had stopped being a petulant child I was about to message Mistress that I was going for the walk (it had also just started to rain so this was my punishment for not going earlier) when Mistress messaged me to remind me that the walk will help with my weight loss and might also clear my cobwebs. I replied that I was just about to go and I was going to use the time to have a good think about my poor attitude. Off I head and where I live is quite hilly so it was a surprising how knackered I was from it and also how far you can walk in an hour. On my return I messaged Mistress a picture of my lunch and that I have been thinking about my very poor attitude recently and that yes I should be an exemplary pet. Mistress replied with “Good it’s about time”. I was also surprised to find that Mistress had allowed me access to her website. I went to my pc to read them on the big screen to find that when I went out for my walk I had 36 minutes of screen time left on my return I had 6! So I will be reading the blogs on my phone then. It is lucky that the pc screen time isn’t mirrored on my phone but I am sure Mistress will find something that does do that overtime. I really enjoyed reading all the blogs I had missed and especially Mistress’s introductions.

    Friday morning arrived and I awoke to a message Mistress had sent me whilst I was asleep. The message told me that I was to eat my lunch off of the floor today. I messaged Mistress and informed her that I had my mate with me today so I couldn’t do it (this made me wince) of course any other day this week would have been no problem at all. I have no issue eating off of the floor but not in front of my mate. Mistress relied that she thought I was on holiday this week (I am self-employed I’m never really on holiday). I replied that I am and my mates visit was more sociable than work but no doubt some work would pass our way. Mistress didn’t reply to this but what she did was send me a much bigger message she blocked twitter on both my pc and phone and blocked solitaire on my pc. I messaged Mistress to tell her I wish I had taken a picture of my expression when I pressed the twitter button on my phone and the message ‘You will have to ask an adult if you can use twitter’ Mistress has also removed my access to her website again. I now sat there and thought to myself would it be really that bad to eat my lunch off of the floor in front of my mate? He does after all know about my adventures with Mistress and has seen various pictures and videos of me doing stupid stuff. When he arrived I showed him the screen message and told him of my task. He of course then spent the day taking the piss out of me. His regular line of the day was “Have you seen this on twitter?” or hashtag this or hashtag that usually followed by “I’m an adult I can look at twitter” or “I don’t really like twitter but I like it today” and so the day dragged on like that.

    Saturday arrives and I sent my message to Mistress not expecting a reply and that was indeed the case. However, that was nothing compared to what would come a bit later. I made my lunch and took a picture and went to send it to Mistress via WhatsApp as usual and the “ask an adult if you can use WhatsApp” box appeared. This one got to me the most. Twitter and solitaire and to a degree my pc I can live without but I have customers who contact me via WhatsApp. I then panic and think how am I going to send the picture which of course is easy email it duh. I email the picture and press the delete button and then wonder why it didn’t send. I then send it again using the send button so much more useful. I get my first message from Mistress in over a day saying how pleased she is that her app blocking is working. The stakes were getting higher now but the problem with me is I am stubborn and I think to myself ok I can live without WhatsApp as well but oh how wrong I was because all my message with Mistress which I then use as my memory of the week I have no access too now. I have an hour allocated to me today and my journal needs to be in tomorrow and I have no idea how much if any time I have tomorrow so I must get as much done as possible. I begin to write my journal from memory and run out of pc time anyway. So I now have to message Mistress and humbly request access to WhatsApp. Mistress replies to remind her in the morning.

    As you will probably guess from the above Mistress did grant me access but in the process truly reminded me of my place. Mistress also told me she has not been feeling well this week which is never good to hear especially as I have spent some of the week acting like an idiot. I always thought I was a good submissive but this week has taught me that I am currently lacking on a lot of fronts. My attitude recently has left a lot to be desired and I really need to up my game. As always watch this space.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Week 49

    A rather short entry written by Slave Sissy Mouse during my recent short break.  I decided while I was away that my slave should be as productive as possible and therefore only allocated him 3 hours of PC time….


    Distance control journal week 49

    With Mistress away on her well-deserved holiday, my write up this week is going to be short.

    My message on Sunday to Mistress was to wish her a nice day and a great time away. I knew Mistress had a busy day sorting everything before she went away and expected to hear nothing more from her. We did in fact exchange many messages into the early afternoon. As I had a friend with me I was planning to write my week 48 journal later in the day as I had lots of PC time. Although Mistress had enquired if I had any admin duties I needed to do whilst she was away so I didn’t expect my unrestricted PC time to last. Around 5pm I was alone so I went and dressed as SHB to write my journal, on returning to my PC Mistress had locked me out for the day so that ended that. Mistress as far as I was concerned was now on holiday so I was not going to ask for extra time. I had no idea what time if any I would be allowed whilst Mistress was away.

    On Monday it was very strange to start my day without messaging Mistress to wish her a nice day and give her my plans for the day. I turned on my PC to find I had been allocated 60 minutes of usage today and thought it was best to save that until I had time later to start writing my journal. Between Monday and Thursday Mistress had allotted me a total of 3 hours of PC time. This was enough to do any minor admin jobs and write my journal and re check it several times for the usual errors. My restrictive pc time does however now mean that I start work earlier. Before Mistress set my time limits I would sit at my pc and browse the net or play games every morning. I now can’t waste the time I am given on none important stuff.

    Thursday evening arrived and I received a message from Mistress informing me of her return. I enquired if she had enjoyed her break which indeed she had. This was great to hear as you will probably know Mistress rarely takes time off of work.

    With Mistress back to work on Friday I send my usual message. Mistress replies that she has been at work since 8am and why had I not been promoting her on twitter whilst she was away. Informing people of my daily pc time limits etc. I apologised and explained that it hadn’t even crossed my mind. I hear nothing more for a few hours and then I read a message from Mistress about 2 hours after she had sent it because whilst Mistress was on holiday I wasn’t glued to my phone and had become sloppy and left it in the workshop. Mistress had enquired if I had had my lunch which of course when she had sent it I hadn’t but by the time I had read the message I had. I once again apologised for my slow reply and didn’t hear anything more. I have to say Friday for me work wise was trying to say the least so not hearing much from Mistress was a great relief. I was also granted a luxurious 4 hours of pc time today but I had such a busy day I used about 15 minutes of it!

    Saturday and apart from a few messages regarding something Mistress has asked me to look in to it was a quiet day. I had a slightly better day work wise but it was still not brilliant and by 3pm I gave up and went home and enjoyed a bit of sunshine in the garden. No pc time today I was locked out.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Week 47

    pic-83Distance control journal week 47.

    This week Mistress has started taking more control of my online activities. Which came as a complete surprise to me as Mistress was feeling unwell as my week started on Sunday. I messaged Mistress to enquire how she was feeling and that I would be writing my week 46 journal as usual dressed as SHB. Mistress replied a little later that she was still feeling unwell and was also very annoyed that she wasn’t able to work to capacity. It’s never good to hear Mistress is unwell and I wished her a speedy recovery. I duly wrote and submitted my week 46 journal and then to be honest enjoyed the freedom of being able to browse the internet as I chose because Mistress had lifted my adult site blocker. Around 2pm I was on my pc when I noticed on twitter that Mistress had posted my week 44 with a very stern picture to go with it. I clicked on the link and bam no access. Even whilst Mistress was ill she had removed my adult browsing but that was not all within a couple of minutes the pink box of doom came up saying “Times up, this device is locked due to your family settings” Mistress had completely caught me on the hop and all I could do was switch the screen off and walk away. I sent Mistress a “Wahhhhh ” message and got too the point reply “What?” about 2 hours later. I think that said it all.

    Monday morning and I message Mistress to enquire how she is feeling and sadly she is still unwell.  When I wake my pc up I see that the little family icon says I will be locked out at 10.17 which I though was an odd number but I worked out that Mistress had allocated me 90 minutes of pc time. I looked at the box with a smile, thinking I am going to have to be frugal with my pc time today. Later in the day Mistress gives me a task so she could understand better my thoughts on what appeals about chastity and denial to me. I thank Mistress for the task and have a good think before even trying to write anything as it will eat into my pc time.

    Tuesday brought the news that Mistress was feeling only slightly better and I hoped she would feel better soon. Mistress had only allocated me 60 minutes of pc time today so I spent it wisely writing my chastity task and duly sending it. I also shared with Mistress my initial thoughts on having my pc access restricted, which has made me feel very small and humiliated and also having no access to adult sites from either my pc or my phone is very annoying because I go to look at things that are posted on twitter and it just comes back with “Ask an adult if you can view this page”. Mistress reply was simply “I am glad it is having an effect”.

    Wednesdays brings the news that Mistress is still unwell but is working today. I wish Mistress good luck with her day and thank her for the very restrictive 30 minutes of pc time I have been allocated today. Later in the evening I receive a picture from Mistress via WhatsApp and expecting it to be a lovely picture of her I open it to find Mistress had sent me a picture of me slow dancing with Mistress R’eal’s slave Speedy from December 14. The evening of the unforgettable day out with Tammy Tampax! I had forgotten all about that picture and without needing to say anything Mistress reminded me of all the “leverage” she has on me. I also received a message from Slave Taquin telling me how amused he was that I liked his journal that Mistress had announced on twitter even though I couldn’t actually read it due to parental controls. He informed me that he could do the opposite and look at Mistress’s website but not twitter apart from the very small time he had just been allocated.

    Thursday brings some good news that Mistress is starting to feel better and she also shared a lovely picture of herself on twitter wearing a very nice summer dress. I was also reminded that Mistress was feeling better because later that day she sent me some instructions regarding our session on Saturday and reminded me that she had not forgotten my punishment for my unauthorised orgasm! I once again apologised and I fully accept any punishment I am due. I am also allowed a very generous 60 minutes of pc time but still no chance of any adult website viewing.

    Friday arrives and Mistress confirms she is feeling better and has a busy day. I wish her a great day. Mistress has once again only allowed me 30 minutes pc time today. I use all this up by around 2.30pm and the pink box of doom tells me that I can use my pc again at 7am on the 24th which means no pc access whatsoever on Saturday!!

    Saturday arrives and today I have the great pleasure of a session with Mistress. I awake to a message from Mistress requesting I bring Coke, water and some AAA batteries. I confirm I have her shopping list and Mistress replies that I am to do my shopping whilst wearing my jingle bells thong. I thank Mistress for my instructions and go to the local supermarket, luckily it’s busy so I don’t think anyone heard me but it’s still wonderfully humiliating. Finally, it’s time to leave for the HOD and because it is the first weekend of the school holidays I leave earlier and plan on using the old severn bridge because it’s always quieter. Driving along the M4 a sign tells me that the old bridge is closed and to use the new bridge. This turned out to be a nightmare, I was supposed to be at the with Mistress at 12 noon but at that time I was just at the tolls. I hate being late and this is the first time I have ever been late in two and a half years. I have already spoken to Mistress to inform her that the traffic is terrible. However, it was about to get worse because once the other side of the tolls there was an accident which meant I arrived a full 30 minutes late. Mistress was very understanding and we sat and had a catch up but it did mean that our session today was cut short and Mistress could not do everything she had planned. I can’t deny when I first arrived I was feeling almost too stressed to enjoy our session but the sit down and chat got me back in the mood. Once again I enjoyed a brilliant session with Mistress which concentrated on the Sissy Hypnobot training. I don’t think it would be worth writing anything other than that about it because this is something that is ongoing. As ever time flew and in what seemed like a blink of an eye it was time to return to reality. Mistress commented that she was returning home to edit photos and I quipped that I was returning to a blank pc screen to which I only got a wry smile.

    Even though Mistress was sadly unwell this week she has controlled me more than I have ever been before and as always I am truly grateful. I also hope that Mistress continues to feel better and returns to her fun filled and evil self. I have enjoyed greatly being kept on a very short lead which will no doubt tighten even more in the future.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – A Disjointed Week


    It has been a rather disjointed week this week, and so this will be an inevitably shorter blog.
    On Sunday I exchanged texts with Mistress to find her beginning to feel decidedly unwell. She was very unhappy about it, and therefore so was I! It is at times like this that you would love the power of healing but alas it is a power reserved for a divine few and that doesn’t include me! Despite (or maybe because of) her illness it didn’t prevent her from threatening to make me take a Viagra whilst wearing my device.
    On Monday I discovered that I had been locked out of my PC. On enquiring about it Mistress disclosed to me that she had set it to lock and unlock at random times. This would probably have got me dribbling in my cage in normal circumstances, but knowing that Mistress was feeling ‘dreadful’ (her word not mine) I just felt concerned for her.
    On Tuesday, and whilst feeling no better, Mistress took the time to send me a picture of her on the new sun lounger that I had bought for her a couple of weeks earlier. She kindly made the time to thank me for it which was very kind. At some point during this exchange I told Mistress that I was meeting up with my vanilla lady friend, who knows all about love of femdom, for lunch the following day. I knew that in telling Mistress of my lunch date that I risked some sort of intervention. It is not something that I wanted to happen, but I knew that Mistress would be angry with me if I only told her of my date after the event.
    On Wednesday I awoke and sent my early morning text to Mistress. It was met with an unusual silence. Mistress is normally kind enough to respond pretty quickly, even if it is to tell me that she is too busy to communicate with me until later in the day. Today there was nothing. As the morning progressed with still no response from Mistress I began to fear that she might be focussing on my lunch date. I became convinced that at approximately 11.30/11.45 I would receive a text from Mistress that would in some way interfere with a lovely relaxed lunch with a very good friend. At 11.45 my phone pinged, and I feared the worst. I picked up my phone to see that I had indeed received a text from Mistress. I nervously opened it, and then breathed a sigh of relief as I realised that it was relatively ‘harmless’ and was just telling me that she would be in contact later that day. I set off for the pub looking forward very much to catching up with my friend. But I really wasn’t comfortable about the whole situation. As I drove down the country lanes I began to fear another possibility. Could Mistress be sitting there with my friend in the beer garden of the pub? Mistress certainly had my friends’ phone number. My friend was certainly wonderfully mischievous enough to conspire with Mistress to make it happen without my knowledge. I could see them, in my mind’s eye, laughing at what was about to happen to me. I arrived at the pub and walked through into the garden, scanning for my friend and fearing the worst. But there she was sitting on her own, as pretty as a picture, in a discreet area of the garden. We said hello and within a couple of moments chat I was pretty certain that there was no conspiracy in place. Within a few minutes my friend and I were chatting and laughing about my adventures. She seems to particularly like the fact that that she is now known in the fetish world as my ‘vanilla friend’. She laughed a lot about that, although she claims to be rather more ‘raspberry ripple’ than vanilla, which is most probably true. Anyway following what turned out to be a lovely lunch I returned home to my everyday life. Later that day I included a reference to my lunch in a text to Mistress. She was not pleased! Apparently she had ‘made plans’ and then totally forgotten about it all. I think it is a measure of how ill she has been this week!
    On Thursday I received a text asking what I was doing on Saturday. I replied that I was going to be stuck at home doing dull vanilla stuff. I didn’t see any response until shortly after lunch time when I looked at my phone to find 5 missed texts from Mistress. I had missed them as I tend to turn off the little switch on the side of my phone when sitting down with my other half. I quickly scanned through them to realise that I was now in some trouble. In summary they said:
    1) That’s a shame, I had wanted to do a mini session with you
    2) You are not responding quickly enough to my texts.
    3) Why did you not ask permission to meet with another woman?
    4) Prove you are locked in chastity – you have 3 minutes
    5) That’s 11 minutes. Tick Tock…
    (at this point of writing this blog on Sunday afternoon Mistress has just opened up team viewer on my PC, opened the camera and talked to me through the speakers on my PC! This has never happened before and it has totally thrown me off balance for writing this blog. It has also brought everything to life down below. How wonderful.)
    I rushed to the bathroom and took a picture of the device still securely in place, and sent it to Mistress. I nervously awaited her response. Apparently it had taken over 30 minutes for me to respond to her final text. Mistress was not impressed. I sent another text and apologised for not asking her permission to meet with my friend. I knew that I had told her about the lunch date, but realise that that is a world apart from asking the permission of my Mistress. I told her that in future I would always ask to be allowed to meet with another woman. (It appears that Mistress had just taken control of yet another part of my life). Mistress really had me dribbling away at this point. But then she obviously decided to bring me back down with a bump! I received a text that informed me that my poor behaviour was going to lead to much pain. The threat of pain always has the same effect on me. Mistress’s property ran and hid.
    On Friday I had to take a quick trip to an A&E with a possible broken wrist. Thankfully all was ok and it was just bruised and swollen. It did rather interfere with my day however.
    On Saturday I found myself with a large group of friends on a campsite on the Somerset levels. It was at some point in the early evening when I received a text from Mistress asking where I was. I replied truthfully and awaited her response (there would never be any point in lying, even if I wanted to, as Mistress can just access my location through my phone if she wants to). But no response was forthcoming. Again Mistresses silence got me fretting. Now that she had confirmed that I was more than an hour and a half from my home I convinced myself that she was about to carry out her threat made a week earlier. The threat was to walk up the drive of my house to inquire of my other half if she had seen Mistresses missing cat. Later that evening when I arrived home I waited to see if my other half mentioned any unusual callers to the house. Fortunately not.
    And so another eventful week is over. How I am looking forward to next week! I am looking forward to Mistress being back to good health, but most of all I am looking forward to seeing Mistress again at my next session. A month seems such a long time without her wonderful touch.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Week 46


    Distance control journal week 46. Sailing close to the wind.

    This week is going to be a short write up because I have spent the week keeping my head down after breaking the most fundamental rule of my D/s relationship with Mistress. I had an unauthorised orgasm. I am not in any way going to try and justify it but at least give you some background into why I did it.

    After weeks of little sleep and the endless teasing by Mistress at 3am ish on Saturday 9th of July I had an orgasm. I still can only say it was a total lack of judgement and a weakness on my part. Every night for weeks I have been woken up by a night time erection and last Saturday my patience just snapped and I thought fuck it an orgasm might help me sleep. I realise now that this was utter stupidity on my part and I only had to explain to Mistress how I was feeling. Then she would have helped me either to get my control back or as it turned out was planning to allow me a treat once I was dressed the following day as SHB. As it has now turned out I am going to be punished (and rightly so) for my actions and in the process I annoyed Mistress no end and the message Mistress sent me on the Sunday following my confession says it all “What the actual fuck slave!” and then “You know I could make mincemeat out of you and expose you?” I have never in the past, present or future wished to annoy Mistress. I of course apologised to Mistress but frankly it was too late and it was Mistress’s good grace that I am not in a whole pile of shit right now.

    The following day Monday I messaged Mistress not knowing what to expect and found Mistress in a slightly better mood and she explained to me that whilst my wellbeing is very important to her, my actions would bring with it punishment and what that would be she hadn’t decided. I replied that I fully understood and accept any punishment she deemed fit and that I realise that there is no point asking for her control and then doing what I just did. I then spent the afternoon dressed as SHB writing last week’s journal.

    The rest of the week was spent waiting for what my punishment might be and keeping in touch with Mistress. Checking every day to see if I had been granted permission to visit any adult sites. On Friday an insight into my possible punishment appeared on my PC screen around mid-morning. It was a clip of a slave receiving a thigh and cock caning. I have had my thighs caned and it hurts. My message to Mistress when I saw it was simply “Eeeeeek” as always with Mistress you get nothing back so I don’t know if this is going to be my punishment of not. On the plus side Mistress looked fabulous in the clip in a shiny black latex dress!

    On Friday evening I tried once again to see if I could visit Mistress’s website, all I wanted to do was to read Mistress’s introduction to my week 43 journal as this always gives me a little insight into what might be going through her mind (Mistress plays everything very close to her). To my surprise I could visit her website and read the introduction and also any other slaves journal I had missed (Slave Huw and his inflatable adventures are brilliant). I messaged Mistress to thank her for allowing me access to which I had only been granted so I could watch a public humiliation clip on Pornhub. Mistress told me it would be in my history and to watch that and only that. I duly did as instructed and whilst the clip itself wasn’t that good, the content made me feel very uneasy. It was an outdoor scene of a slave licking and then having to force the Mistress’s feet down his throat so he gagged on them and then lick them clean again. This I have to say made me feel quite queasy and I messaged Mistress to inform her I had watched it and the effect it had on me. Mistress just confirmed it was something we were going to do at some point in the future!!

    The week ends with me messaging Mistress on the Saturday to find she is unwell which is never great to hear and I wish her a speedy recovery.

    I would like to thank Mistress for her understanding this week and not pushing my self destruct button and also to Slave Taquin for messaging me about my stupidity. I have also enjoyed a week of excellent sleep. Mistress did comment that I can deal with the denial (I managed 6 months before) it’s all the teasing that gets me in a state.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Mental Turmoil

    I am rushing through scheduling blog posts for while I am away so this and the next few posts wont have an introduction with them… just the tortured and teased ramblings of my devoted pets!


    Having submitted my blog earlier in the day I was so pleased to get a text back from Mistress congratulating me on it. My blog had talked of how I had felt having been largely starved of contact or stimulation over the previous 7 days. It had not been easy. In her text Mistress had told me that my blog was just what she had expected and that I could now ‘see how dull your life is without me in it’.

    It is this ability to play with my feelings and emotions knowing all the while precisely the effect that she is having on me that makes Mistress so powerful, dangerous and exciting.

    Mistress had decided to have a couple of well earned rest days on Sunday and Monday and so I did my best not to trouble her. I did have some good personal news on Monday afternoon that I shared with her. She kindly responded to say how pleased she was for me and concluded her text with the words: ‘Now you can lock up!’. Being locked in chastity was one of the things that Mistress had removed from my day to day life the previous week. Being locked up for Mistress provides me with a constant reminder of her power over me. Today putting the device on, securing it with the coded plastic lock and sending the picture to Mistress had a particularly strong effect on me. I suspected that Mistress had been planning for this moment, when she would know that her property was trapped once again in its steel cage. Having been starved of attention the previous week I wondered what Mistress had planned for me now. At least now, I thought, I will get some attention from Mistress….

    On Tuesday morning I sent my morning text to Mistress and waited (checking my phone every 5 minutes for her response as I always do). At 9am a reminder appeared on my phone. It said ‘Be a good boy’. Mistress had obviously been into my IPhone account and set it up for me. I sent her a text and told her that I had no choice but to be ‘a good boy’ as I was now locked in chastity for her. Again there was no response. And this was when my real turmoil and distress started. I realised as the day progressed without any contact at all from my Mistress that I was now locked and helpless, and maybe I would remain in fetish exile until my next session in 2 weeks time! Mistress had my phone and PC firmly under her control. The only fun website I could access was Miss Deelight’s through my phone. I was still locked out of Twitter on my phone and PC.

    Mistress had actually told me that she had lifted the restrictions on Twitter through my phone. When I told her that it still didn’t work at some point in the previous week she suggested that I should delete the Twitter App and then re-install it. I had done as suggested and deleted the App, only to find that Mistress had placed a restriction on my phone that prevented me from installing Apps! And again as was the case the previous week there was no stimulation from Mistress. I really did feel quite desperate.

    I have to confess that being so utterly powerless made me feel very horny indeed. But it also led to much mental turmoil throughout the day. I kept telling myself not to text again. I really didn’t want to annoy Mistress. Twice I wrote texts and twice I deleted them. I checked my phone over and over. Maybe Mistress had sent a text earlier in the day and it had not got through to me? A friend of mine had told me that he had sent a text to me that I had never received. Maybe Mistress had set me a task and was awaiting its completion. But still I didn’t text. At 10pm I went to bed feeling quite proud of myself for not bothering Mistress.

    I woke at 5am on Wednesday morning with Mistresses property straining against its cage. I checked my phone to find a message from Mistress that had arrived after I had gone to bed. She wanted to know how her property was. I replied, and started my ‘phone watch’. I wondered if I might be spared just a little of her time today. To say that I was desperate for some attention would be a gross understatement.

    And in case anyone is wondering, there was no anger from me in any of this. I love what Mistress does to me however difficult things get and however screwed up I feel as a result. It is her absolute control of my fetish world that I have emotionally and financially signed up for until at least the start of 2017. I know that she will take me on whatever journey she chooses for me. And I will remain grateful for every moment of it.

    This morning she did send me a text. She told me that she had deliberately sent me a text after my normal bedtime, knowing that I would read it in the early hours and not be able to return to sleep. She was as always correct. I responded and thanked her and took the opportunity to ask if I could try to escape her grip on my phone. I had found an option that suggested if I pressed the button it would remove her management of it. I am by nature an escapologist. I need to test my bonds to know that I am truly stuck. I guessed that if I did press the ‘remove management’ button I would be blocked by the fact that Mistress had imposed a password restriction on my phone. But I felt compelled to try anyway. Sometimes Mistress will allow me to test my bonds, but not today. I was swiftly informed that if I did try and remove her control of my phone that I would receive 12 strokes of the cane when I next attended the HOD in two weeks time. There is one thing that I am very clear on. If Mistress threatens a punishment, and her slave chooses to disregard that threat, then she will deliver the promised punishment without variation or hesitation. She is like any good Mother in this regard. She knows that hollow threats are counterproductive and that the consistent application of authority is a kindness in the end. As a slave who hates the cane my decision was easy. I will now never know if the ‘remove management’ button does what it suggests!

    What came next really surprised me….

    Sometimes I think that Mistress can see deep into my fetish soul (or maybe it was something to do with my response to her threat of 12 strokes of the cane). The truth is that, whilst such a threat is indeed effective, I have known Mistress long enough now that if she decides that I will benefit from a good beating at the HOD, she will come up with some very good reasons to do so!  It makes me rather fatalistic about it I guess.

    Without me conveying any of this to her Mistress sent me a startling text. It was a screen shot of my phones ‘recent calls’ screen together with a text that told me that Mistress had ‘other ways to control me’ and that I had ‘better not step out of line’. The inference of course was that she could and would phone my friends and family listed on the screen if I pushed the boundaries that she had set for me. I still have no idea of how she managed to access and screen shot my phone. What I do know is that it sent a shiver through my body and her property started dribbling uncontrollably.

    And so this is where the next phase of my torment commenced. It became clear that, over the previous couple of days, Mistress had moved me from a state of desperately missing any form of stimulation, contact or control to one where she had exerted total control through chastity and the risk of exposure to my friends and family. There were moments over the next few hours where I just didn’t know what to do with myself. The feeling of total helplessness and submission were overwhelming. They were overwhelming in a wonderful way but came in waves of intensity that were difficult to bear. I knew that the only way that I could make the intensity subside would be by having an orgasm. But that was made impossible by the device. Of course this knowledge just made matters worse. In my desperation I even considered committing the ultimate sin and removing the device. Would Mistress really check the lock number when I was next at the HOD? I do always have to send her a picture but I wasn’t sure that she ever actually checked it. It was only a fleeting thought and I felt guilty for even considering it. I thought about sending Mistress a text to ask her to allow me to release myself but knew of course that would be rejected and that it would make matters even worse. I coped for about another 5 minutes and then thought that I would ask Mistress one more time if she would allow me back onto Twitter. It had now been over 2 weeks since I had last been allowed on, and how I had missed it. It at least might prove something of a distraction. I sent Mistress a polite text. Well in truth it was more of a humiliatingly, drivelling email begging to be allowed back onto twitter. Her response surprised me, and in a way let me off the hook as far as my torment was concerned. Mistress told me that she had actually released the block on Twitter on my PC the day before and so I should be able to view it. It was as if Mistress had untied my wrists and told me that I was free to go. I instantly calmed down. It is so exciting when I am being controlled by Mistress, but when I came to realise that it was actually something else more mundane preventing me from accessing Twitter it turned into an annoying PC problem. Worse still it was likely that it would result in me having to ask Mistress to help me sort out my PC. I hate bothering Mistress with such things. I hate being a burden to her. I decided that I should try and resolve things myself. I tried all sorts of things but to no avail (and yes I did turn the PC off and on again!). In the end I did have to ask Mistress to take a look at what was preventing me from accessing Twitter. I am still not sure what the problem was but at some point Mistress texted me the following day and confirmed that I was able to look at Twitter again. In truth as soon as I logged on successfully I devoured it! I tried to look at all of the tweets, but there had just been too many. Instead I went onto Mistresses profile and enjoyed all of her tweets and posts. There was one in particular that made me stop and wonder. Apparently Sissy Mouse had had an unauthorised orgasm at home! There but for the grace of god go I, I thought. I had been so close to committing the same offence but the fear of the consequences had stopped me just in time. I wondered what the punishment might be. I am pretty sure we will learn the outcome at some point. That is if Mistress allows Sissy Mouse to live to tell the tale.

    I sent a text to Mistress and thanked her for allowing me back onto Twitter. I also told her of something that has troubled me for some time. To cut a long story short Mistresses property does not always behave as it did when it was in its youthful heyday. Goodness knows I do get horny, and yes it dribbles away as good as any chaps might, but it doesn’t always get hard when it jolly well should. This is particularly true when Mistress has me in front of a camera but it is also true in my day to day existence as well. For me a good erection is a rarity and I really miss it. I asked Mistress if she would give me permission to get a prescription for Viagra. Mistress texted back and told me that as far as she was concerned there was absolutely nothing wrong with her property and that I didn’t need the little blue pills. She went on to point out that she needed to be able to lock me up again before I could leave the HOD, and that it would be no good if she tried to do that whilst I had a drug induced 10 hour hard on! She was of course right on the second point but I have to say that it left me a little disappointed.  I didn’t tell her this of course. As far as I am concerned Mistress does know what is best for me and I had at least opened up about something that hadn’t been mentioned before.

    On Friday I wrote to Mistress and made a different request. This time it was to be allowed to write to a Findom whose Twitter feed I had always enjoyed in order to tell her how much I liked it. I also asked Mistress if it would be ok for me to send this other lady a small gift of appreciation. Mistress kindly gave me her permission to do both things, and so I did. It seems only fair to do so. Some Mistresses put a huge amount of time and effort into what they publish. It seems only right to thank them for doing so. Within a couple of hours the Findom in question had e mailed me to thank me for my thoughtfulness. She instructed me to thank Miss Deelight for allowing me to contact her and to ensure that I served Miss Deelight well. It was something of a ‘feel good moment’ for me, and I hope for her also. I did indeed thank Miss Deelight for allowing me to do this and I know that I will serve her to the best of my abilities for as long as she is willing to put up with me.

    And then on Saturday Mistress sent me another text about Viagra. She did something that happens very, very, rarely. She changed her mind! I had not raised the question or referred to it since Mistress had refused my original request. But here she was texting me to say that I could get some, but that she would decide if and when I could use them. She went on to say that she thought they would provide a great opportunity for ‘fun’. I could almost imagine the wicked smile on her face as she composed the text. My request had been made to try to overcome an embarrassing problem. Now I began to wonder if Mistress had discovered her very own WMD to use against me. I thanked her for her revised decision and set about getting some. I am really looking forward to experiencing proper erections again but can’t help thinking about how they might be used to torment me. It is like so much of my adventure with Miss Deelight, incredibly exciting but frightening at the same time. I did some internet research to discover that I could complete a simple on line questionnaire, which would be reviewed by a doctor who would decide if I should have a prescription. By 5pm I had 16 little blue pills tucked away for future use! I sent Mistress a picture of them and asked if I could remove my device and try one out that night. Mistress totally ignored me, and my request. It was what I deserved. What a ridiculous suggestion. I will just have to wait until Mistress decides that the time is right.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – Subtle MindFucking

    I do enjoy twisting the mind of my Slaves and with Slave Taquin it is oh so very easy to do!


    On Sunday I sent my blog to Mistress as required. Her only response that day was ‘great blog’. That was all I needed to hear. I was happy.
    On Monday Mistress set me a writing task. Writing tasks always get to me as inevitably they lead me to disclose the thoughts in my mind and help to remind me of the hopelessness of my own position. The task was quite straightforward in terms of what was required, but very difficult to actually complete. I was to write a poem about being the Slave of Miss Deelight. I am not sure if I have written a poem in my life before. The problem was not knowing what I wanted to say. That would be easy. The problem was to ensure that my words actually followed the structural requirements of a poem. Following a little google research I decided to use the form known as a Cinquain. It is the sort of format that you might hear being recited by a very earnest young man in a back street bar listened to by an equally earnest audience, nodding appreciatively, but I felt it would work for me. This is what I sent to Mistress.
    The life of a slave to Miss Deelight
    Absolute, Total.
    Enslaving, Unwavering, Commanding
    Power stripped away and used without hesitation.
    Inescapable, Control
    Submitting, Enduring, Surrendering
    Total reliance on my Mistress
    Controlled, Measured
    Searing, Stinging, Engulfing
    Delivered with compassion
    Thoughtful, Tender
    Caring, Nurturing, Enriching
    Warmth guidance and support when most needed
    Tied, Helpless
    Restricting, Controlling, Enslaving
    All physical power stripped away
    Fear, Adrenaline
    Consuming, Frightening, Bullying
    No choice but to obey
    Seductive, Inaccessible
    Tantalising, Tormenting, Exasperating 
    Beyond reach but close enough to dream
    Control, Confidence
    Infuriating, Exasperating, Distressing
    An ultimate expression of sovereignty 
    Release, Relief
    Overwhelming, Astonishing, Breath-taking 
    A precious gift from my Mistress
    Having submitted it I sent Mistress a text to let her know it was with her in her emails but also took the opportunity to say that if she felt it was a bit too laboured my alternative submission would be:
    There was a young lady in Wales,
    of whom I had heard many tales.
    She tied me up tight,
    and then slept through the night.
    That wonderful young lady in Wales.
    Certainly less earnest but probably no better! Mistress seemed to enjoy them anyway.
    It was later that evening that Mistress sent me the text that, following a day of writing induced torment had the biggest impact on me this week. It was just a short text that informed me that as time went by  Mistress was very slowly and very steadily tightening her grip. As I thought about the truth contained within those words Mistresses property bulged in its cage.
    On Tuesday life got very busy for me for other reasons, but it didn’t prevent Mistress from winding me up by disclosing that she had been ‘thoroughly planning your session’. The session that Mistress referred to was now only 2 days away. And how I looked forward to it. We had had to cancel my last session and it was now almost 9 weeks since I had seen her last. I was pretty damn desperate!
    It was on Wednesday morning that I first noticed an instruction emailed to me the previous day. Mistress had told me that I was to learn my poem off by heart in order that I would be able to recite it to her at my session the following day. My first reaction was that I didn’t have a chance. But then I thought it through. There were 9 verses to learn, each quite short, and I knew that I would be able to break off from a couple of jobs I was working on to spend the time to do it. I set about the task at about 9am. By 3pm I was totally exasperated! I had learnt the first verse, and every single time I started to memorise the second verse I totally forgot the first one. As the day progressed it got more and more difficult. I felt the panic rise up inside me knowing that the outcome would not be pleasant. The more I tried, the worse it got. By 5pm I realised how badly it was all going and emailed Mistress to own up to my inability to complete the task set. The response from Mistress ‘then you will be punished…’ I knew someone who would find this to be very amusing and so I sent a text to my vanilla lady friend who knows all about my fetish life. She is the only vanilla friend who I would  trust with such knowledge. It is not that I don’t trust my other friends, I really do, it is just that I think they would be shocked and (unintentionally) judgemental about it. I sent her a text and explained my predicament. Following a light hearted exchange of texts my friend sent me her final verdict on my situation. It just said ‘you’re doomed’ with a smiley face!
    The following day I walked into the HOD certain of one thing, I was in for a tough time. I had been set a task that for me had proved totally impossible. Mistress was not going to be impressed.
    I locked the door behind me and walked into the dungeon to find Mistress waiting for me. She was, as always, looking stunning. Today she was dressed in a figure hugging black dress with enough of her bra and cleavage showing to get my heart racing. This time I remembered to take the opportunity to compliment her on how wonderful she looked. I wasn’t going to make that particular mistake again. I remembered what happened the last time! I was told to go through into the lounge. Mistress sat in her chair whilst I remained standing on the other side of the room. Mistress wanted to know how I was and so I gave her a quick update. All was good. I then proceeded to give her a couple of gifts. One was in recognition of how wonderful a Mistress she is to me, and particularly to thank her for the time that she had taken recently to take control of my PC and phone. The other was a small gift to apologise for the fact that I had annoyed her during my desperate attempts for attention when she had isolated me from the fetish world and herself. Mistress was pleased with the gifts and thanked me for them. She then took the opportunity to tell me that I was to take part in a custom video that she needed to make. It was to involve cashmere gloves and tickling. The next question was the easiest one for me to answer. Mistress wanted to know if I would be able to cum if she masturbated me whilst wearing cashmere gloves. I hadn’t had an orgasm by Mistresses wonderful hands for more than 8 weeks. That wouldn’t be a problem at all! At least it sounded like I was going to get an orgasm today.
    Once this was done I was told to give Mistress my phone before making my way upstairs into the room with the bed. As I made my way up the stairs I had to make my way past a box on one of the treads. The photo on the outside was of an electric ‘wand’. This was not something this scared slave needed to see at this point. I have learnt at such times that is best not to say anything, and so I didn’t. I was to remain dressed and to sit on the side of the bed. Mistress then bound my hands with bandages in order to ensure that I couldn’t try to undo any shackles, blindfolded and gagged me and told me to lay face down on the bed. Once there she attached leather cuffs to my wrists and ankles and joined them all together with shackles to form a hog tie. And that is where I stayed for the next hour, comfortably bound, unable to escape trying to remember just the first verse of the poem. I was however resigned to my fate and knew that even if I managed to remember that first verse I would face punishment for not knowing more. There really was nothing more I could do about it now and so I relaxed into my situation and even nodded off on a couple of occasions.
    Once the hour was up Mistress came back upstairs and released me. I had to undress, go downstairs (past the electric wand again) and sit on the chair in the middle of the dungeon. Mistress buckled my wrists to the sides of chair, tied my thighs and ankles to the chair and stood in front of me looking so powerful. Normally this wold have turned me into a dribbling mess. Not today however. Much as I enjoyed my predicament I was somewhat distracted by what I knew was going to come next. I knew that I was going to be instructed to recite the poem. Desperately I tried to recite it in my head knowing that the question was about to be asked. Even the first verse had gone! 
    ‘Ok slave, I want to hear your poem now’. As Mistress said the words she leaned forward with her head over my right shoulder and her cleavage just millimetres from my face and repeated her instruction ‘Ok slave, I want to hear your poem now’. I didn’t stand a chance! I managed 4 words ‘Domination. Absolute, total. Enslaving,’ and then blanked. Mistress stood back and told me how unimpressed she was. Over and over she made me try to recite the poem. And over and over I failed. I knew I was now in trouble. And I all I could do was laugh. My attempt was so pathetic it was comical. Luckily Mistress laughed with me, before walking back into the lounge and then returning with my phone. She stood in front of me again with my phone in her hands looked me straight in the eyes and said ‘maybe I should contact your vanilla lady friend to see what she thinks’. I knew that look. It was the look that Mistress gives you before pushing your boundaries that little bit further than you ever thought was possible. Except this was a really big step as far as I was concerned. Mistress knows the first names of several people in my vanilla world but had never threatened to contact one before. All I could say in response was that my friend knew where I was today and had laughed at the task I had been set.
    Mistress found my friend in my contacts and started to compose a text on my phone. I asked her what she was writing but she refused to tell me and just continued to type away with a happy, and rather evil, glint in her eye. Mistress finished typing and pressed ‘send’. ‘Well that should do it’ she said with look of great satisfaction on her face. Again I asked what she had written. Mistress told me that she had said something along the lines of ‘hello I am MD. I thought I would get in touch with you as our mutual friend is a bit tied up at the moment. Would you like a picture?’. Following the session I looked at the text trail that had been left on my phone. There were several texts from both Mistress and my friend. It sounded like they were both enjoying the opportunity to chat! I copied a brief extract below:
    Mistress: Nice to meet you! I wouldn’t say teasing…. More…. Tormenting 😂😂
    Friend: He’s waited a long time for today. The more torment the better. How was his poem??
    Mistress: He’s useless he got stuck on the 4th word!
    Friend: Oh dear….that’s gonna have some repercussions….😅
    The more torment the better!! What sort of friend says that? Answer: the sort who knows you so well, and is happy and relaxed to chat by text to your dominatrix. One in  a million basically!
    Through all of this Mistresses property had failed to show many signs of enthusiasm. It is such a let down sometimes. But we had laughed a lot. But then Mistress did one of my favourite things. She got a length of thin red rope and proceeded to tie my balls up. And things down below sprang to life.
    And then it all went downhill… I fell into a trap. My brain was mush with thoughts of poems, likely punishments, texts with friends and the fact that I was bound helpless to a chair with my testicles tightly bound. Mistress had walked behind me and said: ‘I have a special treat for you today Taquin. As you have been so generous with your gifts recently I am going to give you a blow job’. My ridiculous answer? ‘really?’ said in a way that sounded as if I thought Mistress was serious. A split second later I realised that there was more chance of hell freezing over than Mistress doing what she had suggested. But by then it was too late. Mistress had let out an amazed laugh had walked in front of me and applied the nipple clamps. That horrible pain gripped me as she laughed and laughed at my mistake. Mistress led a rope up through the chain joining the nipple clamps and gently tugged. Oh how it hurt! Readers of my blogs will know that I don’t handle pain well. It can sometimes be used to force me into a state of deep submission, but I still hate the sensation particularly when applied in short sharp doses. And this was hurting like hell. Mistress pulled the rope tighter and threatened to pull the nipple clamps off by tugging on the rope. I begged her not to. Once Mistress felt that I had learned my lesson she kindly removed the clamps. The pain soared and then, thankfully, subsided.
    Shortly after this Mistress declared that we would now do the filming she required. It involved Mistress wearing lovely soft cashmere gloves that she gently ran all over my body, and tickling. Not something that had previously been on my list of fetishes, but enjoyable none the less. I did enjoy this part of the session however I am always so self-conscious in front of the camera that I am not able to relax properly into the scene. Having said that it did conclude with me being given a fabulous orgasm. And how I needed it!
    Mistress checked her recording, released me from the chair and left me to tidy up my mess. I drove home happy. Todays session had been so different to what I had expected. I had expected a session full of punishment, pain and intensity. Instead it was full of laughter and light-hearted banter. You never know what you are going to get at the hands of Miss Deelight. This is one of the many joys of being her slave.
    And this is where my story will need to end. My time on my PC is almost up. Yes, once again Mistress has locked down my phone and PC. Yet again I am isolated from my fetish world and find myself totally reliant on Mistress. It is now Sunday and Mistress has kindly allowed me back onto my PC to write this blog. I haven’t seen twitter for days, have no access to the internet for fun and games and Mistress holds all of my favourite videos and files on her PC.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Week 44

    In this edition of Sissy Mouse’s journal, a stark warning was issued which has since been ignored.  Watch this space in the not too distant future as serious punishment lies ahead.

    Video 13.00_06_36_18.Still004

    Distance control journal Week 44

    This week starts a new direction with Mistress. As you would have read in last week’s journal Mistress has decided that she would like me to join her Hypnobot scheme. I have a great interest in hypnosis. The power of suggestion and control of the subconscious, coupled with an already deep submission and trust of Mistress ticks a lot of boxes for me, even more so when also encompassing my interest in cross dressing. I had lost interest in being a sissy, I even messaged Mistress in my lost days to tell her it even repulsed me. However, as we know Mistress always knows best and she decided that a smart Hypnosissybot was my calling and she will no doubt be correct. This type of smart dress is so far removed from my normal scruffy appearance, whatever work I am doing it’s usually dirty and messy in some way so this embraces a complete polar opposite of me. I also accept that I will never be able to pull off a convincing female look, like for example Sissy Annie May. However, Hypnobot’s are masked because they are not human so another tick in the box.

    During last week Mistress informed me to purchase a cheap smart skirt suit. This was to gauge size and would help me get a feel for it before the joys of going to buy a much better suit with Mistress and certainly before I can meet any other Hypnobot. I found something online ordered it and it duly arrived in a couple of days. This then completed my instructions for my first day of this week’s distance control. From now on I am to write my distance control journal on a Sunday dressed as Hypnosissybot and will wear the following. The suit with a shirt and tie covering false boobs, a steel chastity belt, butt plug, stockings and heels, with a corset added later to enforce the strictness of being a Hypnobot.

    I duly dress as instructed and immediately the restriction that the clothes bring is quite surprising. I message Mistress (or from now on if dressed like this I have to address her as Commander) that I am dressed appropriately and send a picture to confirm. Mistress replies that she is reasonably pleased with my efforts and that I may begin writing my journal.

    Sitting down to write my journal is a very new experience. The restriction of the suit, the tightness of the shirt collar, the plug being held in by the chastity belt and my legs held together by the skirt all makes this very odd. It does however arouse me greatly and this is one of Mistress’s plans that being a Hypnosissybot will arouse me more than anything I have done before and when I am not I will not feel aroused to further enforce my mental chastity. Once I have written my blog, read and re-read several times to check for spelling and grammatical errors I submit my blog and return to normality. Mistress just after messages me to enquire how it made me feel? I reply that I have never considered the escapism of a fully immersed roleplay scenario on top of my natural submission. Mistress then sends me a link to her Hypnobot clip collection to watch and consider it home work. I thank Mistress and spend the next hour or so watching the clips. I know I said this before but it really is a joy to watch Mistress’s clips and it was very interesting to watch how a fully programmed Hypnobot functions and the control Mistress has over it. Once I have watched them I email Mistress my thoughts and one of the things that will be difficult to overcome is the two sides this will bring to me and how sissy mouse and Hypnosissybot will function and also separate. This I feel will be a process of fluidity.

    On Monday after my usual restless night with all the new ideas running around my head I message Mistress, wish her a nice day and await a reply. Mistress replies that she has considered my email and agrees that we will have to find a place for both sissy mouse and HSB. Later in the day Mistress posts Slave Taquin’s latest journal and I message her to ask how does he cope? Mistress merely replies “I am evil” which I light heartedly reply that I would never had guessed. It is times like this that one realises that through our own email and messages to Mistress you slowly dig yourself an ever bigger hole.

    Tuesdays message to Mistress informed her I have a quiet day and this was replied to with instructions to dress as Hypnosissybot and write the following 50 times “I can’t wait to embrace life as a Hypnosissybot, it is my calling and my destiny”. I thank Mistress for her instructions and inform her I will message her when I am ready to start. Once I have done a few things I dress as instructed and message the Commander. This time the restriction has increased with the arrival of a corset. This does feel so restrictive and within seconds I wonder how Mistress sits down let along carry out session’s whilst wearing one but I guess as with all things you get used to it. I start writing my lines and I am about 15 lines in when the Commander messages me and requests a picture. I duly do this and also hold up the lines I have written so far. Once I have finished the 50 I message the Commander to inform her to which she replies that she hopes her HSB is suitable horny and submissive. I reply that I am indeed and my reply is simply “Wonderful”.

    Wednesday arrives and I awake to a message from Mistress simply saying “I want you to bring your lines with you on Monday” This is my next and very much looked forward to session with Mistress. I thank Mistress for my message and wish her a nice day. Mistress replies that I am to edge 3 times today once with pegs on my balls, she also reminds me that it is less than a week until my Hypnosissybot programming starts. I thank Mistress for my task and confess to her that I have been tempted to pleasure myself and my task will not help my desperate situation. Mistress replies with a very clear and concise message written thus “DON’T YOU DARE SUCCUMB TO TEMPATION EVER!!” I reply “Message fully understood Mistress”. I don’t think I have ever had such a stern message from Mistress! I carry out my edges throughout the day and message Mistress later to thank her my excruciating edges. My reply was simply Hahaha! You are most welcome. I know I don’t have the additional annoyance of a chastity cage but this period of denial is driving me crazy. I understand why Mistress is doing it. It tests my obedience, submission and reminds me of her control. The stupidity of my masochistic side is wondering what this period of teasing and denial would feel like in 6 months or even a year with no orgasm.

    Thursday’s message to Mistress is replied later in the day to inform me she has a very busy and enquired how I am. My day was not going well and Mistress leaves me to it.

    On Friday I message Mistress that I have some domestic things that I will need to attend to over the next few days and Mistress kindly informs me that she is going to be very busy and will leave me to it. Mistress also informs me that she has her new Female Hypnobot attending today. I wish her a great day and get on with mine.

    Because of my domestic duties I am granted permission to write my journal on Saturday. I message Mistress and wish her a good day and dress appropriately to write my journal. Whilst I am writing this I remember something that Slave Taquin wrote in one of his journals about Mistress tweeting messages that you are convinced are aimed at you. On Wednesday Mistress tweeted a picture of her sitting on her throne with the message “Show Mistress how you wank that pathetic piece of skin” My 3 edge day! On Friday Mistress tweets 2 pictures, one of the shiny shoes of her and her 2 Hypnobot’s and the other a gif of her dressed smartly, teasing a dildo whilst saying “I’m your boss, you do things my way. Understood?”

    The mind fuckery continues and I thank you Mistress for it.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Week 42

    My pet Mousey has his head firmly back in the game now and is tightly buckled, with an inescapable lock, to the controller-coaster. As his Domina I can breathe a sigh of relief that a very good slave has returned to his true, submissive self.  And there is so much more to come!


    As always my distance control week starts on a Sunday and my message to Mistress was as always to wish her a nice day and this was duly returned from Mistress. No tasks or instructions today. Later in the evening I received an unexpected message from Mistress to inform me she had viewed my lunch off the toilet seat video. This had two consequences; 1, I was wearing a new pink thong I had found which had little bells on it so as you walk it sounds like the bell on a cat collar which Mistress liked very much (read Tuesday) and 2, Mistress thanks me for providing more blackmail leverage. When you read about this being said to someone else it doesn’t have the same effect than when you receive that message yourself. In the past that would have struck me with fear but now all it does is remind me to do as I am told, accept any tasks graciously and everything will be fine (For the avoidance of doubt this is fully consensual). My sleep that night was more fraught than it usually is.
    On Monday my message to Mistress was replied to around 3 hours later with a simple question “Is there a McDonalds near you?” I reply straight away that there was. Mistress then does not reply for around 2 hours. During that time all matter of things are going through my mind including licking a milkshake off the toilet floor or eating a burger off the toilet seat. Mistress’s instructions when they arrived made me wince. I was to video myself stroking my cock for 5 minutes in the toilet cubicle. I have done many things but never have I stroked my cock in a public toilet and the thought of this was quite scary. I thanked Mistress for my instructions and then agonised about when best to go and decided on around 2pm ish. I park up and the car park is worryingly full and head in, look for the toilet and luckily it’s empty. I set my phone to video and place it on the seat and stand in front of it with my trousers and thong around my ankles and I am about to press record when the door to the toilet squeaks open. I stand there quiet for a moment and can’t hear anything, it’s not exactly a very big toilet. The reason for this is I have to say “Hello Mistress” at the start of the video and I can feel myself going red. After about a minute I hear nothing press record and start. Getting it to stand to attention took a few strokes due to the fear of doing what I was doing. I then stroked my cock for what seemed like an eternity as I watched the record timer slowly count to 5 minutes. With the toilet door still squeaking open and closed, added to this the toilets were also being cleaned at the time. Finally, 5 minutes were up and I could put it away. I then had to wait for a bit to get rid of my erection, which was not easy because once I had completed the task I then started to enjoy my situation. After a few minutes of calming thoughts and out I went and made a mistake in treating myself to a Mcflurry. I thought this would be a good way of proving to Mistress that I was at McDonalds and I had done the task. After sending the picture Mistress replied with “Did I say you could get a Mcflurry?” which makes me start to squirm some more and I quickly send a message to apologise. Mistress replies and eases my squirming by asking where was hers? I reply that the one I bought was for her but I couldn’t see her in the car park so couldn’t let it go to waste! A little while after Mistress messages to enquire if I have enjoyed my task. Which of course I have, it’s the mind that makes the tasks much worse than what they are.
    Tuesday arrives with the usual lack of sleep due to my many mind whirring’s an almost constantly aroused cock and yesterday’s task. I message Mistress with my plans for the day and wish her a nice day and also inform of the great amount of mind fuckery she bestowed on me with yesterdays task. Mistress replies that she is pleased I had enjoyed my Mild! Humiliation and duly reminded me that I am her slave. Mistress then asks if I have said my said my mantra today. I reply that I have along with wearing female deodorant and panties. Mistress a little later enquired if I am wearing my thong with the bells attached. I reply that I am not. Mistress tells me that she likes the jingly thong and to put it on at lunch. When I return at lunchtime I find that Mistress has also visited my new pc via TeamViewer and taken over as administrator and left me with a lovely Barbie screen saver and a pink background to everything. I thank Mistress for her pc visit and inform her I have put the jingly thong on. This thong only has two tiny bells but they jingle with gusto and nervously I return to work. I am back at work about 10 minutes when the chap who I share my unit with comes up to me and asks if there is a cat running around because her can hear a cat collar. So standing dead still, I say “I didn’t hear anything” and then have to wait for him to walk off! I message Mistress who of course finds this very amusing.
    Mistress then messages me with an unusual task. I am to DM slave Taquin via twitter and ask him how Mistress had been humiliating him today once he tells me I have to inform him of my McDonalds task. “Double humiliation” said Mistress. I won’t say what his task was, that is for his journal but we collectively squirmed about our tasks over a few messages. I confirm to Mistress that I have done as she instructed to which I then get a message that makes me both very honoured and very nervous. The message read “Sometime in the future you are going to take me out for dinner and you are going to be an incredibly obedient slave”.
    My Wednesday message to Mistress wishes her a nice day and to thank her for taking the time to work on my pc and how much freedom I am still enjoying on it. Mistress replies that she has many other slaves to torment and my freedom will wither all in good time! As Mistress has a busy day my instruction is 4 edges throughout the day. I thank Mistress for my task and spend the day adding to my ever-growing frustration.
    Thursday message to Mistress was replied to with instructions to video myself saying my mantra and to send it to her. I duly send the video and inform Mistress. Mistress replies that she has a busy day but if anything evil pops into her head she might be in touch!
    Friday arrives and I awake to a message from Mistress and some instructions which due to being a bumbling idiot I read completely wrong. Late morning Mistress messages me to ask for my outlook password which I duly send her. I am now at a stage of control with Mistress that there is no point asking why or holding back because Mistress knows best and that is all that matters. When I return to my pc later in the day I am now a child user with all the joy that will bring Mistress in the coming months and the annoyance and frustration it will bring me. What makes it worse is there is a message box that comes up saying “Adults on this computer can see what you are looking at”. No private browsing options although my browsing history will probably be quite dull. I don’t really look at porn. I am in a bad enough state as it is without trying to add to it.
    Later in the day Mistress sends me a message simply saying “Edge yourself asap” more frustration!
    My message on Saturday informs Mistress of my plans for the day and that I am working with my mate. A while later Mistress informs me that when we stop for lunch I am to wear my nipple clamps. I know I have to do the task and all I can think is will they show through my t-shirt because as much as my mate knows about my adventures with Mistress (He has even been on the end of a video from her that made him squirm) this makes it more humiliating. So the time comes I nip to the toilet and put them on and luckily they don’t really show that much and start a slightly painful lunch. I wear them for a total of 47 minutes once lunch has finished and remove them and message Mistress to thank her. She then comes back with “I should have told you to get your friend to remove them”. That made me squirm more than any message I have ever had!
    As another week ends I would like to thank Mistress for her attentions and for making me squirm this week with new adventures.

    Do you crave the contact and control from a dominant female and wish you could experience the kind of mind-fuckery that my other slaves receive? Click here to apply for sms training and control.

  • Slave Sissy Mouse – Distance Control Journal – Week 41

    Sissy Mouse is finally making a come back after far too long with his head up his squeaky little backside.  They all come scurrying back eventually… especially with the right kind of bait……

    Distance control journal week 41 A week of teasing.
    Week 41 the last one I wrote was week 27! The reason for that is Mistress has been very kind and allowed me a massive amount of slack due to the constant ups and downs in my life. I have still had the pleasure of enjoying some great tasks over the last 14 weeks and a couple of sessions that you would have already read about.
    However, this week was a return to the saddle and to Mistress tormenting me like never before.

    Sunday was a quiet day because both me and Mistress had real life stuff to do but come Monday the pressure started to grow. Mistress posted my cp session write up on her website and when I read it my heart sank because I had made some errors despite reading and correcting many things before sending it. I hate making errors as I believe it reflects badly on Mistress and her website. I do suffer from slight dyslexia and have to always re read anything I write many times but I still think it looks sloppy. I messaged Mistress to apologise for the errors and await her response, Mistress knows about my slight dyslexia from the early distance control write ups some of which were riddled with errors and is of course very understanding. However, Mistress does like to keep me on my toes and make me squirm and thus replied that there would be extra punishments at a later date. Later in the day I was lucky to receive a video message from Mistress informing me that the time had come for us to do some more public humiliation. This both thrills and scares me in equal measures added to the fact that Mistress outlined that we would be doing it in normal clothes but with me wearing a cock shock collar to ensure my utter and complete obedience. Mistress also emailed me a link to her latest joi tease clip with the heading “you can look; you can touch but you can’t cum”. I watched it straight away and I don’t know if it’s the fact that I haven’t had an orgasm for about two months but the clip was both mesmerising and torture. Following the instructions but knowing there would be no final release at the end was painful to say the least. This coupled with the video message got me in a right state and some of you reading this may say well you could just have a cheeky orgasm and Mistress wouldn’t know! This is true but this is about trust and I can’t deny that I would like to be in chastity full time but it just doesn’t work for me physically so mental chastity it is, also if I orgasm Mistress will know because I lose my submissive state.
    Tuesday arrives and after a very sleepless night with my mind whirring about public humiliation and being incredibly horny from the video clip I message Mistress to inform her of the state she has got me in. Mistress replies later in the day that I should watch the clip again and stroke myself slowly through out. I thank Mistress for my instructions and all I can think is my balls are going to explode. I watch the clip at lunchtime and message Mistress to thank her for my painful denial to which my reply is simply “You’re welcome”. I hear nothing more from Mistress today.
    Wednesdays message to Mistress is replied later in the day with another video message and more teasing about our public humiliation trip and suggesting that I might be wearing both the shock cock collar and the shock collar around my neck whilst going “walkies” Mistress caps it off by informing me to eat something disgusting for lunch ending with “and you know where to eat it from”. Referring of course to the toilet seat. I thank Mistress for my task and enquire if she would like a photo or video for proof, my very to the point reply was “Video”. As I am not alone at my workshop today I have to do it at home. I was contemplating doing it in a public toilet for the ultimate in degradation but it dawned on me after buying the meal I hate the most (macaroni cheese) that I couldn’t heat it up. So lunchtime comes and as instructed lay my lovely meal out on the toilet seat and record my joy for Mistress. Once I finish I then try to send the video but for some reason it will not upload, In my flapping I manage to delete my entire message history with Mistress, then have a tantrum and throw my phone across the room!! After putting it back together and calming down I manage to send it as a Dropbox link. I await Mistress’s viewing of the video and her comments!
    On Thursday as always I message Mistress but don’t expect to hear anything from her as it’s her day for doing her stuff. Mistress did kindly message me later that day to thank me for a gift I had sent her.
    Friday arrives and my message was returned with instructions for more slow stroking at lunchtime although thankfully not to the joi clip this time.
    I know Mistress has family stuff to do on Saturday however my morning message is still replied to but other than that it is a quiet day task wise.
    As always I am very thankful and grateful for any attention that Mistress bestows on me and hopefully this will be the end of long breaks due to my ups and downs. When you have weeks like this you do realise how much you miss the ebb and flow of one’s life under Mistress’s distance control.

  • Slave Jay – Distance Control Journal – Week 5

    Last week my Slave received his new chastity device, a natural progression of course for long term control. This week I had been breaking him in gently to get him used to the new device and the new direction of his journey…..

    Video 4.00_02_41_25.Still003

    Day 1

    Today was a quiet but nonetheless good day. Mistress tells me she will allow me a release today. She tells me she would have sent a video but did not have access to her laptop, this was wholly unnecessary, I had two weeks of built up teasing.

    Day 2

    Mistress instructs me to think of another fantasy involving my worship of her. It was a little more difficult this time around as I was trying to make it as different from the first as possible. I spent most of my day at work completely distracted.

    When I got home my device had been delivered, Mistress instructs me to try it on and wear it for an hour. It was immediately clear that I had erred in the sizing and should have ordered a shorter size. Mistress reminds me I should have waited for her input before ordering. I felt like I had disappointed her and so set about completing today’s task, hopefully to a standard that pleased her.

    Mistress instructs me to bring the device to work tomorrow, she says I should trial the bigger device but it’s likely I will need to get a shorter one, I’m already sure of this and inform her I will order tomorrow.

    Day 3

    Half way through work Mistress tells me to put my device on. I put it on and try to ignore it as I get on with work but it’s going to take a lot of getting used to. It’s not unbearably uncomfortable but just awkward.

    After a few hours Mistress asks how the device is and informs me she will be testing it soon.

    Not long before I’m due to leave I receive a video from Mistress. It is relentlessly teasing, I was aware to see how her property would cope with being caged.

    Mistress tells me to remove the device but I am to wear it to bed tonight. It was a very difficult night, I woke up 4 or 5 times bursting at the bars of the cage. It was painful and the ill fit did not do me any favours.

    Day 4

    The sleepless night left me extremely tired today. Mistress enquired if it was exciting though, I wasn’t really sure how to reply to that. In my haze I said that the fantasy of chastity may be more exciting than the reality.

    Mistress instructs me to edge to the thought of her teasing me to the point of orgasm and then sitting on my face as she locks me up.

    When I inform her the edge is complete she comments that it didn’t take long. Attempting to be witty I replied saying I like to be efficient at work when I’m not falling asleep. I don’t think it was received as intended by Mistress as she asked if everything was getting too much for me. It’s been testing, no doubt, but I assured her I was ok.

    I’m instructed to edge again in the evening and shortly after I end up falling asleep much earlier than usual, I was exhausted.

    Day 5

    I spent most of the day checking my phone waiting on Mistress’ orders. Late in the evening she sends me a message telling me she has not been well and apologising for the lack of contact. I told her not to worry and to focus on getting better. I’m instructed to wear my chastity device to bed tonight as a reminder of Mistress while she’s not around. The shorter device was delivered today so I put it on before going to sleep. It was a somewhat better night than the previous one, the cage was a lot more comfortable, there was one rogue erection during the night that woke me and kept me up for quite a while but overall an improvement.

    Day 6

    As soon as I wake up I unlock the device for some much needed relief. I enquired how Mistress was feeling today.
    When I get to work Mistress instruct me to put it back on. I’m to lock it with a plastic coded lock and send her a picture. I’m immediately aware that this means I have no idea when I will be allowed out again.

    As with the night it’s much more comfortable but still a little awkward when moving around and needed regular adjustments. Mistress checks in to make sure everything is ok and then sets me a task for when I get home.

    I am to browse the Internet watching porn and send her a link to the five videos I like the most. Maybe she wanted to see what kind of thing gets me going the most but I suspect that might have been immaterial and it was just an exercise in testing the restraint of the device. I spent a couple of hours browsing with varying levels of discomfort before I submitted and sent Mistress what I had.

    With no implicit instruction otherwise I wore the device to bed. It was another difficult night, much more like the first. I woke up several times and struggled to sleep much at all.

    Day 7

    Mistress asks how my night and her property were, after informing her of how it went Mistress mercifully gives me permission to remove the device. She then outline a game she wants to play with me today, it will require me to be ready and waiting all day. In my extreme tiredness I indicate I understand and am ready. It’s only an hour or so later when somebody asks me when I will be picking them up that I remember I had made plans for today. I immediately message Mistress asking if I can postpone the task. Graciously she offers to allow me a rest day and to be ready to continue tomorrow. It’s been a really tough week so I’m very grateful to Mistress for this proposal.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – A Brief Pause

    After the relentless and merciless teasing of last week, I offered a more relaxed and quiet week for my slave in order for him to recuperate. I haven’t yet allowed him his fortnightly release and it’s important to ensure the well-being of my property at all times. Any more teasing without that release could lead to complications. I didn’t stop entirely though, I made sure things were tricky from his on his return from his fishing trip!


    It has been a quiet week this week, primarily due to the fact that I was away from home towards the end of it.

    I had submitted my blog as normal on Sunday. Mistress responded that she had found a small error in it and wanted to know if I could find it. I quickly searched through and actually found two small errors. I corrected them both, apologised to Mistress, and re submitted. Mistress sent me a text and informed me that neither of my corrections were the one that she had spotted and that I should try again. Eventually I found the error that Mistress was referring to and submitted my blog for final approval.

    Monday and Tuesday were relatively quiet. By the end of Tuesday I had run into a problem. Over the previous couple of days my balls had got harder and tighter. This had led to the skin behind the ring of my device getting pulled taught and then inevitably getting sore. Sometimes I really don’t understand my own body. It had happened at a time when the teasing had largely stopped. Having said that I had been incredibly wound up the previous week. Maybe this was the result of that. Whatever the reason was I had to text Mistress to ask to be released from the device. I do know that Mistress will never allow me to cause real physical damage to myself. I was not surprised therefore that she quickly responded with the code to allow me to access the key for my device. I unlocked the device and removed it to check for damage. There was none. The area behind the ring was quite red, but nothing more. I thanked Mistress and told her the good news. This was actually the day that Mistress had originally planned to allow me out of my device in order that I could milk myself (this happens once a month in order to prevent precisely the sort of problem that I had experienced). The previous month I had been required to give myself a ruin, and provide video evidence of me doing it. It was at this point that I started to fantasise about Mistress allowing me to give myself a proper orgasm. Unlikely I know, but just occasionally, very occasionally, (how often do you see a blue moon?) she will.

    Wednesday was my most intense day this week. Mistress was incredibly generous to me today. She sent me the full video of her as a police officer blackmailing a chap who had fallen prey to a Findom. It is an incredible video and Mistress knew that it was going to send me into a spin. And it did. I was instructed to watch it 5 times throughout the day. Each time I was to stroke myself slowly throughout its almost 8 minute duration, and not cum. This was really really difficult. By the end of the day I was desperate for any sort of sexual release, but none was allowed.

    Thursday was spent hoping that Mistress might contact me to allow me my orgasm. Of course this turned out to be the last thing on her mind. Instead she was enjoying herself with the creation of a promotional video. And then I was away for a few days.

    It was whilst I was returning home following my long weekend away that I first noticed I couldn’t access anything on my phone. I sent Mistress a text enquiring if it was as a result of her work. The response that I received a few minutes later was a short video clip of the comedian Bill Bailey exclaiming ‘oh no’! Mistress had locked me out of the internet once again. As soon as I got home I looked at my pc in the workshop. It too was locked. One of the things that I had been really looking forward to on my return was catching up on all the twitter activity that had happened over the weekend. Mistress was denying me this, and as happens when Mistress denies me anything, I started to feel owned once again, and the dribbling commenced. I sent Mistress a text requesting access to my PC. My greatest concern was the fact that I hadn’t written this blog, and was unable to do so without it. Mistress ignored my requests for access and left me to suffer in silence.

  • Slave Jay – Distance Control Journal – Week 4

    Once again, I have chosen to push my slave’s limits just that little bit further.  A natural progression of long term distance control and online domination for those of my slaves who crave cock control, is of course Chastity. So I suggested that my slave begin to research devices. Of course I already knew what device I wanted him to purchase but I know that it would spur some excitement in my pet if I got him to look himself. Unfortunately for my overly eager slave, he went one step further and purchased a device. Had he have waited he would have known that his choice was correct but that the size of the cage was important. A costly mistake in more ways than one. My slave also enjoyed some self bondage this week… read his journal below!


    Day 1

    This week starts with Mistress asking how I feel about chastity. It’s something I have fantasised about before, it seems like a big step though, it’s a little daunting though. Mistress then instructs me to take some measurements of her property and report back.

    Mistress tells me she thinks she wants to try chastity with me and tighten her grip on her property, as I say it’s a little scary but I’m open to the idea, I know Mistress will take good care of me. She tells me she believes it to be the natural progression of my control.

    I’m instructed to stoke continuously for an hour, edging myself to that very thought. It’s been a little while since my last orgasm and my cock is extremely sensitive so I’m basically on the edge as soon as I start. I take it slow to ensure no mistakes are made, it’s intense beyond belief and it’s torture to stop once again without release when the hour is up.

    Day 2

    Mistress instructs me to send her a message when I’m home from work. Mistress tells me to strip and gather some items together – stockings, tape or rope and some lube. I get them together and then Mistress leaves me waiting in anticipation on what is to follow.

    About half an hour later Mistress instructs me to bind my ankles together and await further instructions. She leaves me in this predicament for 10 minutes as my cock grows.

    Mistress then tells me to run the stockings all over my body for 5 minutes imagining it’s her legs running up and down. After the time is up I stop and await further instruction. Another five minutes has passed and Mistress asks how long it’s been and why I didn’t message her back. I apologise and tell her I didn’t realise this was expected and I feared my fate was sealed.

    I’m instructed to put the stockings on, I cut the tape binding my ankles and there’s a sharp pain as I rip it off taking quite a bit of hair with it. When the stocking are on I’m told to live my hand and stroke the head of my cock for five minutes. It’s ridiculously sensitive and when the time is up I ensure I promptly message Mistress this time.

    I’m told no touching for 3 minutes, as my cock bounces around yearning to be stroked. Again I promptly message when the three minutes is up and I’m told to stroke for 5 minutes. I’m then given a choice of heads or tails, I go for tails and there’s a torturous pause before Mistress informs me I will be denied release once again.

    Day 3

    Today began as usual – mantra, message Mistress, tie up her property, get ready for work and await my instructions. But as the day progressed it became clear something was different. Mistress will usually get back to me within a few hours but today I didn’t hear from her for a while. I spent the day constantly checking my phone for messages, even check Mistress’ Twitter for any sign of why I hadn’t heard anything from her. I was starting to wonder if I had done something wrong.

    Just before I was about to leave work I receive a link from Mistress, no accompanying message, no instructions, just a link. I wasn’t sure what to think at this point. I was eager to click but I had messed something up earlier in the day so I thought it best I wait until I get home to find out what was going on.

    When I finally got the chance it was a video of Mistress basically describing every thought That had gone through my head today, it quickly became clear I had been under the control Mistress had desired all day without even knowing, Mistress was engrained within me.

    Day 4

    Today I am instructed to start researching chastity devices. I started by looking at general advice on what I should be considering when looking for a device, including sizing and the pros and cons of the different types available. Once I had processed all that information, which there was an abundance of, I had a few basic ideas of the type of device I was looking for.

    Next I started to look at where I could purchase from and the specific devices that were available. I managed to narrow it down to three or four that met the the criteria I was searching for. Then I began reading user reviews for these devices. Eventually I had pretty much decided on the device I felt I would purchase.

    After giving it some time to ensure I had processed the huge amount of information I had gone through today I decided to take a leap and I ordered the device I had settled on. I sent Mistress a message to let her know thinking she would be pleased to learn her property was a step closer to being locked away and got on With the rest of my evening.

    Day 5

    Mistress messages me while I’m driving in to work. As soon as I read the first line I realise I have made a mistake. She tells me I was not supposed to buy anything without showing her first. I’m not sure if it’s the restless nights or the extra stresses at work this week, but I really should have realised not to make any decisions regarding Mistress’ property without her consent.

    I apologise and send her a link to the device. She tells me that I have made a good choice and that I am going to need some plastic locks, which I purchase straight away, and enquired when it’s due to arrive. She is pleased that her control over me is going to tighten but tells me I will need to be punished for taking bigger steps than instructed and that it is her job to make the decisions. I apologise again and await the fate Mistress decides.

    The waiting was excruciating, I knew it was a long shot but I could only hope that the fact my mistake was due to an over eagerness to please Mistress would draw some leniency. Mistress left me in limbo until the late evening.

    I was instructed to get ten pegs and place them on my balls for at least ten minutes but preferably 15 and to send a photo as proof. It’s painful but I try to block it out as best I can and I know removal is going to be the worst part. It’s a stern reminder of who is in control. I hold off for 15-20 minutes before asking for permission to remove them, which Mistress grants me. I feel the sting for the rest of the night. Mistress asks if I have learned my lesson and I inform her I will be making no decisions without her permission in future.

    Day 6

    Mistress enquired when my lunch break is today. I’m instructed during to perform 150 slow strokes. Just before the time I had told Mistress I received a video, however something had come up and I had to delay for half an hour or so.

    As soon as I got the chance I headed to the toilet to follow my orders. The video is excruciating as Mistress teases me about how desperate I must be and that I will soon be all locked up. I take the strokes really slowly, I’d like to say in order to savour them but at this point it’s just so I don’t over stimulate. When I finish all 150 I thank Mistress for allowing me to touch her property and struggle on in desperation for the rest of the day.

    Day 7

    Mistress asks if my device is due to be delivered today, it doesn’t look like it will be. Mistress seems devilishly pleased that this means some further teasing. Mistress instructs me to perform 50 slow stroke every half hour over a three hour period. I’m so sensitive by now that every stroke is torture.

    After the second round of 50 Mistress gives me an option to send her a video begging for release and if she feels I’ve begged enough she will cancel the task and let me release. This was quite the dilemma for me, I’ve always been camera shy but I found out today just how much. I was unbelievably desperate at this point but I couldn’t manage it, I tried multiple times, but I just ended up freezing.

    I got through to the final 50 strokes and I had to go somewhere immediately after. Mistress asked if I wanted to empty before I went but by the time I received the message I had already left. When I got back I wasn’t sure if I had permission for a release or not and I didn’t want to bother Mistress if she was busy so I remained denied for another day.

  • Slave Jay – Distance Control Journal – Week 3

    Slave Jay is becoming a regular on the Deelight distance control program and because of this it is a natural progression for me to begin pushing his limits. I know what my slave enjoys, but as he is still new to all this he doesn’t yet know his full potential.  This week I gently pushed him into doing things he wasn’t sure he’d enjoy, that I knew he would!


    Day 1

    Mistress started the day by having me edge myself. Then at random points during the day I was instructed to edge again. Each time the edge came sooner and it was harder to hold back. The last two instructions for the day were accompanied by amazingly sexy pictures of Mistress in lingerie which made it even more difficult to control. I received a final picture but was told to untie her property and no more touching was allowed. A restless night ensued.

    Day 2

    Mistress instructs me to write her name in her property, I rummage around and find a marker pen to do so. It’s good to see her name throughout the day as a gentle reminder of her ownership.

    Later Mistress tells me I will need another pair of stockings. As soon as I get a chance I rush out and purchase some, the process this time is much less uncomfortable. I let Mistress know I have them and she instructs me to put them on my legs and send her a picture. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this, obviously they feel nice and smooth against the skin but I feel a little odd wearing them.

    Mistress instructs me to tie my ankles together with a belt and stroke for half an hour, she informs me if I am to worship her sticking I must get used to wearing them myself. As I stroke with my ankles bound, stocking clad legs, tied cock and balls with Mistress’ name adorned upon I couldn’t help but feel entirely owned at this point. When I’m finished Mistress asks if I wished I could cum to which there’s only one response. And she tauntingly tells me that’s a shame.

    I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to or not but I decided to wear the stockings for the rest of the night.

    Day 3

    Today was a little quiet, I had a lot of work to catch up on and from what I could gather from Twitter so did Mistress.

    Mid morning I receive a picture of Mistress looking spectacular in lingerie, skirt and stockings. She asks me if I can touch myself and get hard at the moment, I wasn’t in the position where I could but I told her that wasn’t stopping me from getting hard.

    Mistress then decides to send me a video teasing me about my busy day at work, it was amazing and an uncomfortable lunch with colleagues followed shortly after and my productivity dipped completely.

    Day 4

    Mistress started the day by asking how brave I felt. I was immediately nervous at the thought of what devious plans she might have. I had to leave before she told me, she wanted me to wear stockings under my trousers at work. It should probably feel strange that I seem to always have a supply of stockings with me now.

    When I got to work I immediately went to the toilet and put them on. Still the actual feeling of wearing stockings itself doesn’t seem to trigger much excitement for me. But the fact that it was something I knew I shouldn’t be doing paired with the fact that with each movement I could feel them and this was an instant reminder of Mistress’ presence stirred some unexpected arousal throughout the day.

    When I got home I decided once again to keep the stockings on for the rest of the day.

    Day 5

    Mistress tells me she is having a pedicure, I am to edge while thinking of her beautiful feet stroking me. As soon as I get a chance I head to the toilet and edge, Mistress tells me I am to edge 5 more times before sunset.

    After lunch I decide to perform my second edge, I have received a video of Mistress teasing me with her freshly pampered feet, it’s intoxicating and almost pushes me over the brink as I struggle to control myself. I edge one more time before heading home.

    I edge three more times in two hours after getting home, Mistress asks if I’m desperate, the only answer to that is extremely. I was left in aching once again.

    Day 6

    Today Mistress instructs me to watch an older video of hers, I am to watch at least 4 times whilst stroking but I am not allowed a release. The video is of Mistress explaining how she likes to make her slaves do things they wouldn’t normally do in order to please her. She highlights the strapon she is wearing and how she would make you lick and suck it and how she would love to make you do this to a real cock. As I reported to Mistress I felt this was a little extreme for me at this point but I was undoubtedly aroused by the thought she could have this much control over somebody.

    Mistress tells me that as I become braver I will submit more and more and she will be making me do things I would never have imagined.

    I watched the video twice while at work and a further twice once I got home. I considered watching some more but at this point I am extremely desperate to release that I feel it’s probably better for me to abstain for now as I have no idea how much longer I am to endure.

    Day 7

    There’s some back and forth between Mistress and myself in the morning but as the day progresses instructions never materialise but I understand that in these cases there will be extenuating circumstances. It’s important on days like today to remember that my role is to be ready to please Mistress whenever she desires and that any time Mistress devotes to toying with me is a privilege.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – By The Balls!

    This entry doesn’t need much of an introduction, I will just leave you with this so you can all join in with the mindset that I put Slave Taquin in, this week!

    This week I had a session with Mistress that deserves a separate blog. The blog below covers the days either side of it. Having said this I do feel that I have to take this opportunity to point out three significant things that I have learned(been taught) as a result of everything that has happened this week.

    1) I have been taught that my sessions are part and parcel of my distance control. I can no longer view sessions and distance control as two separate things. Any failings on my part that happen whilst I am away from the HOD will be remembered and Miss Deelight will punish me for them in what ever way she chooses, when ever she chooses.

    2) As a submissive man it is ok for me to be made to cry by Miss Deelight. It is not easy for me to say this having lived a very stereotypical male life thus far but I can now accept it, and even embrace it, as part of my development as a slave to Miss Deelight.

    3) I had relaxed too much in the comfort of a familiar relationship.

    This weeks blog.

    On Sunday I submitted my blog as normal (not knowing the trouble I was about to be in!). I was still free from the chastity device and the novelty of being out of chastity had worn off. I had begun to feel less controlled as a result.

    Mistress responded to my morning text by telling me that I was to provide her with a list of the most psychologically challenging tasks ever set by her. I started to try to remember all of the tasks that Mistress had set me during the time that I had known her. In doing so I realised that there were also many times when Mistress has done something too me, rather than set me a task, that have had a major impact on me psychologically (like taking over my Facebook account). We therefore agreed that I should list these occasions as well as the tasks. This was a very difficult task and resulted in me spending a lot of time looking back on old blogs to remind me of all of the things that I had been made to do. Mistress had kindly told me that I was allowed a couple of days to complete it. I therefore went to bed that night with too many thoughts of previous torments to allow much settled sleep.

    On Monday I continued to work on task. Mistress instructed me to lock myself back up again. I did as I was told and sent Mistress the photograph to prove it. I then completed my task and sent it to Mistress. These two things combined to ensure that I returned to my rightful submissive state. And then I saw the tweet that was the first indication of the troubles that lay ahead of me. It said ‘Taquin is in trouble for copying humiliation tasks from internet!’ If Mistress tweets that you are in trouble, you had better believe it. Next she tweeted an online questionnaire with 3 choices. All 3 would lead to me having to complete one of the humiliation tasks I had submitted. (Apparently 51 people voted during the next 24 hours. I like to believe that this must be 51 other dommes. I cant believe that any of my fellow subs would take part in such a thing!).

    But when Mistress had set this task a couple of weeks earlier I was certain that she had told me to look for ideas on the internet. This was really unfair! I sent a respectful text to Mistress telling her that she had told me to look on the internet. Her response? ‘you have 10 minutes to prove it’. Panic!! 10 minutes! How did she tell me that it was ok to look for ideas on the internet? Was it e mail or text? It was text. When was it? Time was running out on me. Had I kept the text (I periodically delete all such texts)? I started to frantically scroll back on my texts. I was running out of time. Pages and pages flew across the screen. Had I gone past the text in question? What was the date I was looking for? Should I go to my emails and check what date I submitted the completed task? No I didn’t have time to do that. I kept scrolling. And then I found it! ‘you can search the net for ideas’ followed by ‘if I need to allow access let me know’. Both texts dated 16th April. I copied them and sent them to Mistress with a minute to spare, and held my breath for her response. A minute later it came through. It read ‘well aren’t you a lucky boy!!!!’.  I was sooo relieved. That was until she sent me another text a few minutes later. Ominously it said ‘but I didn’t say that you were allowed to copy and paste’. Another restless night ensued. I got up at 03.45 and realised that Mistress had sent me a text after I had gone to bed it said ‘I have just written a full plan for Wednesdays session’. Now I know that Mistress normally goes into a session with lots of ideas but she normally allows the flow of the session to define what eventually takes place. I wondered why a full session plan was needed this week.

    On Tuesday morning Mistress sent me a video through WhatsApp. When I opened it up on my phone I was greeted by the sight of Mistress dressed in wonderful black lingerie. She took the opportunity to tell me how much she was looking forward to my session. Apparently she was going to increase her grip on me and would have me by the balls. She said that she had been making lots of notes over the last few weeks and that I should be be very afraid. She then blew a kiss and laughed. I recognised the happy look on her face. It told me that my session was going to be ‘challenging’. I watched the video over and over again. Mistress was at her gorgeous, powerful and menacing best. I have watched it many times since then. It acts as a powerful reminder to me when I consider my current predicament.

    My session, that took place on Wednesday, has been covered in a separate blog. All I will disclose here is the fact that, by the time I left the HOD Mistress had taken control of my I Phone. She had loaded on a piece of software called NetSanity. I believed that this would allow Mistress to stop me accessing porn sites (rather like the controls she had already placed on my home PC). I have subsequently found out that she has taken full control of my phone and is able to do so much more than this.

    On Thursday I found myself still reeling from the effects of my session the day before. As a handy reference Mistress kindly sent me a video of one of the more amusing segments from my session. Apart from that and a couple of texts about how well Mistress had recovered from her Marathon I was just left to consider what the future now held for me.

    On Friday I found myself at a customers house for the day. It was quite early when I saw a tweet from Mistress that said that she had disabled the internet access on my phone until 2pm that day. And within 5 minutes of seeing it my phone refused to allow any access to Twitter, E mails, I Messaging or anything else that required connection to the web. It is only at times like these that you realise how much you rely on it. Mistress had, in what I imagined was one easy click of a button at her end, made my phone virtually useless to me. The result, Mistresses property tried to burst through the bars of its cage, and failed miserably and painfully in its attempt. I sent Mistress a text to thank her for allowing me to focus more clearly on my work and telling her of the effect it had had on me. All I got back was a wink. The strange thing was that, although I couldn’t access my personal emails each time one was received I did receive a notification with the subject of the email on my phones screen. I could see Mistress was posting things on Twitter about me, and I could see several ‘likes’ coming through, but I had no way of seeing the content of those emails. It was absolute torture! Of course if I had been in my workshop I would have been able to look at what was going on through my laptop, but I wasn’t and I couldn’t. My internet connection was indeed reconnected as promised at 2pm and I quickly sent Mistress a text to thank her. Just as quickly she sent one back telling me that she had turned it off again and was not going to tell me when I would be able to access it again! I had been plunged straight back into what was now turning into purgatory. I returned to my work whilst Mistresses property dribbled uncontrollably from its cage. A few minutes later my phone beeped and I looked at it only to realise that Mistress was asking it for my location. She was checking up to ensure that I really was away from my workshop. And then a few minutes later my phone started making the loudest alarm noise I had ever heard! I quickly grabbed it and turned the button on the side of it to mute, and the noise continued. I couldn’t silence it. My customer asked what the noise was and I told him that I must have set an alarm incorrectly. I was very flustered. And then the noise stopped and the message ‘you are being watched’ flashed 3 times on my screen. I was in bits by this point. I had no idea that Mistress would be able to do such things.

    As I write this blog today I find myself locked in my chastity device with a steel padlock, with a phone that allows internet access but which has had the internet browser Safari removed from it. I know now that Mistress can reach out a grab me by the proverbial balls when ever she wishes. And following my session earlier in the week I know that my behaviour when I am away from the HOD had better live up to all of Mistresses expectations or that I will suffer in some way as a result.

    Do you crave the contact and control from a dominant female and wish you could experience the kind of mind-fuckery that my other slaves receive? Click here to apply for sms training and control.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – A Breather

    I have deliberately given Taquin a breather this week to ensure that he wears his device for as long as possible however I didn’t miss the opportunity to remind him exactly how easy it is for me to switch with his emotions and state of arousal in just a few brief moments.

    mistress-dominatrix-breast-worship-tease (3)

    On Sunday I found myself thinking about the future. I had the previous week enjoyed the last of my paid up sessions and needed to provide Mistress a request for future sessions. I had some time previously, in a rash moment of submission, committed to Mistress for distance control until January 2017. Today I needed to consider doing the same for sessions. This would constitute a significant commitment from both a time and money perspective of course. But by far the largest commitment was that of being owned by Miss Deelight for at least the next 8 months. I have been in this situation for long enough now to know that this will inevitably result in some incredible highs, and some unbearable lows. It is this contrast, sometimes deliberately created by Mistress and sometimes just as the result of circumstances, that adds so much to my normal life. In previous femdom relationships I have always taken it a session at a time. I knew that by signing up to the next 8 sessions now that there would be no turning back. Mistress will not allow it. Once we had agreed the terms of my forthcoming servitude and I had transferred money into Miss Delights account she took the opportunity to wind me up about the situation that I now found myself in with texts such as ‘you are well and truly at my mercy for the rest of this year’ and ‘what a shame you cant remove that device for a celebratory wank, lol’. I had as the day  progressed been led into a deep pit of horny frustration. These texts just about finished me off. I went to bed that night with all sorts of emotions swirling around in my head. I was relieved about having finally made a decision about something that I had been debating in my mind for some time, I was excited about the experiences that lay ahead and I was scared by the finality of what I had done.

    Monday morning dawned and I recited my mantra as I knew must. (I am meant to recite it when going to bed and when getting up in the morning but have to confess that I do sometimes forget at bed time). I will continue to try to rectify this. Mistress started to discuss how she is going to install parental controls on my I Phone. It was something that I knew would happen at some point.  Mistress has already taken control of my viewing on my PC. The fact that I can still access porn on my phone has been uncomfortable for me. I always crave absolute control with no possible escape. I don’t like it when I have a potential opportunity to cheat (it is why I always feel most comfortable when locked in a chastity device). Mistress has informed me that she is looking into how best to remove this last temptation from me. She did come up with one alternative solution later in the week. She sent me a video of a slave being whipped on the thighs and explained to me that this would be my fate if she ever caught me watching porn without her permission. This is an effective temporary solution!

    Following on from what was a pretty desperate weekend for me Mistress seemed to ease off for the next few days. She did ask one morning how her property was and I replied that it was relaxed due to something of a break from its normal torments. Mistress replied by informing me that she was deliberately allowing me time to acclimatise to the new device. To me it felt rather like Mistress had put the stabilisers back onto my push bike to prevent me falling off and hurting myself. I know that it has been done with my best long term interests in mind, but it didn’t feel like as much fun. The reality is that Mistress now has me for at least 8 months. I do love the fact that she is totally in control. I also love the fact that she is trying to ensure that she is able to increase my tolerance of the device in order that she can keep me locked up for longer periods.

    It was Friday when Mistress illustrated once again how she is able to turn me on or off like a light switch. All it took was a series of 3 or 4 texts from her to get her property fighting with the device once again. I went to bed that night horny once again. On Saturday morning I woke to find a message left for me on my laptop. Mistress reminded me that if I have to ask her for the code to unlock myself from the chastity device I will face another 6 agonising strokes of the cane the next time I visit the HOD. But if I get sore and don’t ask for the code to release myself I will be given 18 strokes of the cane when I next attend. The phrase damned if I do and damned if I don’t comes to mind. Mistress has made absolutely certain that I wont chicken out of asking to be released if I am becoming sore. I couldn’t possibly risk having to endure 18 strokes.’

    And then later in the day I was given a task that is causing me much angst. Mistress has told me that I must come up with a list of 50 humiliation tasks suitable to be given to distance control slaves. I will apologise here and now if this list results in discomfort to any of my fellow Slaves! In my defense I would like to say that a) I can’t imagine that I will include anything that Mistress has not already incorporated or considered in her domination of her subjects and b) that I doubt I have the imagination to suggest anything particularly devious. My angst is caused in particular by the fact that it could be used against me. Coming up with a list of 50 is really difficult ( I am up to about 30 so far) and doesn’t allow me the luxury of picking and choosing what to include and exclude. There are many things on there that are way outside of my personal limits. As always I will have to trust Mistress to use her best judgment. Of course the thinking process and accompanying fear has created the situation that Mistress will have hoped for. I can think of little else but this task and therefore her. I am as horny as hell again. I just wonder what the next 8 months holds for me.

  • Slave J – Distance Control Journal – Week 2

    My new resident distance pet, Slave J took up a second week of control recently. Though apprehensive when he first started sampling the world of my Deelightful control, he is now another hooked and devoted pet. As he’s totally new to the world of BDSM I have been somewhat kind though mercilessly teasing throughout his second week.

    foot_worship_for_beginners_video_still (18)

    Day 1

    Today Mistress tells me she will be going on a four hour run, which is astounding, and my task is to suffer with her. She tells me her four hours will consist of 8 sections of 25 minutes running followed by 5 minutes of walking. I am therefore required to stroke for 25 then rest for 5 eight times over the same time. I knew this was going to be tough but I appreciated the feeling that I would be somewhat connected with Mistress during this time.

    Three hours in and I don’t remember 5 minutes passing so quickly and yet the following 25 seemed like an eternity. I was extremely sensitive and it took all my self control to hold back as Mistress had not given me permission to cum. Each time it felt like it was getting too much I thought about the struggle Mistress must be going through and my torment seemed insignificant in comparison.

    Mistress checked in later to ensure I hadn’t cum to which I confirmed I had not. I kept my eyes firmly on my phone for the rest of the day just in case but I knew it was unlikely I would hear anymore from Mistress today which was perfectly fine, she deserved some rest.

    Day 2

    I enquired how Mistress was recovering from yesterday. When I get to work Mistress replies that she is ok but her feet hurt and that there should be a willing slave to massage and worship them. This immediately gets me hard as I imagine myself at her feet. Mistress tells me that she should be the one at a desk and I should be chained underneath tending to her feet and that has me basically zoned out for the rest of the day as I turn on autopilot at work whist daydreaming about that scenario.

    Around midday Mistress orders me to go and edge with a stocking as a glove and imagine her feet gliding on my cock. The soft nylon against my skin feels amazing and the troubles I had the previous week stroking at work seemed to fade away as I edged myself for Mistress.

    After being home for a while I get a message out of nowhere “go and do it again”, I immediately jump to attention. Mistress tells me to visualise her feet, the taste, the smell, the feel. After yesterday’s exertions and my state of constant arousal throughout the day I’m almost on the edge before I even start. Mistress seems amused by how quickly it is before I tell her I’m struggling to hold back. I edge for as long as I can without causing me to make a mistake. I spend the rest of the evening aching and hoping for more, there’s no orgasm in sight for me once again.

    Day 3

    Mistress tells me we will play a card game today and will be in touch later. My interest is piqued as I consider what this game might be, I imagine the odds will be stacked against me.

    In the evening Mistress lays down the rules, 7 cards, I have to choose if the next is higher or lower, if I’m correct I stroke slowly, if I’m wrong I stroke fast. If by the end I have been correct more times I get to cum.

    My fate comes down to the final card, I have a 3 in front of me and my brain tells me That the next card will surely be a 2, but I’m not thinking with my brain right now and I go with the more likely. Mistress mercilessly shows the final card and tells me there will be no cumming tonight. I’ve been teased and tormented but my queen has spoken and the longing shall continue for another day.

    Day 4

    Today Mistress decides the games are not over. She tells me she’s going to toss a coin every half hour until 9pm. Again if I decide correct more times I get to cum. I already know it’s going to be a long mentally torturous day as my fate is slowly decided.

    I was trading wins and losses most of the day but when I got home a losing streak started. One more wrong choice and I would be denied once more, hope was all but gone. Mistress deviously started teasing me with pictures, it was cruel and yet so captivating.

    I had prepared myself for another aching night but at this point I began winning again, the hope had returned and it came down to the final coin toss. I lost.

    Mistress then threw me a curveball, I could abstain or have a ruined orgasm. The craving for an orgasm was so intense by now I had to give it some consideration. But I decided to play by Mistress’ rules and deny myself. I have no idea when my next opportunity will come but a ruined orgasm would not be worth the trials of this week so far. It was going to be a restless night.

    Day 5

    With a few hours left of work Mistress tells me she has sent me a treat, a link with instructions for when I get home, put on some headphones and listen to the track, I am allowed to follow the whole way through. I strongly hope this means what I think it does. The next few hours pass so slowly as I imagine what it might be. As my luck this week has been its no surprise the traffic on my way home is particularly heavy.

    When I get home I find out Mistress has sent me a hypnosis joi audio clip. I’m not overly convinced with the concept of hypnosis but I definitely found myself in a deep state of relaxation as I listened to Mistress’ seductive voice. It was perfect after a long day at work and my stresses began to drift away and when the final instruction came to cum I exploded in pure ecstasy. I was riding that high for the rest of the evening.

    Day 6

    Mistress very kindly instructs me to watch some video clips of her, I’m allowed to stoke but no orgasm today. Again there is a few more hours left of work and a long drive home before I get the opportunity.

    The clips are of a live session of Mistress tying and teasing a sub. The helplessness and vulnerability paired with Mistress’ power and playfulness is extremely arousing and has me picturing myself being in such a predicament.

    Mistress tells me to imagine just this very thing and her teasing her property with her nylon clad legs. I am told to stroke one more time to this image before bed. It was difficult to sleep with a rock hard cock and the vivid image of Mistress on my mind.
    Day 7

    In the morning Mistress immediately instructs me to edge three times.

    A few hours later I get the succinct instruction “now do it again”. It’s not quite so simple this time, the sensitivity has greatly increased and I find myself struggling to hold back.

    Another few hours later and I’m told to do it again once more. It’s getting really tough at this point, it’s basically just one long edge now but I stroke as long as I can without tipping over then rest for 5 minutes and continue.

    When I get to the end I’m struggling to type out a message because I’m trembling with pleasure when Mistress asks if I finished. She then tells I am to watch another video no earlier than 9pm and follow the instructions. I’m relieved at the slight break in proceedings and very excited to see what Mistress wants me to watch.

    At 9pm I eagerly follow the orders given and begin to watch the video. It is another live session of Mistress giving a sub stroking instructions. I immediately envision myself in this place, on the floor by Mistress’ feet and follow along. The finale of an intense orgasm is a wonderful way to end the week, I feel privileged to have been allowed such pleasure.

  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control and Session Journal – 6 of the Best!

    Previously I had warned Slave Taquin that an early request for his keysafe code to get the key for his device, would result in a punishment of 6 strokes of the cane. Taquin hates pain so this is an appropriate punishment for him. Unfortunately for him, he needed the code within a couple of days to make further adjustments to his device.  I was not going to let him off but I did also allow myself to enjoy a wonderful session of rope bondage which is something we both enjoy.  See the amazing pictures below.

    I am writing this on the Saturday of what has been an eventful week. The result of the events that have occurred this week is that I am feeling happy, horny and very submissive.

    Vanilla events had led me to request an extension to my normal Sunday morning deadline for blog submission. I had eventually managed to submit it during Sunday evening following which Mistress and I exchanged a few e mail on the subject of running. She had completed a magnificent final long run before commencing the taper down of her training in preparation for the Marathon that would take place 3 weeks later.

    It was on Monday that I felt Mistress start  tighten her grip on me once again. It started with a declaration by her that, seeing as my swelling balls were the reason for my difficulties with the chastity device, that they would have to be emptied regularly between sessions from now on. Naively I conjured up thoughts of meeting Mistress once a week in order that she might provide me with an orgasm. Regrettably the conclusion from a series of texts on the subject is that on day 12 of every month Mistress will provide me with my key safe code in order that I can release myself from the device and give myself a ruin. I will then be allowed 2 days freedom from the device before being locked up again by Mistress via skype. Two weeks after that I will attend the HOD for my monthly session where Mistress will, if I am lucky, release me whilst I am suitably restrained.

    As if this wasn’t enough to make me realise my predicament Mistress then sent me a fantasy that involved me being at the HOD on hands and knees secured to the ceiling by a rope body harness and anal hook whilst having my photograph taken for additional ‘leverage’. My task was to think about this whilst slowly stroking Mistresses property until it was at the very edge of orgasm. I completed the task and still dribbling away confirmed this to Mistress. Her response? ‘Are you wearing your panties’? The truth was that I wasn’t and so I thought about it for a moment before rushing off to put them on. I then replied ‘yes Mistress’ only to receive a one word reply ‘proof’… Thank goodness I had actually put them on I thought as I took a photo and sent it back to Mistress. The picture amused her and her response was positive. I decided that I had better keep them on for the rest of the day.

    I went to bed that night tormented by the events of the day that had just finished but also in the knowledge that I was due at the HOD the following day. My apprehension at having to attend the HOD the following day was heightened by the knowledge that Mistress had told me that I was due 6 strokes of her cane on my next visit for requesting to be released from my chastity device. I consoled myself with the thought that maybe this was just one of Mistresses mind games. I awoke in the early hours and checked my phone. Mistress had sent me a text that read ‘tick tock panty boy’ followed by a series of very distressed emoticons. Maybe this really was going to happen.

    I stopped at Magor services on the way to the HOD the next day and checked my phone. It was bad news. Mistress had tweeted that I was going to get 6 of the best. This was not good. Despite all of my recent ramblings about pain I am unwavering in my first reaction to it which is that I don’t like it. I drove up outside the HOD and let Mistress know that

    1. a) I had arrived
    2. b) that I was considering starting the engine and driving home again.

    Mistress left me in no doubt that this would be a mistake on my part.

    At 1 minute past my session time Mistress berated me for being late and I got out of my car and scurried over to the HOD. I followed the instructions that had been provided to me earlier in the day and within a couple of minutes found myself kneeling, naked on the floor of the dungeon with my head bowed my hands upturned on my thighs and chanting my mantra. Mistress entered the dungeon and instructed me to continue chanting. I faltered slightly as she walked up in front of me and positioned herself immediately in front of my kneeling torso. She moved closer but didn’t touch me. I chanted on. She moved a fraction closer and I allowed my head to rest forward on to her stocking clad knee. ‘Get your head off my leg’ was the swift response. I did so instantly. Mistress told me to continue reciting my mantra as she slowly and deliberately walked around me. Once she was in front of me again she told me that I could stop my recital and look up. I gladly did so to find Mistress wearing black stockings and lingerie and looking incredibly powerful and incredibly sexy. ‘Soak it all in Slave’ she said, ‘this is your last chance to enjoy it’. With that she started to wrap a bandage around my head and across my eyes until all light was blocked out. I was ordered to stand so that Mistress could craft a body harness around me from the hemp rope that I had been instructed to buy. Once completed I was instructed to follow the directions given to me and make my way across the dungeon. My destination was the whipping bench. As I was strapped down to it I knew full well what was about to happen to me. Despite my fear I became increasingly excited as Mistress secured my arms and legs in inescapable bondage.


    Once secured Mistress walked across the dungeon floor and I heard her pick up something that sounded metallic. I had expected to hear the sound of a cane being withdrawn from its receptacle. In the place of the stinging pain of a cane being laid across my cheeks the next sensation I felt was a gloved and lubricated finger being slid inside my arse. I realised immediately what was about to happen. I was about to experience for the first time the joys of the anal hook. And so a few minutes later I found myself tied and strapped to a whipping bench secured to the ceiling by body harness and anal hook unable to move more than a fraction. And Mistress left the room laughing at my demise.

    Some while later Mistress returned and removed the hook. It had actually been quite comfortable once I had got used to it, but it really didn’t want to come out! Mistress applied just sufficient pressure and it slid out. The small amount of soreness quickly subsided and Mistress declared that it was time for my punishment. In a way I was pleased. I really did want to get it out of the way as the thought of it was preventing her property from enjoying the session. Mistress explained that I was to be punished for having to request the code to my device. She told me to thank her, and count, for each stroke of the cane. She hit me for the first time and I gasped, winced, tensed, said ‘thank you Mistress, one’ and exhaled. It really hurt! And so it progressed each blow hurting successively more than the previous one. Number 5 was completed and Mistress told me to stop straining so hard against my bonds. I really couldn’t help it. I knew that the last one would be even worse than what had gone before. That is Mistresses way. And I was correct. Blow number six took me to the very edge of cursing. It is something that I really try not to do in front of Mistress. I don’t think I swore but I am sure that I must have given out the greatest yelp. I was so glad it was over. Mistress laughed and declared that I had the most wonderful soft and beatable bum. She was very happy with the 6 perfectly parallel lines that stayed with me for the rest of the day. Mistress said afterwards that she looked forwarded to hearing my views on my beating.

    (My views Mistress are this: I don’t like pain. It doesn’t make me horny when it is applied. I fear it. It is a genuine tool in your formidable armory by which you can control me. I love the fact that it gives you pleasure in its application. It makes me understand who is truly in control. I am feeling submissive as I write this because of it. I will try not to fail you again in order to avoid it.)

    Having received my punishment Mistress released me from the bench, secured my hands above my head and provided me with a wonderful orgasm. I was locked back into my device and provided the spare key, locked securely away into the key safe to which only Mistress knows the combination. I returned home happy with my place in the world.

    The following day Mistress revealed a new way of tormenting me. I was in my workshop working on my own when Mistress logged into my Laptop using teamviewer. It was a quick but ultimately impactful visit. Since applying parental controls to my PC I have been unable to access porn. Today she opened up the pornhub site on my laptop and typed in ‘Femdom Blackmail’ into the search bar. Up came an assortment of videos for me to chose from. Mistress left me with the word ‘enjoy’ knowing of course that I was locked in chastity and unable to experience any real enjoyment at all. I chose a video to watch and eagerly clicked on it. All that it did was took me back to the screen that said ‘you need to ask the adults in your house to allow you to see this’. It seemed that I would have to ask Mistress every time I wished to watch a video. It was as if Mistress had sat me down in a wonderful restaurant and given me a menu to chose from, but would still control what and when I could eat. And that is how my day progressed with Mistress drip feeding me porn. I was allowed to watch 3 videos before permission stopped being granted. Now she just says something like ‘I might let you watch one later’ or she just ignores me. It is driving me nuts.

    Yesterday Mistress very kindly gave her distance control slaves access to a wonderful series of bondage videos that she created from a recent session. She then proceeded to take some time telling me how enslaved I really am to her and what might happen if I ever let her down. She sent me a picture of my new slave collar and informed me that I was now going to be placed on the Slave register. I did joke that this might cause me a problem when I chose to move on. She calmly reminded me that this was now impossible. Mistress is, as always, correct.


  • Slave Taquin – Distance Control Journal – A Slight Reprieve

    This journal entry from Slave Taquin shows a brief period of calm for my loyal chaste pet!

    Following the intense teasing of last week Mistress has allowed me a quieter week this week.

    Sunday was spent completing my blog and getting on with life in general. I woke on Monday to find that Mistress had now declared that I was her DIY slave. It is always nice to be recognised for being useful in any way and so I am pleased. Later in the day Mistress informed me that the new collar that she had ordered for me from my account had been dispatched.

    Tuesday started well with Mistress sending me a link to some very nice looking bondage mitts. They were the type that, when strapped to the hands of the slave in question, would prevent him from undoing the knots or buckles that secured him. It seems that Mistress has found yet another way of ensuring my captivity. Mistresses property went hard in its cage at the thought and my balls swelled once again. This was how I had spent much of the previous week. The unfortunate side effect of the swelling balls however had been to pull the skin taught behind the ring of the device, and eventually it had started to get a little sore. I had managed it successfully with cream until today. Now I was faced with a real dilemma. Mistress had informed me that I would face 6 strokes of the cane if I had to ask her for the combination of the key safe in order to remove the device. Maybe I should just grin and bear the soreness until the device was removed at my next session? I discounted this fairly quickly. I knew that if Mistress removed the device to find that I had allowed myself to be damaged by it that she would ensure that I would endure far worse pain as a result. It would also result in Mistress not trusting my feedback any longer and probably result in her refusing to be my keyholder. I sent Mistress a text requesting the code. Her response? The code, evil emoticons and ‘that’s 6 of the best for you then’! I retrieved the key from the key safe, unlocked the padlock and removed the device. I had worn it this time for 10 days. It seemed that my alterations to it were working out. It was disappointing to have to remove it now but it did allow me the opportunity to smooth off the edges just a little more where it was rubbing. The soreness I had experienced was minor. It would have got worse if I had not requested its removal but I am still hopeful that this device will be the long term solution that I, and Mistress, wish for.

    On Wednesday I received the intriguing, and slightly concerning, question – ‘How long can you stay on your hands and knees for?’. My answer was to say that I could stay on my hands and knees for quite a long time. When I asked Mistress why she needed to know this she said that she was ‘just plotting away’. I think Mistress does a lot of ‘plotting’.

    Other events of this week included Mistress tweeting that she was reviewing my internet usage to ensure that I wasn’t breaking any of her rules. It made me nervous for a little while, but on reflection I felt that my time on the laptop had been within the guidelines set down. The parental controls see to that! Mistress did allow me access to 3 new sites this week. They were all to do with Chastity. By this time I was feeling a bit down in the dumps about not being in a chastity device any longer. I told Mistress that allowing me access to these sites was like offering chocolate to someone on an enforced diet. She told me that she was enjoying the suffering that I was experiencing.

    The other thing that happened this week was that it was my birthday. I sent Mistress a text to let her know. Maybe I would be allowed a ‘birthday orgasm’. I should have known better after my experience 3 months earlier when I had hoped for a ‘Christmas orgasm’. That never happened either. Mistresses response was to inform me that every time she sent me a text that said ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ I was to stroke her property very slowly. Once for every year of my age. That is quite a lot of stroking on each occasion. And so that is how I spent much of my bir